Please remember my friend Lisa and her family and friends, including me when saying your prayers today as I just found out last night that she took her life night before last. She was going through a divorce and apparently the demon named Depression was too strong for her spirit...I have tossed and turned all night and my thoughts have raced today while trying to work about how this beautiful, funny, caring soul is no longer on this earth...and it's brought to light some very painful memories of my own while dealing with that demon myself when my divorce was happening. This demon is one that cannot be toyed with, cannot be taken lightly, cannot be shunned and cannot be ignored. He is very powerful and his talons are long and fierce as they reach inside your heart and mind and wreck havoc there.
And in thinking of my own experiences, I have thought and thought how this could have easily been me...how my family would be together grieving and asking why...how my friends would be like me, at work, but numb from grief and shock...and wondering how we didn't see it...or how we chose to ignore it...and how we didn't help. But how do you help, if you don't know? Like myself, I feel like during the day she was an actress, eyeing an Academy award for her performance of being "normal" but at night, in the darkness, he creeps..he walks around your bedroom and he whispers to you. His whispers are like thunder at times in your ears...telling you that you are not worthy...you aren't worthy to be loved, that you are ugly, inside and out, that you are all the things he knows cuts you...when in reality you aren't those things.
But fighting him off without the help of a higher power at times is very difficult...in my situation anyway. I don't really know where Lisa stood with those thoughts, but for me, if it were not for me calling out to God to save me in those depths of night, I wouldn't be here either.
And this is very frightening to me today.
Thank you so much for reading...
Amanda