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T O P I C R E V I E WFennecfoxI'm a Pisces woman and was in a great relationship with a Cancer man. We had been really close friends for many years and then liked eachother on and off for over two years (talk about exhausting) but finally I gathered up the guts to tell him how I felt. He said he felt the same way.As we were dating we had a great time in eachothers company. I felt like I could tell him anything! Things were moving along and we met eachothers parents and I absolutely adored his family. His mom was a sweetheart and his dad was hilarious. I was so happy!Then suddenly I started getting the cold shoulder, I assumed that you know, maybe he's having an off few days. After a week of this odd behavior I began to get really worried, and asked him several times what's going on? did I upset you? But I just kept getting blown off. I felt really hurt but I didn't want to say anything. I avoided overreacting and tried to not annoy him. This kept happening for the next 4 weeks!I randomly get a text saying we need to talk. I asked what was going on and he replies with "I want to go back to being just friends" and I love him so much and want him to be happy so that kinda was the end of it.I feel so badly because I feel like I wasn't good enough or that I messed up and did something wrong. But we never got into a fight and he claims I did nothing wrong. I just really want things to be like they were. Im struggling with this because I've never been rejected before and...I want to fix it with every fiber of my heart.I know that I can give him what he needs, and I'm more willing than anyone to give him happiness.Does anyone have any tips for getting him back? Or if I'm completely wrong and not able to get him back, how can I move on? RandallWelcome!------------------"Fall down 100 times, get up 101...this is success." --MEhippichickIt sounds like you did nothing wrong.Us Pisces women are always wanting to blame ourselves when something goes wrong with a man.Water and Water are hard..dated a Cancer, cold not get rid of him, TEN years later still cant.(stalker)I am an old Pisces woman now, but I re-cognize me in you as a young Pisces woman...again always blaming myself.You cant "get" a man back, IF he wants you he will go get you.blessinst~RunAroundScreamingWater and Water is hard.Hard to let go, and both can be clingy and co-dependent (which only brings them close of course haha unfortunately)Swift FreezeSometimes loving someone, is like a parent loving a child.No matter how much you love them, no matter that you would do anything for them, that you would do anything to see them happy, that you would give them anything they need. They will turn around and that smile will break your heart, because you know they will never love you as much as you love them.I'm not trying to be negative, it's just a thought I had. I know I will never love my parents the same way they love me. I love them deeply, but they have spent so many years, raising me, watching me grow and flourish into the person I am today.I am deeply sorry for the pain you are in. I know how much it hurts.They will probably sound like empty words, but please believe me when I say, you are not the problem, you are good enough, you didn't mess up. I've been there, I have felt exactly the same way you do. I have thought so much about what I could have done differently, or what I didn't do. In the end what I finally realised, was that none of these issues were mine. I am who I am, I did what I did. They leave for their own reasons, and their own issues. As sad as that may be, and as much as it hurts, there is nothing I could have done, that would have changed the outcome. There is nothing wrong with me. But that doesn't make it hurt any less. Time goes by, and time goes by.I don't have any tips for getting him back, because I have never succeeded. I feel Hippichick has it right. If it was meant to be, and he decides he does want to be with you. Then he will eventually make his way back to you.I can't really help you move on either. I can only say, live your life for yourself. Try and do things that you find fun and interesting, take up something new. Most importantly, don't neglect your friends, they will always be there for you if you have chosen them well.P.S Welcome, and congratulations on being an even better lurker than I am quote:Originally posted by GypseeWind:I stumbled across this one a little bit ago.. maybe it will soothe you too, for awhile. http://tinybuddha.com/blog/be-gentle-with-yourself-when-dealing-with-heartbreak/ ------------------Learn lots. Don't judge. Laugh for no reason. Be nice. Seek Happiness. Follow your dreams.LionFishI'm a Pisces woman who dated a Cancer guy for about 5 years. It wasn't a pretty relationship, but I still loved him desperately while we were together, even through abuse and cheating I still loved him.My best advice to you here, seeing as how you did nothing wrong, would be to do your best to move on. If he wants you, he will come back to you in time. If not, you don't need him. I know the anguish feels overwhelming now, but give it time. :hug: best wishes to you hun
We had been really close friends for many years and then liked eachother on and off for over two years (talk about exhausting) but finally I gathered up the guts to tell him how I felt. He said he felt the same way.
As we were dating we had a great time in eachothers company. I felt like I could tell him anything! Things were moving along and we met eachothers parents and I absolutely adored his family. His mom was a sweetheart and his dad was hilarious. I was so happy!
Then suddenly I started getting the cold shoulder, I assumed that you know, maybe he's having an off few days. After a week of this odd behavior I began to get really worried, and asked him several times what's going on? did I upset you? But I just kept getting blown off. I felt really hurt but I didn't want to say anything. I avoided overreacting and tried to not annoy him. This kept happening for the next 4 weeks!
I randomly get a text saying we need to talk. I asked what was going on and he replies with "I want to go back to being just friends" and I love him so much and want him to be happy so that kinda was the end of it.
I feel so badly because I feel like I wasn't good enough or that I messed up and did something wrong. But we never got into a fight and he claims I did nothing wrong. I just really want things to be like they were. Im struggling with this because I've never been rejected before and...I want to fix it with every fiber of my heart.
I know that I can give him what he needs, and I'm more willing than anyone to give him happiness.
Does anyone have any tips for getting him back? Or if I'm completely wrong and not able to get him back, how can I move on?
------------------"Fall down 100 times, get up 101...this is success." --ME
Us Pisces women are always wanting to blame ourselves when something goes wrong with a man.
Water and Water are hard..dated a Cancer, cold not get rid of him, TEN years later still cant.
(stalker)
I am an old Pisces woman now, but I re-cognize me in you as a young Pisces woman...again always blaming myself.
You cant "get" a man back, IF he wants you he will go get you.
blessins
t~
Hard to let go, and both can be clingy and co-dependent (which only brings them close of course haha unfortunately)
No matter how much you love them, no matter that you would do anything for them, that you would do anything to see them happy, that you would give them anything they need. They will turn around and that smile will break your heart, because you know they will never love you as much as you love them.
I'm not trying to be negative, it's just a thought I had. I know I will never love my parents the same way they love me. I love them deeply, but they have spent so many years, raising me, watching me grow and flourish into the person I am today.
I am deeply sorry for the pain you are in. I know how much it hurts.
They will probably sound like empty words, but please believe me when I say, you are not the problem, you are good enough, you didn't mess up. I've been there, I have felt exactly the same way you do. I have thought so much about what I could have done differently, or what I didn't do. In the end what I finally realised, was that none of these issues were mine. I am who I am, I did what I did. They leave for their own reasons, and their own issues. As sad as that may be, and as much as it hurts, there is nothing I could have done, that would have changed the outcome. There is nothing wrong with me. But that doesn't make it hurt any less. Time goes by, and time goes by.
I don't have any tips for getting him back, because I have never succeeded. I feel Hippichick has it right. If it was meant to be, and he decides he does want to be with you. Then he will eventually make his way back to you.
I can't really help you move on either. I can only say, live your life for yourself. Try and do things that you find fun and interesting, take up something new. Most importantly, don't neglect your friends, they will always be there for you if you have chosen them well.
P.S Welcome, and congratulations on being an even better lurker than I am
quote:Originally posted by GypseeWind:I stumbled across this one a little bit ago.. maybe it will soothe you too, for awhile. http://tinybuddha.com/blog/be-gentle-with-yourself-when-dealing-with-heartbreak/
My best advice to you here, seeing as how you did nothing wrong, would be to do your best to move on. If he wants you, he will come back to you in time. If not, you don't need him. I know the anguish feels overwhelming now, but give it time.
:hug: best wishes to you hun
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