Sorry to hear about your dilemma. We are visual people around here so putting up a chart (equal houses for me please) will get you much better response. You can put up your synastry and Davison (corrected). You might even want to put up one with the transits on the outside. Or maybe your Solar Return as well if you want to see the issue from all angles.
Astrology aside, people have to work through their own issues. Internal change can never originate from the outside. 🙏