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T O P I C R E V I E Wastro junkieThis, at first, seems like the dumbest question in the world to me, but I've gotten the b@lls to ask. OK...This is a question for those who are (or know someone) who was always skeptical about "everlasting love" and marriage in general. (Sorry to Pisces' who may have trouble here)...Like, when AFTER your mind and heart and soul realizes you are madly in love - do you know of an experience when it really becomes a true reality to you, in the moment after the 3-month romance period has passed - when you say to yourself "OH MY GOD... I feel like a part of me is dying by completely devoting myself to this person..."Like, although you are completely sure you are better together than apart, there is a moment of "painful" realization that you will completely give yourself to this person. I guess, what it must feel like when you get married - there is like a death.It's the death part I'm really trying to focus on. I've never felt this and no wonder beautiful marriages turn into ugly divorces! If you feel a part of yourself has died "for" the person, and then that person leaves you. I really believe I've got a handle on this. But do I?Who of you, always skeptical in love, but fell in love, felt a moment of realization when it feels like a part of you is dying? (No matter what happens afterwards). Just that moment of complete realization and confrontation of fears so deep, you didn't even know you had them.Wisdom please? Pretty please? With sugar on top?Teo TorriatteWoah. thanks for the question AJ, it had me sat here deep in thought for some time.It is a magical feeling, yet also a sinking, sad one. I don't see it as givnig any of myself to the other person, more that I know if necessesary I would do anything for them, anything at all, when I am in love it is boundless and there is nothing I would not do for the person I love, and that is a scary thing. I would conclude that the sinking, death-lke feeling is for me one of fear - fear that I may have got it wrong again and will end up hurt, yet fear of how I will feel if I don't follow my heart and soul and see what happens. Fear of knowing I really would do anything for that person regardless of the outcome for myself. Funny isn't it, it should be a happy time, yet it isn't! I don't have a full answer yet it is still evolving in my head. I would be interested to see what everybody else thinks.I have been wondering a lot about this myself this week, this is synchronicity at its bestxxxTītaniaI feel the worst when we are just parting and we know we won't see each other for a few days.i have a lot of work coming up in the next week or so, and after such a wonderful day yesterday (it was his birthday =), as soon as we parted this morning i felt like crying. it probably doesnt help that the moon is in cancer and i feel all clingy and emotional... so yes, i feel bad when we are parting for the moment. but as far as a death feeling is concerned, i only feel negative energy when i hear a mention of an ex. my god can i be jealous.sthenriGloria, love is trust, so if there is trust then the marriage wll be great. There is no reason to be sad. That's one of the reasons people have a big party and get the confidence boost from family and friends. It's a trust issue, marriage just like making love. But if you can make love to someone you can marry him, it's just a ring and piece of paper after all, but the symbolism is more important than the system.I think when you get sad you think of the machinations of the system which stomp all over the vital forces, the feelings you have. The system of marriage does put a damper on some people but that's because they were never in love in the first place-at least with each other.Boundaries are made up of trust, once you have trust you can marry in the woods with paper crowns and it will be beautiful to you. The ceremony itself is always kind of sad because it's so beautiful, but don't let it dissuade you. The aftermath is usually very nice.A lot of cultures do not use rings btw, because they are seen as ownership, they use crowns. I think that's much more beautiful since you are both equals that way and you don't have to wear a ring. You may want to talk about all those rituals with your significant other, since men really like to have some input that way. That is what you have to trust, lots of people's marriages fall apart at the planning stages and if that's the case, then they don't trust each other.Talking about those rituals will be what you remember most, not the ceremony, since you will see what's most important to him, and vice versa. Your values are what you are expressing to each other in a public way, and you are saying I value this man above all others.Since marriage is value and trust, I wouldn't be sad, since life is about taking a chance, otherwise our lives are flattened out by the machinations of day to day existence.But then my Neptune is in the 12th!Darn life is always getting in the way of a good marriage ceremony!Take Care,NatashasthenriBTW don't relate to my bad experiences, my ex had big financial problems WHEN I married him. So as long as yours does have both feet on the ground in that respect I don't see a problem. He was a great hubby but lousy with life, and very childlike at the same time. Plus he was always eating and blaming others for his weight problem.He was a good Libra, but he had that Gemini Moon, and the Moon conjunct Ascendant in Gemini, and yours has a Capricorn Moon, and Libra Mercury, big difference. He's less moody and more practical. NatashaAquarian GirlI think feeling the "death" as you descibe really isn't a part of love or necessarily marriage. I can tell you I never felt that way when I got married, or even in the first year and a haff when I was still optimistic and hopeful that my dreams would be fulfilled. Never felt that way at all, because I felt that everything was possible WITH my husband. It was only later when everything I wanted was being put on the shelf... that I really deeply felt that I had made too much of a sacrifice... and I think if I had stayed I would have felt a a death of sorts. I would have been very bitter and resentful. But I left him at that point (we are now working things out, still committed to one another... but separated). quote:Like, although you are completely sure you are better together than apart, there is a moment of "painful" realization that you will completely give yourself to this person. I guess, what it must feel like when you get married - there is like a death.I think in a truly happy, supportive marriage there is no "painful realization"... becaus giving yourself completely to someone who truly loves you, selflessly, unconditionally... someone who is supportive of your dreams and not stifling and oppressive... why would there be any reason to feel sad? It's one of the greatest things that can happen to you. The other thing I wanted to say is that... marriage is damned hard work It isn't easy. Although it is fulfilling to get through things and get closer because of all the obstacles you've overcome, the reward is quite bittersweet (and your love for each other much more tender, in my experience). Maybe that's what you're talking about. Anyway, that's my 2 cents. thirteenI had that feeling before I got married. Like Death. It is death, death of a way of life you previously knew. Also, now that 9 years have gone by I feel like that death feeling was because he and I had much karma to work out. It was very, very painful but we did it and now are free to truly love each other.astro junkieThanks -I think the "death" thing I'm trying to pinpoint has more to do with the way Thirteen and Aqua Girl tried to pinpoint. Like a death of your old way of life maybe? And then that's true about having old karma to deal with!! I didn't even think of it that way. And the way I'm trying to explain it is NOT a death in the sense of complete fear of losing something, but more a grieving process which is a necessary part of it. Especially as I define it between at least one person who has been skeptical of "forever after"... that would mean the death of your fear, and all the assumptions that went with something which has been cloaked. Death of the cloak, I guess, because I'm sensing there is something MORE REAL to find...Heart--Shaped CrossI forget who said this:"Marriages do not break up because of things people do to each other, but, because of what they must become in order to stay together."Aquarian Girl quote:I think the "death" thing I'm trying to pinpoint has more to do with the way Thirteen and Aqua Girl tried to pinpoint. Like a death of your old way of life maybe? And then that's true about having old karma to deal with!! I didn't even think of it that way.I understand... but I never felt that. My husband and I had a short courtship, 3 months! I know we have a lot of karma to work through together, when we met there was instant recognition. I remember our first coversation we ever had, I said to him (and really meant it deep down!) "the woman you marry is going to be very lucky to have you, I know you're going to make her really happy"... not knowing that it would be me! Also, I had the strongest urge to take care of him. I don't know where that came from. I just wanted to be the person that took care of him and did everything right by him. Even at the time, I understood this must be a karmic pull. We are both ruled by the number 8 and our lives are peppered by 4's and 8's also. quote:Marriages do not break up because of things people do to each other, but, because of what they must become in order to stay together.Amen! That is the truth, at least in my case. Hopefully this is a wake up call, and not the end for us though.astro junkieThanks...When I read :::"... Also, I had the strongest urge to take care of him. I don't know where that came from. I just wanted to be the person that took care of him and did everything right by him. Even at the time, I understood this must be a karmic pull... "That popped out at me.astro junkieIt's so difficult to even write about it.Is it a different feeling? Different from any other feeling you ever had with anyone else?astro junkie(is it my Venus & Pluto in Virgo which makes me think I'm such a moron about love right now with Merc in Virgo Retrograde)...?lalalindanope, its transiting saturn moving in to conjunct your natal moon (and oppose saturn)astro junkieOh yeah ... it's still THAT thing...
This is a question for those who are (or know someone) who was always skeptical about "everlasting love" and marriage in general. (Sorry to Pisces' who may have trouble here)...
Like, when AFTER your mind and heart and soul realizes you are madly in love - do you know of an experience when it really becomes a true reality to you, in the moment after the 3-month romance period has passed - when you say to yourself "OH MY GOD... I feel like a part of me is dying by completely devoting myself to this person..."
Like, although you are completely sure you are better together than apart, there is a moment of "painful" realization that you will completely give yourself to this person. I guess, what it must feel like when you get married - there is like a death.
It's the death part I'm really trying to focus on. I've never felt this and no wonder beautiful marriages turn into ugly divorces! If you feel a part of yourself has died "for" the person, and then that person leaves you. I really believe I've got a handle on this. But do I?
Who of you, always skeptical in love, but fell in love, felt a moment of realization when it feels like a part of you is dying? (No matter what happens afterwards). Just that moment of complete realization and confrontation of fears so deep, you didn't even know you had them.
Wisdom please? Pretty please? With sugar on top?
I think when you get sad you think of the machinations of the system which stomp all over the vital forces, the feelings you have. The system of marriage does put a damper on some people but that's because they were never in love in the first place-at least with each other.
Boundaries are made up of trust, once you have trust you can marry in the woods with paper crowns and it will be beautiful to you. The ceremony itself is always kind of sad because it's so beautiful, but don't let it dissuade you. The aftermath is usually very nice.
A lot of cultures do not use rings btw, because they are seen as ownership, they use crowns. I think that's much more beautiful since you are both equals that way and you don't have to wear a ring. You may want to talk about all those rituals with your significant other, since men really like to have some input that way. That is what you have to trust, lots of people's marriages fall apart at the planning stages and if that's the case, then they don't trust each other.
Talking about those rituals will be what you remember most, not the ceremony, since you will see what's most important to him, and vice versa. Your values are what you are expressing to each other in a public way, and you are saying I value this man above all others.
Since marriage is value and trust, I wouldn't be sad, since life is about taking a chance, otherwise our lives are flattened out by the machinations of day to day existence.
But then my Neptune is in the 12th!Darn life is always getting in the way of a good marriage ceremony!
Take Care,Natasha
He was a good Libra, but he had that Gemini Moon, and the Moon conjunct Ascendant in Gemini, and yours has a Capricorn Moon, and Libra Mercury, big difference. He's less moody and more practical.
Natasha
quote:Like, although you are completely sure you are better together than apart, there is a moment of "painful" realization that you will completely give yourself to this person. I guess, what it must feel like when you get married - there is like a death.
I think in a truly happy, supportive marriage there is no "painful realization"... becaus giving yourself completely to someone who truly loves you, selflessly, unconditionally... someone who is supportive of your dreams and not stifling and oppressive... why would there be any reason to feel sad? It's one of the greatest things that can happen to you.
The other thing I wanted to say is that... marriage is damned hard work It isn't easy. Although it is fulfilling to get through things and get closer because of all the obstacles you've overcome, the reward is quite bittersweet (and your love for each other much more tender, in my experience). Maybe that's what you're talking about. Anyway, that's my 2 cents.
I think the "death" thing I'm trying to pinpoint has more to do with the way Thirteen and Aqua Girl tried to pinpoint. Like a death of your old way of life maybe? And then that's true about having old karma to deal with!! I didn't even think of it that way. And the way I'm trying to explain it is NOT a death in the sense of complete fear of losing something, but more a grieving process which is a necessary part of it. Especially as I define it between at least one person who has been skeptical of "forever after"... that would mean the death of your fear, and all the assumptions that went with something which has been cloaked. Death of the cloak, I guess, because I'm sensing there is something MORE REAL to find...
"Marriages do not break up because of things people do to each other, but, because of what they must become in order to stay together."
quote:I think the "death" thing I'm trying to pinpoint has more to do with the way Thirteen and Aqua Girl tried to pinpoint. Like a death of your old way of life maybe? And then that's true about having old karma to deal with!! I didn't even think of it that way.
I understand... but I never felt that. My husband and I had a short courtship, 3 months! I know we have a lot of karma to work through together, when we met there was instant recognition. I remember our first coversation we ever had, I said to him (and really meant it deep down!) "the woman you marry is going to be very lucky to have you, I know you're going to make her really happy"... not knowing that it would be me! Also, I had the strongest urge to take care of him. I don't know where that came from. I just wanted to be the person that took care of him and did everything right by him. Even at the time, I understood this must be a karmic pull. We are both ruled by the number 8 and our lives are peppered by 4's and 8's also.
quote:Marriages do not break up because of things people do to each other, but, because of what they must become in order to stay together.
Amen! That is the truth, at least in my case. Hopefully this is a wake up call, and not the end for us though.
When I read :::"... Also, I had the strongest urge to take care of him. I don't know where that came from. I just wanted to be the person that took care of him and did everything right by him. Even at the time, I understood this must be a karmic pull... "
That popped out at me.
Is it a different feeling? Different from any other feeling you ever had with anyone else?
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