Dear Friend,I'm sorry, I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I hurt you.
All I ever wanted was to love you, and be loved by you.
I'm sorry I didn't forgive you, when I should have forgiven you.
I was a bad person, I manipulated to my fullest degree. And I knew what I was doing and I ignored it, I played it off like I was crazy, even to myself.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry,
When you looked into my eyes, I knew love. I knew love as I had never known it before. It was the most wonderful thing in the world.
And I became scared, how could I change? I did stupid things that a child would do, and I'm sorry.
I truly am.
I'm sorry, I should have given you time. I'm not patient. And I'm sorry, because I loved you. And I wanted you. But I can't hide and play the victim anymore. You were a victim as well. A victim of my cruel games. And I'm sorry.
When I first looked at you, I could tell you that you had my same power, but it was as if you had mastered it. And I didn't know how you had. I envied it, and I envied how everybody loved you.
Maybe that was the reason, maybe it was envy, envy because I had wanted to live your type of life and had never gotten to, and I didn't think it was fair. And I am so sorry for that. My heart is wrenching for what I did to you. Not for me, but for you. Because I never wanted it to go like this. I feel my heart chakra alight, and mournful as hot tears stream down my cheeks. I have been a monstrous to you. I have been terrible. But damn me if I said I never loved you.
Because I always loved you. I just couldn't love myself.
I couldn't love myself for the things I had done to you. Which I regretted every day, and became instantly defensive.
There was never a time, my heart didn't find you.
And I am so sorry.
I am so sorry I am so sorry.
I want you to go and live the life you want. You deserve it. You really do.
You're a great father you're a wonderful lover, you're an outstanding man. Even though I saw it little to myself, I saw it.
You always had the best intentions.
And I am sorry. I should never have done this. I am so sorry. I am so sorry. I am so sorry.
I don't expect forgiveness. I don't. But know that I owe you a debt for not forgiving you when I should have.