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T O P I C R E V I E WRandallAre you an introvert? Introverts know they're not as anti-social, stuck-up, or awkward (read: "super weird") as people think. Often categorized by the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator as INTJs, introverts simply prefer to be a little quieter, a little more thoughtful, and a bit more observant. That behavior, however, can be mystifying to extroverts, who thrive on boisterous conversation and constant attention. So what's actually going on in the mind of your introverted friend? We asked Shine readers to fess up and share what it's really like to be an introvert. Whether they wish they could become more extroverted, or are perfectly comfortable being "the quiet one," here are their confessions:It's true, an introvert doesn't want to make small talk at your party: I go to drastic lengths to avoid social events. Folks, I had my labor induced so I could skip a Christmas party. Well, okay, maybe I also did it because it was my due date, and I was ginormously, uncomfortably pregnant. Still, I was not a bit disappointed when everyone else went the party and did all the socializing for me." Sarah CotchaleovitchExtroverts aren't really so bad: "Even though I prefer to surround myself with a small, close-knit group, many of those in my circle are extroverts. I enjoy their energy, conversation, and charisma. I even married an extrovert! My husband surrounds himself with friends, loves to talk, and is usually the center of attention. I love him for this." Darcy ChappelIntroverts prefer not to step on toes: "I have never felt comfortable to speak up or correct someone. Never once did I correct a teacher when they called me a name that wasn't mine. I even remember one time I had a teacher constantly call me 'Melissa,' but I did nothing about it. I was still getting my assignments graded and didn't have any marks against me, so who was I to correct a teacher?" Michelle StevensAwkward silences are OK: "People really don't know how to be quiet. For me, awkward silences don't feel awkward, but other people feel the pressure to fill the silence with jabber. And when you don't add to the conversation, they will keep going! It is amazing how long someone is willing to keep up a one-sided conversation just to avoid silence." Stephanie ConstantinoThey're shy. So what? "I'm shy, not broken. I'm not 'Tiffini from marketing' with her stilettos and neon skinny jeans. Accept that. Don't tell me to 'fake it 'till I make it' or 'just be yourself.' I am being myself. And myself does not need to impress anyone in order to feel content. I can be a whole person and still prefer to stay home, drink tea, and watch a 'Gilmore Girls' marathon." Sarah AikenAnimal companions are preferred: "Animals? Yes! If there's an animal around, chances are I'm going to gravitate towards the animal. This doesn't mean I'll pay less attention to you. Oh,wait! Yes, it does. Sorry, I have an easier time opening up to animals than other people." Keara HopkinsThey're thinking up a storm: "I choose to live more quietly than others. When speaking up is necessary, I do. In that moment, the extroverts I know, the ones used to me rolling with the punches, become upset. They are blindsided by my sudden appearance and strong opinions. Of course, I have the latter, too. Most introverts do; the quiet storm inside of them often affects the world." Stephanie ModkinsPDA? No, thank you: "I am terrified of kiss-cams or any other sort of coerced public visibility. In no way do I understand the fun or appeal of this practice. Please, let me embarrass myself on my own terms. Public proposals make my skin crawl. Potential future husband, if you're out there, take note." Patty BrewsterIntroverts envy extroverts (just a little): "I wish I could be more extroverted. Sometimes I think that it would be easier for me to be more extroverted. Maybe I would have more friends. I wouldn't feel so awkward in new social situations. I'd have an easier time expressing my thoughts verbally to others, but I also wouldn't be the same person that I've grown to love over the years. However, it would be nice to see, even if just for a day, if the grass really is greener." http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/confessions-of-introverts--they%E2%80%99re-not-as-shy-as-you-think-195114236.html libraschoice77Wow true for most of it, especially for the part about prefering animal companions over people lol. Except my SO, he is another introvert like me so we do well together. He is the only one that really understands my personality, most people dont.Didnt always use to be introverted, when I was a child I would want to talk to people an want to be social, I actually had friends. Over the years with the way I was mistreated by others I slowly became introverted. Now I am full hard core introvert, if anyone is nice to me I get supicious that they want something from me. Basically conditioned by my surrounding to be that way. Heartlessyes i am one, and an INTJ. even score a full 100% 'I', high on the other 3 functions too. in my case, i'm happy and have no wish to be 'a little more extroverted' at all. rather nature and animals. and silence. hell is other people. 12muddyI think Im turning into an introvert and right now, the change confuses me a little. I used to love loud noises, boisterous laughter, crowded places, a fast-paced life... To me, the word home never carried much meaning. Now I find comfort and peace in my home, the world that once seemed so grand, sparkling and inviting suddenly became uninteresting. I used to love people and socializing, but now Im indifferent. I used to love to talk, but now, not so much. The other day a co-worker asked me Why are you so quiet? How could I tell her that Im now quiet and covering my ears because the world is so loud? hippichickFunny....I used to be horribly!!! HORRIBLY!!!Then my youngest was born with a heart defect and I was forced to extrovet...Then then the whole marriage sublimation thing...Now I speak my mind too much...Learning to shut the trap... PixieJaneI'm either depending on my mood. It does get frustrating sometimes when my mood changes suddenly and drastically, however...it usually happens when I'm around a lot of people I'll notice I'm tired and suddenly want to get away from everyone. It seems some people have that affect more than others, usually very superficial ones (at least superficial right then). Interesting enough introverts rarely have that affect on me, even when I'm around them awhile, but perhaps that's because they're not likely to throw my scales out of whack by constant demands (demands can be informal and unspoken, btw). It's possible it's an energy transference thing (don't feel like explaining why I consider that a possibility). Aries Eaglehmmm..The more you know, the less you talk ? hippichick quote:Originally posted by Aries Eagle:hmmm..The more you know, the less you talk ? I like somethingexcellent quote:Aries Eagle: The more you know, the less you talk ?Boooooooo! MetalAphroditeI'm an INFP. Was severely introverted as a kid. Don't have as much trouble talking to people as I did when I was younger. My Extrovert side is well developed as is my Judging side.Padre35Well, I'm an extroverted introvert.Meaning I have a lot of thoughts and perceptions that I rarely share.Put me in a social situation and the Saggie comes out!But I'd be far happier walking in my mtns under the stars and learning something then talking in a group..it gets to be like work.Recall a conversation from a year ago at 1:30 am?Sure, wonder how that turned outBrendan34Great post, thank you. I am a rather introverted person but like a good conversation socially. I took the Myers-Briggs test and got INFP.YoursTrulyAlwaysINTJ converted into ENTJ. PureI'm an INFP too!I think the meaning of introvert and extrovert gets distorted often. The basic definition of introvert is someone who gains and spends energy in the inside world, whilst an extrovert gains and spends energy in the outside world. Being an introvert has nothing to do with being shy or hating people, the same way being an extrovert doesn't automatically make a person loud or shallow. Introverts can extrovert and extroverts can introvert.
It's true, an introvert doesn't want to make small talk at your party: I go to drastic lengths to avoid social events. Folks, I had my labor induced so I could skip a Christmas party. Well, okay, maybe I also did it because it was my due date, and I was ginormously, uncomfortably pregnant. Still, I was not a bit disappointed when everyone else went the party and did all the socializing for me." Sarah Cotchaleovitch
Extroverts aren't really so bad: "Even though I prefer to surround myself with a small, close-knit group, many of those in my circle are extroverts. I enjoy their energy, conversation, and charisma. I even married an extrovert! My husband surrounds himself with friends, loves to talk, and is usually the center of attention. I love him for this." Darcy Chappel
Introverts prefer not to step on toes: "I have never felt comfortable to speak up or correct someone. Never once did I correct a teacher when they called me a name that wasn't mine. I even remember one time I had a teacher constantly call me 'Melissa,' but I did nothing about it. I was still getting my assignments graded and didn't have any marks against me, so who was I to correct a teacher?" Michelle Stevens
Awkward silences are OK: "People really don't know how to be quiet. For me, awkward silences don't feel awkward, but other people feel the pressure to fill the silence with jabber. And when you don't add to the conversation, they will keep going! It is amazing how long someone is willing to keep up a one-sided conversation just to avoid silence." Stephanie Constantino
They're shy. So what? "I'm shy, not broken. I'm not 'Tiffini from marketing' with her stilettos and neon skinny jeans. Accept that. Don't tell me to 'fake it 'till I make it' or 'just be yourself.' I am being myself. And myself does not need to impress anyone in order to feel content. I can be a whole person and still prefer to stay home, drink tea, and watch a 'Gilmore Girls' marathon." Sarah Aiken
Animal companions are preferred: "Animals? Yes! If there's an animal around, chances are I'm going to gravitate towards the animal. This doesn't mean I'll pay less attention to you. Oh,wait! Yes, it does. Sorry, I have an easier time opening up to animals than other people." Keara Hopkins
They're thinking up a storm: "I choose to live more quietly than others. When speaking up is necessary, I do. In that moment, the extroverts I know, the ones used to me rolling with the punches, become upset. They are blindsided by my sudden appearance and strong opinions. Of course, I have the latter, too. Most introverts do; the quiet storm inside of them often affects the world." Stephanie Modkins
PDA? No, thank you: "I am terrified of kiss-cams or any other sort of coerced public visibility. In no way do I understand the fun or appeal of this practice. Please, let me embarrass myself on my own terms. Public proposals make my skin crawl. Potential future husband, if you're out there, take note." Patty Brewster
Introverts envy extroverts (just a little): "I wish I could be more extroverted. Sometimes I think that it would be easier for me to be more extroverted. Maybe I would have more friends. I wouldn't feel so awkward in new social situations. I'd have an easier time expressing my thoughts verbally to others, but I also wouldn't be the same person that I've grown to love over the years. However, it would be nice to see, even if just for a day, if the grass really is greener." http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/confessions-of-introverts--they%E2%80%99re-not-as-shy-as-you-think-195114236.html
Didnt always use to be introverted, when I was a child I would want to talk to people an want to be social, I actually had friends. Over the years with the way I was mistreated by others I slowly became introverted. Now I am full hard core introvert, if anyone is nice to me I get supicious that they want something from me. Basically conditioned by my surrounding to be that way.
hell is other people.
Then my youngest was born with a heart defect and I was forced to extrovet...
Then then the whole marriage sublimation thing...
Now I speak my mind too much...
Learning to shut the trap...
It's possible it's an energy transference thing (don't feel like explaining why I consider that a possibility).
The more you know, the less you talk ?
quote:Originally posted by Aries Eagle:hmmm..The more you know, the less you talk ?
I like
quote:Aries Eagle: The more you know, the less you talk ?
Boooooooo!
Meaning I have a lot of thoughts and perceptions that I rarely share.
Put me in a social situation and the Saggie comes out!
But I'd be far happier walking in my mtns under the stars and learning something then talking in a group..it gets to be like work.
Recall a conversation from a year ago at 1:30 am?
Sure, wonder how that turned out
I think the meaning of introvert and extrovert gets distorted often. The basic definition of introvert is someone who gains and spends energy in the inside world, whilst an extrovert gains and spends energy in the outside world. Being an introvert has nothing to do with being shy or hating people, the same way being an extrovert doesn't automatically make a person loud or shallow.
Introverts can extrovert and extroverts can introvert.
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