posted June 23, 2007 09:09 AM              

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Food for Thought
For those who love the philosophy of ambiguity...
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1 Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things
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2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor....
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3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
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5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is cause he knows where all the bad girls live.
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6. I went to a bookstore and asked the aleswoman,"Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the
purpose.
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7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
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8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
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9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
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10. Is there another word for synonym?
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11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
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12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
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13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
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14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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15 Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
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16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
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17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
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18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
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19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
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20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
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21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
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22. One nice thing about egotists: They don`t talk about other people.
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23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
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24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
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25. How is it possible to have a civil war?
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26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
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27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
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28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?
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30.. Why are hemorrhoids alled "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
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31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
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32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
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33. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?
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34. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God.

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Posts: 14
From: ON Canada
Registered: Apr 2009

posted June 23, 2007 12:03 PM            

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love it!

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posted June 23, 2007 01:54 PM              

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When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their protest signs?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

You know how most packages say "Open here"? What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

Why is lemon juice mainly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemon?

If police arrest a mime, do they tell him/her they have the right to remain silent?

Can a person choke and die on a life savor?

Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day?

Why is it when we duck they call us chicken?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in" but it's only a "penny for your
thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Can you cry under water?

------------------
Welcome to my Blog: The RechargeHouse

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posted June 23, 2007 06:32 PM              

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Some good additions for this list, Moonman!!
Thanks!!

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Posts: 107
From: Chapel Hill, NC, US
Registered: Apr 2009

posted June 23, 2007 11:42 PM            

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posted June 24, 2007 10:35 AM              

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That pic is adorable, Sunshine!!!

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Posts: 107
From: Chapel Hill, NC, US
Registered: Apr 2009

posted June 24, 2007 02:46 PM            

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Ohhh, isn't that the cutest thing ever? Smiling babies are so cute... well, ALL babies are cute, no matter what they're doing.

Sunshine

p.s. I didn't think babies that young could even smile, though I'm not sure how old this one would be - a couple months?

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posted June 24, 2007 06:40 PM              

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Sometimes smiling is a reflex. I just dont know how old the baby is. I have not had a baby of my own for awhile.

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Posts: 1771
From: on the other side of the rainbow
Registered: Apr 2009

posted February 10, 2011 07:18 AM            

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Posts: 1771
From: on the other side of the rainbow
Registered: Apr 2009

posted February 10, 2011 07:18 AM            

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