I have thought tons about the Saturn/Mars question...I think Saturn has to go somewhere in synastry and Saturn is placed where your chart can tolerate it. I prefer someone's Saturn conjuncting my planets in general because my own Saturn is conj my South Node and the apex of a yod in my chart. When someone's planets directly conjunct my Saturn, it seems to be separative and also, squares my Sun/Pluto and quincunxes my jupiter and neptune.) Yuck!!!I have attracted Saturn conj my Mars in Taurus. (I have retro Mars sext Saturn natally.) I prefer Saturn conj Mars rather than opposite it.
The Saturn connection is usually in lower degrees of Taurus (My Mars is 8 Taurus.) I have never attracted it later than 6 or so degrees, then it starts opposing my Moon at 12 Scorp too directly or getting close to opposing my Venus (18 Scorp).
Saturn conj my Venus is also ok (I have venus sesqui-square Saturn which I never even realized) but I do NOT like Saturn opposite my Venus! It is very unlucky financially (I'm an artsy financial person with Moon conj Venus) so Saturn later in Taurus opposite my Venus in my 8th house really frustrates me & typically, the person shows up with a really condescending or usery and it's always to my disadvantage.
I was looking at three charts of my best girlfriends - all married and in relationships for 15-20 years.
In each of these, they have Saturn/Mars aspects going one if not both ways. (All three girlfriends are born same year as me and all have Saturn/Mars aspects natally, two have Mars in Taurus (the other in Pisces.)
S&T
Her Saturn in Gem opp his Mars in Sag (orb 3)
His Saturn in Gem square her Mars in Pisces (orb 6 - she has this natally too, they're close in age.)
His Saturn exactly conj her Sun & sextile her Moon & trine her Jupiter.
Composite Moon conj Saturn, Mars trine Saturn and many other soft trines sextiles.
No children
They have been best friends since the first day of college but it took them about 5+ years to get together as a couple. I think she was in love with him right away but it took longer for him to come around.
K&S
His Saturn conj her ASC/Mars in Taurus & sextile her Moon
Her Saturn in Cancer square his Mars/Chiron (Aries)
Her Saturn trine his Jupiter & Square his Uranus
Don't know his ASC/chart angles
Saturns sextile
Composite saturn opp neptune and loosely opposite sun/mercury conj. They also have sun loosely conj Jupiter & Moon conj Venus
comp saturn trine pluto & inconjunct venus
She admits he complains he doesn't get as much sex as he'd like and he works more than she'd like. They've had some bumps but love each other very much.
They have two children.
B&B
Her Saturn in Cancer opp his Mars in Capricorn (orb 4), trine his Pisces Sun
His Saturn trine her Mercury (she's a Virgo) & loosely conj her Moon. His Saturn in her 5th, inconjunct her ASC
Their Mars exactly trine
His Mars sextile her Venus
His Jupiter in her 1st house
Composite Saturn opposite Venus/Merc (orb 7)
and comp saturn opp Sun going in other direction (orb 8.)
comp saturn trine uranus
His Mars conj her North Node
Her ASC conj his North Node
They met working abroad. He was engaged to someone else originally. They were friends for a long time and eventually got together. They were also separated at the beginning of their relationship when they came back to the States due not being able to get jobs in the same location but eventually, it all came together. They have 1 child
With the guy I been seeing...
His Saturn in Taurus conj my Mars (orb 2) in my 8th and opp my Moon (orb 6)
My Saturn loosely opp his Mars in Cappy (orb almost 8)
His Mars in Cap (saturn ruled) trine his own Saturn
My Mars in Taurus sext Saturn natally
The sex is pretty good because our Mars are trine, his Mars sextile my Moon and Venus
& his VE/MA midpoint is conjunct both my Moon and Venus.
(but if we fight or get off track, yes, the sex can definitely suffer!)
His Saturn is also inconjunct my Sun
My Saturn is also square his Sun/Moon MP (also conj my ASC, Sun/Pluto)
my Saturn square his Chiron
Pretty sure my Saturn sextile his ASC.
Our saturns are sextile (orb 2)
I do feel loyal to him and feel like I could easily commit. And I think the Mars/Saturn connection does help with sexual fidelity. (Mars in Taurus can be a bit of a pleasure-lovin' ho' - lol!!!) His Jupiter/Sun conjunction in Libra is in my first house which I think helps to offset the Saturn and we have some quirky Uranian aspects for excitement.
When we met, there was insane attraction and then we began bumping heads almost immediately. He wanted to take things more slowly, I wanted to zoom ahead. He was cooling off and originally cutting and critical, I was really eager and frustrated. He wanted to be in control to a ridiculous degree and well...I learned to let him.
At one point, we didn't see each other for several months but we still talked a lot on the phone. In that time, I learned him a lot better and he has really chilled out. These days, our rapport is much better but it hasn't changed our external schedules or his hesitancy completely.
We've been on/off for 9 months. He has been wayyyy more hesitant to get into a full-time relationship buuuut...he doesn't want to let go either.
Also, we have Mars Square Saturn (wide orb of almost 5) which I've heard could be the kiss of death. Both of us are pretty Uranian and that is also reflected in the composite which could be doing it.
We have Mars on DESC square Jupiter (orb 1). Mars also loosely Squares Saturn in 9th getting closer to MC.
What I have noticed in composite with mutual Mars/Saturn aspects is...if you have a conjunction and a square, you'll get trine in the composite.
But...if you have a mars/saturn conjunction and then an opposition, you'll likely get the SQUARE in composite which why...sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't.
Just food for thought. When you talk about Saturn aspects, you have to take into account the individual charts.
Saturn is the glue and the karma piece but for the full sensation of "destiny" that keeps folks feeling it's all worthwhile, you also need the natal nodes, chart angles, sun/moon midpoint, etc. And beyond the synastry, you need a supportive composite.
Dang! It's complicated ain't it??!