posted November 25, 2003 10:43 PM              

Has anyone ever been in a relationship where - for want of a better expression - your love hurts?

I mean those relationships were you can't live with 'em, but you can't live without 'em.

You break up - then make up, but you can't for the life of you work out why you keep going back?

Why does this happen? (Has anyone got some specific astrological aspects that cause this to happen?)
Has anyone got a 'happily ever after' after a situation like this? Did you eventually sort out your 'differences' and get together for good?
Or is it better to not even bother with a relationship like this (i.e. run and never go back - no matter how hard the pull to go back is..?)

Thanx
lol
Nebel

posted November 25, 2003 11:28 PM              

Check out if your synastry chart lists the two of you as having "Venus Mutually Aspects Pluto" as a factor to consider in all of this.

It all sounds a little similiar to some info. which I have in some of my reports too.

Here's what a couple of reports said to me when I checked myself and someone else out for compatibility on www.astrology.com.

This isn't to be confused with www.ASTRO.com. That is a free site and the one I'm referring to is a site where you have to pay for the fruits of the computer software's knowledge instead, so to speak, lol.

This person's Venus Trines my Pluto, and my Venus Trines his Pluto too.

The first entry here is in reference to our basic overall compatibility in general. It says...

Venus Mutually Aspects Pluto:

You will experience the heights and depths, love and hate, attraction and repulsion, agony and ecstasy in this relationship. A powerful, compelling fascination and irresistible sexual attraction draws the two of you together like magnets. You love each other with a depth of feeling that is surprising even to yourselves. The powerful charismatic power that you have over each other can be used to manipulate one another, and dominance, control, or jealousy easily become hot issues between you. Whether this is a brief passionate encounter or a lifelong attachment, you will change one another profoundly.

Now for the sexual compatibility report section to help enlighten us too, lol, here is what that more specific report about our actual sex lives said...

Venus Mutually Aspects Pluto:

Your relationship is prone to immense highs and lows. One minute you're totally hot for one another and the next minute you just can't stand the sight of the other's face. You may go through excruciating break-ups again and again, as you most likely find the making up to be reason enough to break up in itself -- because what could be better than make-up sex? It's intense, hot and heavy and full of promises that you'll be together forever, things are going to get better and better from here on out ... Just make sure you're not using all this drama to create feeling where otherwise there is none. It's unhealthy to subject one another to alternate rounds of jealousy, possessiveness, desire and the cold shoulder, and over time you will only succeed in breaking one another down. Try to be more stable and try not to use your sexual connection to dominate or manipulate one another.

So, do you think it could possibly be the Venus/Pluto aspects at work for you and your beloved in this case too?

BTW, I have never been able to follow through on any actual connection between this person and myself, so I can't offer any inside info. to you about if it works out to have this big an effect on couples or not though.

posted November 25, 2003 11:29 PM              

No, I realize that's not the only possible factor here, but I sure wouldn't be surprised if you had a strong aspect(s) involving one or both of your natal Saturns in a synastry comparison, or in the composite chart. Also, sun/moon contacts are a possibility.

posted November 26, 2003 06:49 AM              

*frowns* it's a pest, to be honest, 'cause all you can do is feel it hurts, want to run away and then come to the conclusion it seems worse without them. As if the other keeps you on a string, but to say that "it's better to leave and never come back" I'm not sure... depends how much you care for the other one, how the other cares for you. What's his/her idea on this whole matter anyway 'cause that might be an interesting aspect to keep in mind..
It's not as simple though, sometimes your mind says this and your heart wants to keep trying. It makes no sense when you look rationally ° ° but from what I've heard, if it keeps hurting, walk away. Regardless of the words the other might utter when you do so, regardless of how bad it might make you feel, if it keeps hurting *you*, walk away and find someone else. You're the one you need to live with, and there's nothing love-like about giving up yourself for someone else... this is all said so, provided the other doesn't try really hard to make things better. If the other half *does* make an effort.. it's not so easy to walk away. My advice: see what *you* want first, then make the balance with what the other does for you (whether or not it goes both ways) and decide on that... you can't keep going on your feelings, certainly not in a jojo-situation. May I ask: what's yours and the other's sign? Could indicate quite a lot..

Hope this helps you a bit,

posted November 26, 2003 07:56 PM              

As for those aspects...

Our synestry has a lot of Saturn, Uranus AND Pluto aspects! My God! No wonder we have problems! LOL
There seems to be quite a few hard Moon aspects - such as Moon Square Mars, Moon Square Saturn, Moon opposing Saturn, Moon opposing Neptune...
Our Composite chart also has quite a few Chiron, Pluto and Uranus oppositions.

No Pluto/Venus stuff though... (Thank God?!)

Thanks again
LOL
Nebel

posted November 26, 2003 09:27 PM              

Faith and honour are the most important values to me in a relationship. But values mean something to you personally. if another does not share your values, and shares what that means to YOU personally then the relationship will not work

You have to see where your values are different, if they are partially the same you can be faithful to eachother, but work on that rather than the physical aspects of the relationship, sex, working together, living together-that is superficial and can always change.

Too many couples think they have to live together, or work together so they can share responsibilities and that makes a relationship work. It does not. relationship are emotionally based, and faith in the other person as a partner is necessary, vital, the base of the friendship.
Subconciously we seek who is best for us. We have to find the answer, and learn our lesson so we can move on emotionally. That is the work.

posted November 26, 2003 09:30 PM              

Loving someone who doesn't share your values is like searching for a broken light switch in a dark room. It's rewarding later, today it's miserable.