I love my boyfriend more than anything. He's mostly good to me, he cares for me deeply, he's even trying, and making efforts to be sweeter, kinder, more affectionate. Some backstory about him is that he was raised to be a soldier. His military training started early. While other teens were doing whatever it is they were doing, he was going through rigorous training, and eventually was responsible for the life and safety of others.
So, with that, he's got some... small difficulties showing certain types of love and affection, which I really crave.
His go-to response for a lot of issues is military-esque almost. It's just how he was raised.
Lately I've found myself feeling disappointed, and I've found myself looking to the way some others behave, and how they have qualities I wish my boyfriend had. Sometimes, dare I say, I even think of breaking up, because sometimes I can feel so unloved. But when I am feeling less emotional, I know it isn't true. He does love me.
I know that this is not fair for me to long for him to be a way he is not, and I know it's not fair for me to think of leaving when I get frustrated. I also have my own issues, too, so, there's that. No one is perfect.
I can imagine how I would feel if he thought the things that I thought. I think he can "feel" my... dissatisfaction, my unhappiness, and even though he doesn't totally show it, and just gets stoic, I know it is hurtful to him to feel this coming from me.
It really isn't fair of me. We both are trying our best. I can imagine how inadequate it makes him feel, to sense that I'm unhappy like this.
I do love him, and even if when I am upset, or anxious, I think of going, it's not an actual plan. I want to stay with him, and whatever happens, I want it to include him, but I also know I need to change my approach, and mindset about the whole thing, otherwise I'll just continue being unhappy, dissatisfied.
Does anyone have any advice, or, a perspective change, something that could help my situation?
I appreciate the assistance. <3