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T O P I C R E V I E WAntiquarianbookcollectorI've experienced a multitude of problems and concerns surrounding this area lately. Deciding whether I am on the right path in my career has been in the forefront. Further, thinking that my goals and dreams are unrealistic and silly have been looming over my head but that's probably because my family hasn't really approved of them. Further, my family places immense value of money and equated that to self-worth. That idea influences negatively and my financial situation is precarious and I'm scared that I won't have money to pay off all my debt. Therefore, my self-worth/esteem/confidence has been really low.My question to you all is how do you balance these in your life? Are you happy to have a job even though you detest it? Would the amount of money define who you are? I guess I am just feeling a bit empty at the moment... Thank you for your advice.LEXXHopefully others will be able to give you good helpful advice on all that. Rest of post deleted, I should not have ranted here. AntiquarianbookcollectorI'm sorry that I'm bringing up topics that hit so close to home for you. My hope is that your situation gets better! Best wishes.LEXXNo apologies please! It is good to post such things!I keep most of my stuff to myself which further fuels my depression and makes me feellost and overwhelmed. But I have to keep a front of strength because others close to me are even closer to the edge. One has terminal cancer, one has seizure inducing headaches/cause unknown, and others in bad straits. There are times though when I want to say OK,fine, let's all jump off the cliff together.Yippie.~sigh~I sincerely hope your situations improves! It is not just you, nor I.So many folks all over are having such troubles.Are you in the USA? Or elsewhere?AntiquarianbookcollectorYes, I live in the States but my wish is to move somewhere else. My feeling living in the States is like a guest overstaying their welcome. Doesn't feel like home. What about you?LEXXI do not feel at home here either.Have looked into immigrating out of the states, but do not pass the qualifications tests/requirements to allow me to go live elsewhere.------------------Everyone is a teacher...Everyone is a student...Learning is eternal.}><}}(*>AntiquarianbookcollectorLexx, if you want to talk about anything, I would be happy to listen. It's never good to bottle up your emotions. LEXXThank you so much for your kind offer. If I thought it would help I would.However I cannot afford a meltdown/emotional purging at this time.Would not be wise.------------------Everyone is a teacher...Everyone is a student...Learning is eternal.}><}}(*>AntiquarianbookcollectorWell, here's a big hug. Hope things get better for you. I just saw your pictures and you're so lovely, much more attractive than me.LEXXThank you. I thought I was ugly back then.Those are old pics. (I was 24 then)Almost 3 decades ago.(yikers! Some 4 1/2 years before you were born!)I don't look like that any longer, pushing 55and disabled, takes its toll on one's looks.My hair is my last good feature.Where are your pics? ------------------Everyone is a teacher...Everyone is a student...Learning is eternal.}><}}(*>AntiquarianbookcollectorI didn't post any pictures. Too scared. Not attractive at all.LEXXAwwwww....I would love to see your pics.If you want, you can share privately.My e-mail is on the main page of this forum.I am pretty sure I am the heaviest here, and the only hunchbacked bearded "woman". I seriously doubt you look worse than I do.------------------Everyone is a teacher...Everyone is a student...Learning is eternal.}><}}(*>Fases De La LunaHi Antiquarianbookcollector,I think a lot of people come to these career crossroads at some point. It has helped me to sit, analyse what i really want to do, the way in which i am uniquely gifted and try to see what career options that leaves me. Its not going to always be supported but trying to please anyone else is also a losing battle.As for money and self worth, its society's way of identifying with something or the other. Some people confuse their identity with being partners in a relationship or as parents, as their career designations etc. So when these don't work out, there is an identity crisis of sorts. It is really hard to break out of the mould when you're subconsciously conditioned. I think most of us cave in and give in to keeping jobs that aren't really our thing, to pay the bills. I admire people like Robert Kiyosaki (Rich Dad, Poor Dad Series author) who had the courage to not do that. To answer your question, as i said above, i've been trying to consciously break away in baby steps. I try to not live in debt. This is by separating my needs from my wants and allowing myself the occassional, affordable luxuries. I don't own credit cards (despite the bank giving them to us for free when we open an account and no charges for the first year) and spend based on what i can afford with money i do have.I do not place satisfaction in material acquisitions, rather i try and focus more on comfort. That way, while i live in a comfortable house, own a comfortable car, its always what is within my means not even what i can afford so i try to save something aside.Dearest LEXX, sorry to hear things aren't great, I pray that things change for the better and you are graced with strength to deal. From your posts that i do read, i believe you are a remarkable woman & your take on life - to be thinking of people in worse situations - is remarkable. Your lexigramming skills are awesome.And i think your old pics are beautiful LEXX.EDITED TO ADD: LEXX, just read prayers are not your thing so sorry about that, i hope you feel better.mys-elf13I can understand the feelings of worth with relation to money. I am working on supporting my two kids when I have not worked in 8 years. I have been a stay at home mom. I am gay. My ex adopted the kids. The law looks at her as equal parent but not me as a financial equal in this relationship. Whatever she earned is hers. If she wants to share beyond child support that is her decision...With that background on me - I have been feeling like how am I going to do this on my own. I have a job I like that is steady and it pays well. The job is not me It is not my career - it is what I do because I have to right now.My self-definition is not what I do. my worth extends well beyond the amount of money I make and how I make it. In some of my darker moments when I feel scared of the what is, I remember who I am, what I am. I am kind, compassionate, loving, intense, stubborn. My value resides in how I treat others and myself. I would go to great lengths to ensure my kids well being. I actually thought of pole dancing. It is great excercise and good money but the hours suck and the clientele can be ify. I find that doing what I would need to do to make ends meet out of love is part of my worth. Love is the key there. Many people would frown upon my choice but my life is my life not theirs. Who we are is not the amount of money we make or have. So Paris Hilton has a ton of money - does that make her a better person? Is she a more worthy person because she has all that money? Money, the job are externals. Worth is internal. LEXX - My thoughts are with you. I read in another forum that prayers p*ss you off so I'll keep those.------------------"Once in a while you can get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right" Robert HunterAntiquarianbookcollectorThank you for the advice! Even though this job is not my cup of tea, it is a step in the path I need to take. I will try to muster up the motivation to make progress. Hopefully, I can succeed. AntiquarianbookcollectorOkay, scratch the last post. This job is NOT for me.hippichickI like this thread, cause I have quesitoned such things as well.I have found, personally, that we all walk our paths, exactly as we should and maybe, certain nudgings from the universe come our way, from time to time to encourage us to take another path.I do not think success (per US terms) is relfective of real, personal success....how many financially successful individuals are horribly unhappy, unfullfilled?Personally, I love my job as a RN. I make good money, but I have issues with where I practice and I have issues with healthcare in general, but I see my "job" as my contribution to the workings of the universe..a tithe, my place to go 36 hours a week and pay my debt to the human condition.My be-loved on the other hand is on disability, but he shares and contributes in his own way, just as much as I do. Surely what he attratcs financially is far, far less than what I do, but I see us as equal in our contributions to all that is.He is a muscian and together with the other band members they make people smile, relax, etc....They work largely for no money, just to have a good time and share music.So, it is all relative, it is priceless to be happy in one's chosen vocation, but all things in life contribute and none are anyless than another.Randall*bump*------------------"Everything I eat has been proved by some doctor or other to be a deadly poison, and everything I don't eat has been proved to be indispensable for life. But I go marching on."--George Bernard ShawLEXXAntiquarianbookcollector Are you still around? Thank you for the bump Randall! ------------------Everyone is a teacher...Everyone is a student...Learning is eternal...LEXX~Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. ~Carl Sagan~The present time is theirs, but the future is mine. ~Nikola Tesla"~Love is the key to all that is good in life!~But firstly, love thyself!}><}}(*>♥<*){{><{♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥Randall ------------------"Everything I eat has been proved by some doctor or other to be a deadly poison, and everything I don't eat has been proved to be indispensable for life. But I go marching on."--George Bernard Shaw
My question to you all is how do you balance these in your life? Are you happy to have a job even though you detest it? Would the amount of money define who you are? I guess I am just feeling a bit empty at the moment... Thank you for your advice.
Rest of post deleted, I should not have ranted here.
------------------Everyone is a teacher...Everyone is a student...Learning is eternal.}><}}(*>
I think a lot of people come to these career crossroads at some point.
It has helped me to sit, analyse what i really want to do, the way in which i am uniquely gifted and try to see what career options that leaves me. Its not going to always be supported but trying to please anyone else is also a losing battle.
As for money and self worth, its society's way of identifying with something or the other. Some people confuse their identity with being partners in a relationship or as parents, as their career designations etc. So when these don't work out, there is an identity crisis of sorts. It is really hard to break out of the mould when you're subconsciously conditioned.
I think most of us cave in and give in to keeping jobs that aren't really our thing, to pay the bills. I admire people like Robert Kiyosaki (Rich Dad, Poor Dad Series author) who had the courage to not do that.
To answer your question, as i said above, i've been trying to consciously break away in baby steps. I try to not live in debt. This is by separating my needs from my wants and allowing myself the occassional, affordable luxuries. I don't own credit cards (despite the bank giving them to us for free when we open an account and no charges for the first year) and spend based on what i can afford with money i do have.
I do not place satisfaction in material acquisitions, rather i try and focus more on comfort. That way, while i live in a comfortable house, own a comfortable car, its always what is within my means not even what i can afford so i try to save something aside.
Dearest LEXX, sorry to hear things aren't great, I pray that things change for the better and you are graced with strength to deal. From your posts that i do read, i believe you are a remarkable woman & your take on life - to be thinking of people in worse situations - is remarkable. Your lexigramming skills are awesome.
And i think your old pics are beautiful LEXX.
EDITED TO ADD: LEXX, just read prayers are not your thing so sorry about that, i hope you feel better.
With that background on me - I have been feeling like how am I going to do this on my own. I have a job I like that is steady and it pays well. The job is not me It is not my career - it is what I do because I have to right now.
My self-definition is not what I do. my worth extends well beyond the amount of money I make and how I make it. In some of my darker moments when I feel scared of the what is, I remember who I am, what I am. I am kind, compassionate, loving, intense, stubborn. My value resides in how I treat others and myself.
I would go to great lengths to ensure my kids well being. I actually thought of pole dancing. It is great excercise and good money but the hours suck and the clientele can be ify. I find that doing what I would need to do to make ends meet out of love is part of my worth. Love is the key there. Many people would frown upon my choice but my life is my life not theirs.
Who we are is not the amount of money we make or have. So Paris Hilton has a ton of money - does that make her a better person? Is she a more worthy person because she has all that money?
Money, the job are externals. Worth is internal.
LEXX - My thoughts are with you. I read in another forum that prayers p*ss you off so I'll keep those.
------------------"Once in a while you can get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right" Robert Hunter
I have found, personally, that we all walk our paths, exactly as we should and maybe, certain nudgings from the universe come our way, from time to time to encourage us to take another path.
I do not think success (per US terms) is relfective of real, personal success....how many financially successful individuals are horribly unhappy, unfullfilled?
Personally, I love my job as a RN. I make good money, but I have issues with where I practice and I have issues with healthcare in general, but I see my "job" as my contribution to the workings of the universe..a tithe, my place to go 36 hours a week and pay my debt to the human condition.
My be-loved on the other hand is on disability, but he shares and contributes in his own way, just as much as I do. Surely what he attratcs financially is far, far less than what I do, but I see us as equal in our contributions to all that is.
He is a muscian and together with the other band members they make people smile, relax, etc....They work largely for no money, just to have a good time and share music.
So, it is all relative, it is priceless to be happy in one's chosen vocation, but all things in life contribute and none are anyless than another.
------------------"Everything I eat has been proved by some doctor or other to be a deadly poison, and everything I don't eat has been proved to be indispensable for life. But I go marching on."--George Bernard Shaw
Thank you for the bump Randall! ------------------Everyone is a teacher...Everyone is a student...Learning is eternal...LEXX~Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. ~Carl Sagan~The present time is theirs, but the future is mine. ~Nikola Tesla"~Love is the key to all that is good in life!~But firstly, love thyself!}><}}(*>♥<*){{><{♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
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