I know the feeling. In my case, I not only considered my special person my best friend ever but my soul mate. If I had handled things a little bit differently, would it have changed? I'm constantly thinking about that.And we're both born in the same year, so that's something too(1992). Perhaps there might be something in our Soul Group about establishing and appreciating connections. As the connections we truly have are few, and they are precious.
For you, my dear friend on this fellow journey on earth I have a special skill that I can use to help you. I'm pretty damn good at rectification. I rectified my own time, and I've rectified other charts too. Using SA/Predictive astrology, it's surprisingly easy to narrow down your time of birth.
All I'd need is the location of the missus in question to put into astro. And tell me some events(that you feel free) to share about her, or even when you two first met.
Those events will allow me to use SA to more accurately pinpoint her time. I'm weary of actually reading the chart as it is now, because that 12:00 time will most likely mess a few things up geometrically by a few degrees.
But yeah, all I need is the state/town location and maybe an event or two to help me figure it out. Then I'll post her rectified chart here along with an analysis for you.