posted August 23, 2008 03:19 AM              

Love has a rosy glow at the start of a new romance. Yet, all intimate relationships resulting in marriage or long-term commitment eventually come to rely on the influence of the planet Saturn, which suggests that responsibility and discipline are necessary for the growth and enduring success of the union. While it may feel as though the obligations of Saturn can weigh down the romance, Saturn also gives a sizable payback for the work invested in the relationship.

Saturn is a harbinger of slow, yet inevitable change. It is also the principle source of our self-preservation and sense of security. Ultimately, self-preservation takes precedence over ego fulfillment, emotional gratification, personal development and the pleasures of love and sex. If we have not met the requirements that ensure our basic sense of self-preservation and security prior to entering into lifelong intimate partnership, the relationship will not hold any permanent satisfaction, and the responsibilities involved in the partnership will weigh more heavily on us.

The Tie That Binds

Often, we blame our companion in a long-term relationship for restricting our movements. Saturn, however, is the true tie that binds us, through the desire to achieve permanence and stability amidst change, and the instinctual perception that we are somehow wounded, and therefore vulnerable. This underlying worry commonly gets in the way of intimacy and the deepening of our original commitment to love. When we are driven by free-floating fear and anxiety, our focus may narrow, limiting our efforts to what we should, could or would do, rather than allowing ourselves to concentrate on the moment and just be.

This is Saturn talking, and before we can turn our attention back to more enjoyable matters, we must first come to know our self-imposed limitations—the chinks in our proverbial armor. Otherwise, we may undermine our best efforts to succeed in life, as well as compromise the love our relationship has to offer by allowing our affections to grow cold.

Self-Imposed Limitations

The rings that surround Saturn symbolize our boundaries—the mental and/or emotional constructs that compel us to feel small, anonymous or limited within our relationship. These boundaries constitute Saturn's wound or mark, the doubts and insecurities that follow us around like shadows, mimicking our every move. Appearances can be deceiving, however. Shadows are simply a play of light, which indicates that this mark is also our strength—the raw, form-building, solidifying power that gives us the ability to know who we are as we step through the intricate movements of the dance of life, toe to toe with our partner.

Recognizing Saturn's Mark

Our internal defense mechanisms instinctively go to work by setting up emotional roadblocks when we interact with our partner in a way that threatens to open the wound. This may impede our ability to share our feelings openly. Another telltale sign of its presence may be the repetitious re-evaluation of our companion with an eye to critical analysis of his or her shortcomings, rather than looking within ourselves for the answer.

Restoring the Balance

Maintaining an intimate, long-term partnership is a delicate balancing act, and an art very much like dancing; it requires poise, harmony, synchronized rhythm, grace and concentrated effort, if we are to be any good at it. Being in relationship means sharing true relatedness—a mutual give and take. It is helpful to develop honesty, integrity, faithfulness, reliability, patience, perseverance and a dauntless sense of humor in order to achieve your relationship comfort zone along with lasting happiness. These virtues will go a long way toward establishing a one-to-one balanced exchange of energy between you and your partner.

Keeping love alive is hard work. Healing a wounded relationship requires that you heal yourself of the anxiety, doubt, insecurity and fear of rejection associated with your own sense of being wounded. No matter where Saturn is placed in your astrological chart, the following steps can help you to achieve your relationship comfort zone:

Concentrate on paying more attention to your mate. Acquire what you need toward your future security, yet remember that you have a lover with whom to share the wealth.
Try to let go of the illusion of safety long enough for your companion to see the real you. Emotional revelation may ease the depth of your insecurity.
Remember the freedom of expression that childlike joy has to offer. Be creative, flirt with your lover, and strive to have some fun, both in and out of the bedroom.
Critical attention to detail can be murder on your love life. Choose to apply your consciousness toward devotion to love instead.
Own the fact that you are entitled to be happily in love. Give in to both wanting and needing your partner, and let them know it.
Develop a sense of humor regarding the incongruous, seemingly irresolvable aspects of your relationship.
The Rewards of Saturn

Finally, while it is important to preserve the ideal of romance, keep in mind that Saturn rewards our efforts to have a love that stands the test of time. If we work well with Saturn in our relationships, we can learn patience, self-reliance, discipline, cooperation, integrity, honor and humility. By maintaining a stable and balanced relationship, we can also gain financial and emotional security, approval and protection, outer calm, inner peace, loyalty and emotional understanding.

Author’s Notes

Romantic bliss, along with love affairs, is associated with the Fifth House.

Saturn is associated with marriage and/or life mates through its exaltation in Libra and the Seventh House of partnerships. An exalted planet is said to operate at its strongest level of energy, and has the ability to reach its highest potential. Venus, the planet of love and affection, is the natural ruler of the Seventh House. Libra represents balance and harmony.

Change is associated with Saturn through its mythological guise of Father Time. Father Time is also known as Chronos, the Greek equivalent of the Roman god, Saturn, and the Greek word for "time.” Chronos carries an hourglass on his back, symbolizing the sands of time. Sometimes he carries a scythe, indicating time devouring life and all its forms.

Saturn represents the "mark" or wound in the natal chart. However, ancient esoteric traditions correlate Saturn with the Hebrew letter, Tav, meaning signature or mark, symbolized by an equal-armed cross, which indicates salvation.

posted August 23, 2008 04:05 AM              

Saturn in Relationship

by Dena L Moore

© 2001

Saturn's importance in relationships should not be overlooked, yet for some odd reason his influence often is, particularly in computer analyzed synastry charts, which tend to focus primarily on Sun, Moon, Venus, and Mars contacts. Perhaps Saturn is quickly dismissed as an 'outer planet' and therefore not relevant to relationships. Perhaps Saturn is brushed aside because of the intense karmic implications apparent with Saturn contacts in synastry. Regardless, Saturn does not often get the attention he deserves.

Saturn is a builder, a solidifying influence that is pertinent to the formation of any long-lasting relationship. Relationships aren't meant to be all light and fluff--they are intended for the individual growth of the two partners. Significant growth is not easy or very fun and Saturn contacts can be rather painful at times. Saturn in our charts is often expressed in an unconscious manner. It is our repressed child-hood fears, our own personal inferiority complex that can hold us back if we don't learn to express Saturnian energy consciously. Many times we are only made aware of this part of ourselves through the mutual projection/reflection inherent in our relationships. The true strength of any building's structure is known only after it withstands the force of a hurricane, earthquake, or other disaster. The same is true of our personality. We don't know what we are capable of until we are involved in a relationship that tests us and strengthens our resolve and determination.

In synastry, Saturnian contacts are often viewed negatively if there is a square (90 degrees), opposition (180 degrees), or conjunction ( 0 degrees) involved. It is often stated that the Saturn person has a restricting or limiting influence on the other person's involved planet. This is true to an extent but it should be understood that Saturn is the vulnerable one in this situation. He is trying to hide his pain, his weaknesses from his partner and does this with a self-protecting mechanism of domination and 'parental' guidance. The very part of the other person Saturn is trying to restructure is simply an unconscious projection on his part--it is a part of the Saturnian personality that he recognizes but can't consciously associate with himself. Through this relationship, and the reflection of the unconscious need for growth, the Saturnian person becomes more conscious, more developed, in his own right. So how does this affect the other person? Well, it can be very difficult at times but if the person can understand this part of the relationship and work with it, they too will grow. The Saturnian contact will help strengthen the other person's planet and give it more conscious structure. The tension can swing back and forth between the partners as the fears and needs of each partner are put to the test by the contact.

A positive Saturnian contact such as the trine (120 degrees) and the sextile (60 degrees) is easier to work with in the relationship because Saturn and the other planet have more of an understanding between them. Although Saturn can still be unconscious in these circumstances, chances are the Saturnian person has had some prior experience with a Saturnian connection in another relationship and thus has a more conscious knowledge of his Saturnian placement and is working more successfully with the energy. In the new relationship with the positive Saturn connection, the Saturnian is helping build up the structural personality of the current partner. This is a situation of growth for both partners as the Saturnian is learning to share his prior experiences in a teaching position while the other partner is developing the planet in question.

Without the strength and support of a significant Saturn contact, it is fairly difficult to think in terms of long-term possibility in a relationship. This planet is a powerhouse that is often avoided in synastry because the implications are, on the surface, unpleasant. After all, we really don't like to hear the truth about our relationships or ourselves. It is less painful and easier to avoid the truth, at least at first. However, avoidance and ignorance will eventually backlash and can possibly destroy a relationship that could have been saved if the two people involved were willing to open themselves up to their fears and hostilities and had learned to integrate the energy in a more healthy fashion.

While some synastry interpretations avoid Saturn and his importance in our relationships, it is one of the first planets I look at when I start a synastry reading. In my opinion, Saturn is not only important in a relationship, but is the very foundation of a long-term relationship. Without a foundation, all structures will collapse.

posted August 23, 2008 07:57 PM            

What would you guys think of my Mars trine his Saturn with 3 degree orb and an exact opposition with my Jupiter to his Saturn in synastry?

What's interesting to me is that mars rules my seventh house and Jupiter rules his seventh house. I don't know if this matters but it's just a thought.

How many contacts are usually seen with long term unions?

posted August 24, 2008 04:28 AM              

In it, she speaks quite in favour of saturn in hard aspects...so dunno really

I, personally, don´t like it in hard aspect, because it gives a lot of sorrow and pain, whereas i suppose a trine is good and easier...

posted August 24, 2008 04:45 AM              

His Saturn squares my Saturn.
His Saturn conjunct my Jupiter.
His Saturn opposite my Pluto.
My Saturn sextile his sun.

posted August 24, 2008 12:25 PM            

You said that with your ex you had a composite moon in Capricorn. How did your relationship end with that.

I have an ex whom I haven't been with for a year and he's been dating someone for a year and he's really happy...I'm finding it hard to get over him (probably because in true fashion I never got over him...I just avoided thinking about it). I'm wondering when you guys split up was it hard to get over him...or how would you characterize your composite cap moon.

In fact the part about what you said that relationships being hard for you...I guess that's the hard part for me...that I have dated other people but it just seems that its so much work for me to make it work...and that he has this great relationship that seems to come effortless.

He has his sun and moon conjunct saturn, and I have a cap moon and capricorn is in my 7th house.

posted August 24, 2008 05:58 PM              

Each relationship is different and presents its own challenges whether we look at astrology or not. But I do think that the more experienced we become, the easier we can apply our past lessons to our current relationships. And as for getting over your ex, yes you will. Some relationships take longer to get over than others, but we do get there in the end. In my experience, t's a process of grieving for your old relationship, and it's something that you do have to go through. It could be that you will end up like me and my ex, great friends for life.