Hey Peace Angel! Sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time. I am a newbie myself and having difficulty looking at charts or least understanding the mathemical patterns behind the charts. Do you understand the mathemical patterns behind the charts? For me, I look at the patterns above the horizon of the chart. Here's something that is touching for me in difficult times - reminder from Ehtearel Angel by plethora that is within yet without charts: Ehtearel Angel by Plethora (Venus trine Pluto romantic understanding of eoens long ago)
"When I get lonely, I wanna let you in, cause your love means more than anything I've known before....
"Will you always be the woman for me? Who will always be, waiting there for me....Yes, I will always be, the woman for you who will always be there for you. Reminder of Twinn Souls...
Prayers and Hugs