posted August 27, 2022 02:16 PM            

But somehow, The older we become, the more terrible the relationship gets. Every time I try to communicate with her, it´s almost as if I´m talking a different language. She has changed so much throughout the years, that at times I don´t feel like I know her anymore.
She has always been a very temperamental person, quick to anger and harsh words but it didn´t make me love her any less. I accepted that about her and as it goes, family is family.
But in recent years, it has become so toxic that I would stop talking to her all together for months. Any argument we have, however small, she blows it out of proportion and begins to hurl all sort of hurtful and terrible things to me. It gets to the point where I would feel like crying and I´m a 28 year-old grown woman. She never apologizes when wrong and whenever I speak up for myself, I become the monster. It´s always me, and she is always the victim.

I know respect is something you earn and not something you expect others to give to you but I´m still her older sister. There should be a bottom line. She´s so resentful and vindictive towards me and I cannot understand why. I haven´t done anything to warrant such attitude. I´ve supported her (financially when she was a student and emotionally during her academic struggles/break-ups), lend her my ear when she needed it and I would call and ask after her regularly when she wouldn´t even bother to send me a text.

I am at my wit´s end and honestly, I feel so emotionally exhausted with this whole situation. I´m so tired of this hostility and I wish things would go back to how we were once. I expressed this to her several times but it´s almost as if there´s a wall between us, nothing gets through. This is genuinely depressing me and I have no clue how to resolve this.

There´s a four year age gap between us and this is our synastry. I´m in blue, she is in red.

posted August 27, 2022 03:37 PM            

When I look at your synastry, I notice the conjunction between your Venus and her Pluto, this triggers her natal Sun square Pluto aspect. Harsh Venus and Pluto aspects (opposition, square and conjunction) are known as love and hate aspects. These type of relationships run deep and cause great transformations. However these transformations can be painful. Your Chiron conjunct her north node does indicate that your relationship has a theme of pain and healing. People need time to grow into their challenging aspects and it’s often only after their Saturn return (around your 28/29th birthday) when people are more mature and get some introspection. Looking at your chart I can see you recently had yours. That’s probably why you’re more triggered to look at what you find acceptable behavior and what’s not. Your sister still has a couple of years to go.

posted August 27, 2022 04:19 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PlutoWasHere:
SilverFeather, thank you for sharing your story and I’m sorry that your going through such a rough time right now. I can see that your sister has a challenging natal chart. Her Moon conjunct Mars indicates a fiery emotional nature and with her Moon in Aries ruled by Mars that’s emphasized even more. Her Moon could be in the critical first degree indicating this is something she still needs to master. Her Sun is square Pluto indicating that it’s easy for her to feel challenged and getting into power struggles with male or father figures in her life. It’s a combative and frustrating aspect.
She has a lot of planets in her first house which makes it difficult for her to put herself in someone else’s shoes, she could be very self centered or just very focused on only her problems.

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Yes, it's been a very painful situation for me. We used to be very tight and when I see what we become, it makes me want to cry.

She has a very strong and headstrong personality, and she tends to forget that other people also have opinions and feelings of their own. She gets very angry whenever I oppose her or call her out for something she done or said. No matter how trivial it was, she always takes too it too personally and let her emotion get the better of her. She doesn't know how to hold her tongue or even listen. She is in constant defensive mode which makes communication impossible.

quote:

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Originally posted by PlutoWasHere:
When I look at your synastry, I notice the conjunction between your Venus and her Pluto, this triggers her natal Sun square Pluto aspect. Harsh Venus and Pluto aspects (opposition, square and conjunction) are known as love and hate aspects. These type of relationships run deep and cause great transformations. However these transformations can be painful. Your Chiron conjunct her north node does indicate that your relationship has a theme of pain and healing. People need time to grow into their challenging aspects and it’s often only after their Saturn return (around your 28/29th birthday) when people are more mature and get some introspection. Looking at your chart I can see you recently had yours. That’s probably why you’re more triggered to look at what you find acceptable behavior and what’s not. Your sister still has a couple of years to go.

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It is true. Our relationship is constant source of pain and struggle for me. And we do hurt each other often with words, specially when we fight. Deep down, I do love her and this is why this is making me sad. I feel disrespected, belittled and unloved by her.

quote:

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Originally posted by PlutoWasHere:
You and your sister clearly have a deep connection but she’s going through a difficult time that will help her grow through relationships (her north node in 7th house and transit Pluto conjunct her Venus/Neptune conjunction). Transit Saturn is also about to hit her Pisces stellium so she will likely encounter some challenging situations that will push her to become more mature and responsible. She might project her struggles unto you or she might come to you for support. The next few years are probably going to be tough but also will give her the opportunity to grow. My only advice is to keep your boundaries and buckle up for the ride that likely is still to come. She’s going through some serious growing pains and hopefully she’ll come out a more mature person in the end.

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posted August 29, 2022 10:55 PM            

We kind of had the opposite thing going where we didn't get a long growing up, but had a break through when she moved out and we've been like best friends ever since.

Though when we were in our 20's we got into it real bad and didn't talk for 2 months.