posted January 27, 2021 12:21 AM
Hi Laylay! 🌈 I have to say that I was pretty mind blown by your synastry and composite. It is really not often that we come across such an intense connection in life so I hope you guys appreciate what you have together and never let each other go!
I think I have too much to say about it lolll so I will add in some headings.. so it’s clearer!
⭐️Synastry Aspects...⭐️
You have some amazing aspects going on and they are all in close orbs so they will be strongly felt between you.
You were asking if this is mutual... I am not psychic so I can’t be 100% sure of what he feels.. but based on the astrology it really couldn’t be more mutual!
You both have a Venus/Mars aspect in natal. You have the conjunction in Capricorn. He has the opposition in Cancer/Capricorn. This would be a strong indicator of chemistry and attraction even if your respective Venus and Mars were not in aspect in the synastry. However, in your case, the connection is even more “in sync” because the planets are also in close aspect.
This is a double whammy of sorts... because not only do you have Venus/Mars in aspect - but you also have the Venus2Venus, and Mars2Mars connections. This is a very magnetic mix. It creates that kind of energy where two people can’t stay away from each other. You really couldn’t, even if you tried! 😊 lol
When you go somewhere together as a couple, you probably seem very in sync and also look great together.. Don’t be surprised if you get a lot of compliments from friends and family saying you are the perfect couple!
This connection is also great because it shows long lasting chemistry. Sometimes Venus/Mars aspects can point to a -flash in the pan- romance... But the signs involved here are Capricorn and Cancer.. which are serious and family oriented signs. You are very much in tune and you probably both want a commitment...
You were saying you’re not sure about how committed he is. This is interesting... I think there are some miscommunications going on between you...
You are both air signs -Aquarius/Gemini and your Moons are conjunct in Taurus (in his 7th house) - This pretty much screams commitment. You are definitely his type and someone who he would be proud to introduce to his family and close friends.
He probably feels very lucky to have met you. I doubt that he has ever met a woman quite like you before. So I think he’s pretty mesmerised (not just “into you”). You also have your Uranus/Neptune tuning into the Venus/Mars cocktail... and in particular your Neptune (12th ruler) is closely opposite his Venus (7th ruler). This is a lovey dovey connection.. He might be putting you on a pedestal.
I also added some love asteroids .. and his Valentine/Eros conjunction is closely conjunct your Sun/Mercury. This is another indicator that he is strongly into you and feels love.. not just attraction. Valentine is the asteroid of pure, unconditional love. It shows a karmic soul connection between two people.
⭐️ Composite Aspects...⭐️
In the composite chart - you have the much sought after “love stellium” - Sun/Venus/Mercury all conjunct and squaring Mars. Valentine shows up again, conjunct the North Node, which points to the theme of this relationship being one of -true heartfelt love.
In the context of everything else in your relationship.. I don’t think the composite Mars square will be a major problem. If anything, “the love stellium” in and of itself can be a bit too sweet .. sugary sweet and cutesy.. so the Mars (Capricorn) square brings you a dose of honesty and reality and brings you back down to earth, when it’s needed.
In the composite - Saturn is dignified in Capricorn in a wide conjunction to Uranus and makes some nice aspects to the NN - and asteroids Valentine, Ceres and Eros (although it is opposite Chiron and it does square Amor). It doesn’t make close aspects to the personal planets.
This is not a great Saturn situation... but I wouldn’t think it is terrible either. I would say it is neutral... When Saturn figures prominently in the composite - the couple is often brought together in a very established situation. They might be working together or there might be other things that “tie” them.. whether financially or otherwise...
Since Saturn/Uranus are a bit removed from the rest of the chart - I would say that your commitment to each other and the longevity of the relationship depends a lot on both of you individually putting in the effort to make this last (you do have Saturn trine Sun in the synastry!) - rather than outside forces “tying you” together. It’s also important that you respect each other’s freedom and individuality (Uranus).
Some astrologers think Saturn is needed for a long term connection. But there are times when I have seen Saturn in situations where people were tied together for life against their will.. for instance through an unplanned pregnancy. So having a lot of Saturn is not always positive .. and having little to no Saturn is not always negative!
Also, as I was saying earlier.. the fact that the Capricorn/Cancer axis is prominent in your charts - shows that you are both emotionally mature and able (as well as willing!) to make a long term commitment.
So.... I would say the Mars square you have in composite -and- the Saturn/Uranus connection that does not aspect personal planets..... are *challenges*, but they are challenges that can be overcome.
You have some other tense aspects like - your Sun/Mercury squaring your Moons.. and his Sun squaring your Jupiter - but these are more in the “day to day problems anyone can have in a relationship” basket... like having the occasional argument..
⭐️ Mercury Problems... ⭐️
What I see as the biggest issue here is... his Mercury in Cancer. Even though this is conjunct your IC, it stands out as it is not in aspect to any of your planets. All of your other personal planets are very connected.. but his Mercury was not invited to that party 😜 ... It might be difficult for him to communicate his emotions in a clear way... Water sign Mercuries have the habit of hinting, rather than clearly stating something.
Your Mercury is very different to his. It is well-placed in Aquarius (exalted) and also conjunct your Sun. You can be pretty assertive in expressing yourself and you really have a way with words. You are probably very eloquent and quite talkative. Even though he is a Gemini and he likely appreciates and loves the way you are - the way you express yourself... the things you talk about.. etc... He might, nonetheless, feel a bit tongue tied at times. Perhaps you are more so the one doing the talking and he is mostly listening... You might even find this frustrating at times.
If you feel like you don’t completely trust his feelings for you.. I’m pretty sure this is a communication problem.. because he does seem to have deep feelings.
I would say that actually he is the more emotional person out of the two of you... You are more level headed and a bit more detached. Even though he’s an air sign - he has stronger influence in water -Scorpio AC/Mercury/Venus in Cancer... and Sun conjunct Chiron/8th house ..
⭐️Chinese-Western Astrology Combination⭐️
This is actually also echoed in the Chinese astrology.. I usually look at the year sign and the hour sign - in compatibility, but the day sign can also be relevant. You are a monkey (year) and snake (hour)... whereas
he is a tiger (year) and rooster (hour).
In men this tiger/rooster mix can come across as very masculine but he is actually a lot more emotional than he seems. Being monkey/snake (plus your western Aquarius/Capricorn placements) you are pretty cerebral.. so you find it easier to detach from a situation and see things in a more objective light.
Tigers can be a bit too caught up in their emotions and also their ego. He is definitely a passionate person with this mix.. but it’s possible he doesn’t always think things through as much as you would.
We’ve had some threads on Chinese astrology and talked about famous people of different signs and how it impacts appearance and personality. Different astrologers have different takes on this.. but I think it does have an impact on looks and body language.. and the general energy/vibe you get from a person. I’m pretty good at guessing people’s Chinese signs.. sometimes better than I am at guessing their Western chart.. so I’m pretty confident that this is relevant!
The way I have noticed this play out is that... when two people are compatible in Chinese astrology.. the Western synastry and composite readings are a lot more relevant for them.. because these people are likely to get close enough to really have a connection.
When the Chinese signs are incompatible.. there is almost like an instant aversion... and it’s more difficult for them to even start a relationship or friendship.
In your relationship - tiger/monkey is a good match.. these signs can be very attracted to each other as both are confident and have strong personalities so they are often surrounded by people. Your hour signs -rooster/snake are an even better match since they are in the same “triangle”.. which is the same as being trine.. in Western astrology. I think you felt comfortable around each other very quickly.. as you have similar/compatible energy levels.
The hour signs are also connected to physical appearance ... He has Scorpio AC/Rooster hour.. and you have Aries AC/Snake hour.. You both have the Martian influence going on, and the Rooster/Snake trine.. This is definitely an indication that you look great together and are very well matched physically.
⭐️ Attachment Issues ⭐️
Based on your answers.. I think you are both likely to be fearful avoidant in attachment. This is a pretty complex area of psychology and I can’t be totally sure that this is your attachment style. If you are interested and read more about it, let me know what you think! If you think you guys might have a different attachment style, then obviously what I am saying here won’t apply so much...
So... fearful avoidant... I’m not a fan of these labels, because they are a bit misleading. But basically what this means is that.. you have a strong desire to be in a close loving relationship, but you also have strong fears attached to this. There are varied explanations of attachment styles.. The majority see it as a behaviour pattern that originates in childhood based on your closest relationship/s with your caregivers.... mainly the primary caregiver (usually the mother).
There are different perspectives on this as well.. Some see it as a behaviour pattern that changes throughout your life depending on other close relationships you have as an adult... so it isn’t necessarily something that is “set” from an early age or unchangeable.
Others claim that you can have a certain attachment style in a certain relationship - and be quite different in terms of attachment in another relationship (depending on the other person).
Personally.. I think there is more of a “set” pattern with people.. that they seem to have in several relationships. But this is just my take on it!
Either way, based on your answers I would say that you are probably more in the “fearful avoidant” ballpark.. at least in your interaction towards each other.. There are some good things about this, but there are also some problems and things that you would need to work on.
The good part is that you both genuinely want to have a loving long-term and exclusive relationship, and you are both empathetic people who have the ability to let each other “in” and really be a team together.. When things are positive between you -you would feel like an “us”.. like true soulmates merging.. You wouldn’t feel like two separate individuals “just dating” - This is a level of closeness that some of the other attachment types have difficulty dealing with.
The problems start when.. either one of you (but even more so him, because of his more emotional watery placements) feels triggered by something...
It can be a minor thing.. or a more major thing.. but whatever it is - you are likely to perceive it as a threat.. and possibly panic that the relationship will end badly or that you will be cheated on, left, betrayed in some way...
Generally... fearful-avoidants are not great at communicating things “out loud” when problems like this crop up. They are more likely to become very upset, possibly angry and react by either withdrawing or behaving badly towards the partner (showing discontent, but not really explaining what their problem is).
For example... let’s say the gf of a fearful-avoidant guy tells him she will be back from *insert event* in time for dinner... but she gets back an hour late.. The FA guy might inwardly panic about it and make up scenarios as to why this happened... but instead of being vulnerable and clearing the air - he would be more likely to pick an argument over something totally unrelated and possibly completely trivial... like “why she left the ketchup outside of the fridge again... “ - and he could be strangely intense about it - “OMG.. I told you I always put the ketchup in the fridge. Why do you have to do this? Do you really not care about me at all and how I feel about the ketchup?!! #fml 🔥💔🤬”
In your relationship - even though you might both be FA.. I think you are much better at communicating with him when you have an issue, because you have a happy/exalted Mercury and you generally find it easier to communicate.
He, on the other hand... with the Cancer Mercury... could keep his fears under wraps for a long time... and keep hinting at problems rather than telling you how he feels.
You were asking how he feels and why you’re not seeing a proper commitment from him...
Judging by how intense this connection is astrologically... and considering that he is likely to be FA - he is probably very scared.
The more intense and emotionally close a relationship is, the more an FA person would feel triggered and fearful about losing their partner.
This is probably compounded by his inability to communicate and express himself ... and the fact that his Cancer Mercury is un-aspected in the synastry. He definitely feels a strong attraction (your Moons conjunct and opposite your Pluto, his Venus opposite your Uranus/Neptune and the Venus/Mars cocktail) .. so he is probably insecure about it.. maybe he has thoughts that you are too good for him, putting you on a pedestal.. and that he doesn’t deserve you.. that you’ll eventually drop him anyway ... these are all very common thoughts with the FA attachment.
FA can also be hyper vigilant ... and pick up on small changes in behaviour and interpret everything as possibly leading to rejection..
It might seem strange for a guy who appears very self-confident (Tiger/Rooster and Cap Mars/Sco AC) to be so emotionally vulnerable... but being FA *plus* those Cancer placements ... he could be hiding a lot of insecurity under the surface.
I would say that he needs more reassurance that you wouldn’t leave him.. and that you are actually in this for the long haul.
You don’t have much water in your chart. Cancer can be a very sentimental sign.. and they are (this will sound funny but...) - particularly sentimental about food! Cancer rules the stomach so those old-school sayings about how the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach - apply to Cancer!
Being Aquarius with Aries and Capricorn in the mix you might not like the idea of being so traditional - like cooking for him... but I really feel like this guy needs some TLC from you - to be able to express how he feels and get closer.
They can be very sentimental especially about things from their childhood... like their favourite food as a kid.. things that remind them of home and family...
If you try to tune into his sentimental watery side - I think he will feel safer around you and won’t hold back so much.. He is probably a bit intimidated...
⭐️⭐️⭐️Phew... so I ended up writing more about this than I intended but you have a very intense relationship and there are a lot of different things going on!
I really hope this does work out between you, because you have some amazing and very positive aspects 💗
Let me know how close I was with the reading! I’m curious if this applies to you.. and if you have any other questions!⭐️⭐️⭐️
Lindaland
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posted January 23, 2021 11:38 PM
posted January 27, 2021 12:20 AM
but that just confirms what you said about his fear/s. We have tried to not talk to each other but we just cant. We've really tried.. we are like magnets.
I decided just to answer the questions about me. Since we are still in the friend's phase. But I would like to know if there is the potential for actually having a relationship.