T O P I C R E V I E W |
bombshell | I posted a few days ago about a prolonged silence b/w myself (a taurus) and a libra. Quick recap: after dating his friend for 6 years i fell in love with him. Nothing has ever happened- just a lot of talking back and forth, sometimes 24/7 usually followed by a resolution to just not speak to each other...days/weeks/months later someone always cracks so we decide to try the 'friend' thing but then i usually crack and say the feelings are there, and so the cycle continues. After a few harsh words in early january i was silent for 3 weeks after which he attempted a hello but i brushed it off. Approx. 3 weeks later i cracked and decided to tell him how upset i was about wat was said. We both apologized to eachother. He asked if i still had feelings for him and i said no- that i wanted to be able to love someone without restrictions. (My ex has a very tight knit group of friends so he would lose all his friends if he went for me. Also, my ex still loves and is in love with me and i don't want to hurt him). He replied with "oh, i'm sure u'll find someone then". I could sense maybe he was hurt so i explained that i felt that way for him but that it was unreasonable of me. He said there was nothing he could do, and that he never rejected me, and if it weren't for the friends he would seriously consider something with me. That was the most of his feelings he's ever revealed to me, other than saying he was torn on what to do. But i know for a fact he has feelings for me because he always cracks and starts talking to me, the way he looks in my eyes, how he sat out in the rain with his computer stealing his neighbours internet when his was down just to talk to me and then getting sick... I DO have feelings for him. I lied. But i also know i need to be able to love someone and that i should probably just try to move on (this has dragged on a year and a half!). We ended the convo agreeing we were still friends. BUT I miss him desperately! I miss our week long conversations, i miss feeling comfortable and understood with him, and i just want to shower him with affection. I'm trying not to lose it as a usually do and give him space. i.e. Even though i see him on msn i haven't msgd. My hope is that he'll come to me-SOMEHOW. What do you all think?! Thanks for listening! |
fieryscales | To be honest with you, you need to move on and have no communication with him ( I know others will disagree). Because, if you agreed to be friends, everytime you speak or see him, you are going to want something more with him and it is going to hurt ( I have been down that road many times). The best thing is to let him go and carry on with your life. |
bombshell | :,( I know you are right... If he was every other guy after me then i would. I don't know what makes me able to open up to him and not others and i think that is why i feel so much loss. In my 6 yr relationship I could have his arms around me and feel alone, but with this guy i could be at opposite ends of the table and feel soothed by his presence. He felt the same about me. I guess, as a taurus, i have this strong urge to prevail even if it takes a long time. I guess i am crossed whether it would be more effective to tell him i miss him or to wait for him to come to me. The difference this time compared to other times being that he knows i love him (not relationship love but love) and i think its obvious there is a lot there. Thanks for your honesty fieryscales! I appreciate it so much! |
fieryscales | Hi Bombshell If there is one thing in a person's life that should be done,it is to be the first to make the move ( in whatever it is). So, tell him you miss him before it is too late ( feel like I am contradicting what I said earlier on hehe). BTW, I am a male Libra too |
Azalaksh | It's mind-boggling that you two are allowing your *EX* and your *FRIENDS* to keep you both from becoming involved with someone you love..... |
bombshell | Hi everyone! Fieryscales- you libra boys LOVE the girl (or boy i guess) to make the first move! And i definitely did by putting my hurt aside and clearing the air. I'm just scared to push him over the edge. I read on this forum that libras need to make you want them a little bit. That you need to play a tug of war- i wonder how true this is? Azalaksh- my ex is still in my life because i care for him and his family. This group of friends has been together for years (we've traveled together, party together still- i know a little screwed up these days- libra and i just kinda act normal). I've definitely minimized spending time with the group and i actually live in another province for school so its manageable. But i'm graduating in a few months and possibly coming back for good... which is why i see there is still this tension trying to 'wait and see'... also, on this board, i've learned that the worst thing u can do to a libra is tell him to pick you over his friends. Especially since i'm the one living far, and wouldn't even be here for him (i'm currently visiting for a few weeks), i especially knew he'd need his friends. He also studies with some of them and sees them on a daily basis. I hope that clarifies things a little! Thanks! |
bombshell | p.s. Fieryscales- you libras ARE contradictions...lovely contradictions though.... |
fieryscales | In my experience, I am the ONE to make the first move, sometimes with bad effects. I would love it if someone made the first move, rather then me, hehe.Bombshell, may I ask where currently you are residing, ie what country you in? |
bombshell | Canada! |
bombshell | And yourself Fieryscales?! |
fieryscales | South Africa, but hoping to emigrate to the USA by the end of the year. |
bombshell | Oh la la! My dream is to go to Africa! Someday! |
bombshell | Does anyone else have any words of wisdom for winning with a libra? I'm a taurus, I KNOW it's possible- it's just a matter of time and strategy! I know many on here have learned from their experiences- would be so grateful if you'd share them with me! Merci! |
fieryscales | I have personally never dated a Taurus but at the end of the day, it's not only just about the sign, it's the personality. |
bunnies | Well I am no expert but I think fiery might be right but perhaps for a different reason. I have many adorable Libran friends but the one thing they ALL hate to do is make a descision (well, it may be the wrong one and then it would be their fault and people would get hurt and if only they hadn't made that descision, perhaps they should have made the other one, why were they made to choose at all...........you get the picture? So what I tend to do with them, is tell them exactly how it's going to be. Then I ask them if they disagree. Then they shrug and go...whatever So now I have taken responsibility for the descision and they feel comforted.So! Plant those solid Taurean legs (metaphorically) and tell him exactly how you feel. Tell him you have decided you should be together. He might look a tad disconcerted. Ignore it. It's just them doing the "shouldn't I have an input here?" bit. If he says No? You are now released to plow your furrow elsewhere knowing you have done all you could. That in itself is liberating. And know that if it's not now, if you are meant to be together, trust me you will. But in the meantime, make a lovely new life for yourself and refuse to think about the "if onlys" Good luck sweetie x |
MysticMelody | Life is too short. |
bombshell | Thank you all for your replies! Fiery- personality definitely is a big part of it- thats where this whole situation began, over a year (or more) before i ever knew he was a libra! Mystic- those words are encouraging! Bunnies- thanks so much for the real life examples. That is exactly how i feel about the situation, but sometimes his confusion/don't i get input reactions put me off. I will try to be tough and tell him what needs to be done! hehehehe Warm Regards, Bombshell |
fieryscales | I wish you Love and Happiness whichever path you choose between you and the Libra. |
bombshell | awwwwwww thank you! that means a lot to me! |
bombshell | sorry! double-posted! |