This one is resisting you, ID.
Clearly it needs a fight.
My notes. They are plentiful. This is really one to get the astrological muscles stretched.
You were on the talk-show circuit for '50 Shades'? You're sure to get invites for that when the movie comes out and they start milking that s*** for every penny it's worth. You being a rational person, I'd want to advise to stay as far away as possible for the sake of your sanity and faith in humanity, but we do need people with more knowledge about it than 1/5 of a wiki article out there. So.
I speak BDSM. I see what you're saying.
Your synastry is really interesting.
I'll start with a brief note on his natal. Things that jump out:
Moon/BML oppossite Mars/Lilith. What an incredibly obvious theme. Nymphe and Eros close-by. All in Aries.
The Aries configurations shows a sexuality that is very simple in a way. Or, rather, not too out of the normal. All together, all in Fire, no big mystery, right? But so many subversive stoppers for this Moon. In Draconic, they would all be in mid-late Pisces. Relevant for later.
That Chiron is just, woah. I look at it and I feel pain by proxy. Chiron on 29PIS50, right on the intimate, soft point of IC. That is a Chiron that just wants to die. And progressing toward Saturn. Check his prog to see where it is now. Moves slowly so I don't think it's there yet but it should have moved into orb by now. I mentioned Draconic in the previous paragraph for this purpose. In Draconic, geoChiron would be on the NN(0°10' orb). Draconic Saturn to Eros would all be in Pisces, "leading" to geoChiron at the end. So that's pretty relevant. There are probably more telling things in his Draco, if you ever find the time, maybe take a look.
Nice Fire Grand Trine of Jupiter-Saturn-AC. A man capable of taking care of business.
Sun in H8 inconjunct to AC. (I have this exact same one myself, even the same relative position inside H8)
The business sense is smooth as per the GT, but where is he? Observing this whole thing, focusing intensely on keeping things together and all the time fighting with Saturn. H8 Sun in Water with a Fire Saturn from H4 is a very "never good enough" aspect.
(I have this with Jupiter in Saturn's place in mine.)
I just had a conversation the other day on this subforum with LeeLoo about the order of bodies in a house and how they might "unlock" the house in order. Look at his H7: Nessus, Lust, Valentine, in that order. I mean, that's very Dom, isn't it?
Pluto and Uranus in Virgo, ruler of sign and ruler of house both in H8.
To me, the first word that comes to mind about this person is "shrewd". Shrewd businessman, penetrating intellect, the type that watches and observes and "plots", but never reveals what he's really thinking. He might look quiet and peaceful, but in his mind things are developing 5, 6 steps ahead already, parallel stories running their courses. Relies on himself and no one else.
Looking at your chart, your Chiron is really, really interesting to me. You have a huge concentration in the AC-IC quarter(compare his - none), and then Neptune and Venus as singletons in adjecent quarters. But in the opposite quarter? No planets. Just Chiron. So self-inside is loaded and in "complex signs", others-outside is bare and in "simple signs". I addressed this already as a possible clue for a lack of interest for the physicality of sex.
Oh yes, the Draco synastry is interesting.
In geo synastry, we've already spoken of the Mars-Moon thing but I don't think I've mentioned the connection between his Moon opp. Mars and your conjunction, that's a big one.
I'm going back to the composite because that's really interesting to me.
Uranus(with Destinn) on the AC speaks of a relationship whose purpose it is to shake things up, challenge norms, challenge what you thought about yourself. Notice how it's in the last degree of the chart, making it 29Pisces and thus resonating with his Chiron. Pluto&Vesta in H12 would bring issues of sexuality to H12.
To me, in BDSM, Vesta is the energy of a sub, Saturn is that of the Dom, while Pluto is the whole "color", representation of BDSM. Moon is relevant to all, that's the well of the whole thing, but Vesta "wears the Moon mask", so to speak. So for clues, we're looking primarily at Pluto, Vesta, Saturn and Moon.
Talking still about the Pluto/Vesta in composite, natally, you have your Saturn and Juno there. He has that point opposed to his natal Chiron. The cPluto/cVesta conjunction is trine cEros. Clues, clues, clues.
That point is also widely square his nSun and trine the cMoon.
So we see that Pluto and Vesta are together. What are Saturn and Moon doing? Saturn is on 7Cancer. His Sun is on 8Cancer, you can't get a bigger clue - that's him. What about the Moon? No contacts to 8Aqu in any chart, so our only clue is your name asteroid. So you would be embodying the Moon here. Does this make sense to you?
Here's what seems like the peak to me.
For the last thing, I was looking at the most "purpose"-relevant thing in the composite. What's going to tell us the entire purpose of this thing? NN, plain and "simple". So, where is it? 27Sag. I'm allowing a 5° orb, as it's important. What's in your natal around 27Sag? Nothing. In his? Nothing. Ridiculous, impossible, I'm thinking. Has to be something.
And there it is, your Draco. Chiron on 29Sag. The lonely, retro Chiron, opposing all kinds of things(if you allow a large orb, I think other than Eros, Lilith, Moon, Mars, Uranus, you'll find A LOT of "sexual" midpoints there).
Where does it fall in his chart? House of work. No wonder it was distracting you.
This relationship has a lot of things going on, but a big one is definitely your Chirons trying to get out and find a voice that's eluded them. Sorry if that's a bit too flowery, the whole thing just strikes me as so poetic.