Hi Pisceangirl90,I want to add to the feelings, thoughts and warm wishes expressed already on this board by everyone else...I hope that when you read this board again, you will start to feel better knowing that a lot of people care about you and what you are going through...
I also want to say that I think you showed a lot of courage and heart in coming forward to us on this board about this matter. I know from personal experience that it's not always an easy thing to do, but I'm proud of you for taking this step and letting your feelings out.
When I saw this post for the first time, I was touched emotionally, because I went through similar experiences recently: I was in school getting my Master's when I was starting to feel the same way and the coursework was too much. Because this was a Social work school too, assignments with a personal touch were emphasized and I started feeling all the painful emotions of the past. I was also having a lot of personal issues at the time that were emotionally hard to deal with.
I was fortunate to find, however, starting in school that since this was a profession that dealth with feelings it was important to let your feelings be known about anything, including if you could not handle projects or assignments or if you needed extensions with them. I can't tell you how much this helped me because I was so afraid in the beginning to speak up and let others know that I couldn't handle work.
But more than that, when things really became too much to handle, I took a leave, with the encouragement of the school's staff and loved ones. I was so afraid to let them know how awful I was feeling inside, but I just knew that keeping it inside would only make me feel worse and that I was actually encouraged to let my feelings out in this environment. I'm glad I did this; not only did it help me heal through the terrible time I was in, but it helped me know that I was not alone in this and that there truly were people who cared about me, whom I could trust to talk to and who could really help me through this, and they did.
Let your feelings out with those who love you and will truly understand you...even with your close friend, whom I sense from what you wrote, is someone who really loves you deep down.
Take it a step at a time: Just let someone know, like you did on this board, how you are feeling right now. I understand it can be hard to talk about everything, but just let someone know how you feel. Once you talk to others who understand and care and whom you trust, you may feel like talking more. Write in a journal, or a diary...draw pictures--anything to let your feelings out. Writing has helped me a lot get out sad feelings--thanks so much to the encouragement of a friend who also went through a similar situation.
Above all, take care of yourself, because you do matter and do things that honor who you are.
I hope you feel better, and although all this is easier said than done, I know and have faith that you'll get through this time.
LeapofFaith