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Author
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Topic: money!!!! DEBT!!! & Misery!
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rOcK sONic
unregistered
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posted April 12, 2003 05:21 AM
 
Maybe someone more knowledgable in Astrology has insight.
I am in serious Debt, Credit cards, Loans, car payments, almost all overdue... All because I made the decisions to help my lost Leo boyfriend. I helped him in good faith, I wanted to depend on him to repay me but thus far, he hasn't been able to hold down a job. I have spent thousands getting him back on track. I love him dearly, and vice versa, but I know its my fault really because ultimately I made the decision to help him out. I have asked my family to lend me money and they graciously have helped me, and I can't even pay them back.
I don't regret what I have done for him, but life is so hard. I am thinking of quitting school to get a second job because I can't depend on him. I started getting anxiety attacks today (NOT PLEASANT)... and recently started smoking... drinking lots of coffee...gaining weight... I feel like I'm slipping, and its devastating to me... no longer a proud Aries... I am defeated. Maybe someone out there can take a look at my chart? see when things might get better? I'm holding on... barely... me- April 3, 1981
9:25 pm, Los Angeles, CA Just in case...
my bf- Aug. 10, 1977
8:17 pm, Los Angeles,CA I am so pathetic!!!!!!! IP: Logged |
Mazz
unregistered
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posted April 12, 2003 06:28 AM
Cant help you with the astrology bit Rocksonic but my heart goes out to you,I dont like hearing about an aries feeling like they're defeated!I was seriously in debt once in my life so I know how it feels,I'm sending you love and prayers now that you'll find your way through it.IP: Logged |
moth
unregistered
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posted April 12, 2003 07:15 PM
rOck sOnic--remember, it's just money. If you have someone who loves you and you love him, that's the most important thing--not lots of money, not credit, not cars and material posessions. The greatest fortune you have is someone who really and truly loves you and stands by you--then all else will work out because all those other things are just material things.As for anxiety--take walks, walk a lot. Get your guy out with you and walk. Walk at night and look at the stars (wait, are you in Los Angeles--well, maybe you can't see the stars then...), but you know what I mean. Do volunteer work which is a great way to take your mind off of troubles--it doesn't cost you anything to give your time to those less fortunate and besides you'll see things could be worse--there are others so much worse off than you. When I go on walks and start to worry about money, I think of how glad I am that I am relatively healthy for my age and that I CAN walk, and I think of the people in prison or invalids who can only look out their windows and remember what the freedom of taking long walks, whenever and wherever, in fresh air was like. I can hear the birds singing, something my mother can no longer do since she is now deaf. I can see--I would hate to be blind, but I'm not, I can see the sunset, I can see lightening flashing, see nature. I can eat and savor it, something people on chemotherapy usually cannot enjoy. I can have sex with a great guy who snores next to me every night (his snores are reassuring that he is always there, not out fooling around or on the computer in chats with other women or such--we went thought a lot and gave up everything to be with each other--and he's always here with me). You are probably so very fortunate, really. You feel defeated, I know exactly what you're going through. So, try to think of what you have that money cannot buy. A lot of times people just don't realize how good life is until their pleasures and freedoms are taken away--and I'm not talking about material pleasures, I'm referring to what pleases the soul. IP: Logged |
theFajita3
unregistered
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posted April 12, 2003 11:49 PM
Rock Sonic I totally know where you are coming from. Sometimes it is a curse to have such a big heart because people, whether meaning to or not, can take advantage. I used to loan my ex money for everything all the time...I know what you are going through. Please have faith and make a promise to yourself to learn your lesson...  HUGS d------------------
food is the only art that nourishes! IP: Logged |
rOcK sONic
unregistered
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posted April 13, 2003 05:09 AM
THank you mazz, moth and fajita~ You've all made me feel better. Today was a better day for me, I think I finally got myself to stop thinking about it for a while so I feel ALMOST normal now.  hehe I hope against all hope that this too shall pass, and somewhere in the back of my brain,I know it will. But after over a year like this, it starts to become a really long dark tunnel and you really can't tell if there's light at the end of the tunnel... but we all know that there is light... right? Thank you for your prayers and love mazz.. it gave me a warm fuzzy feeling inside. Moth, I think I feel better today because I have been doing sorta what you have advised. The only way to kinda lift me out of this mental state is to look at it in a relative manner... and you are right, thing could be much worse. And I realized that I haven't been thinking that I AM LUCKY~! I have no money but I have family that love me, and I have my sweet pets, and I have my bf that loves me and accepts all my billion faults. Its kinda bitter sweet isn't it? Life that is... And oh, I am not materialistic, I just would like to pay my bills. I feel quite stupid, inept and irresponsible. Hey miss Fajita~ thanks. I am tryin' to keep faith in myS-elf! But its hard! I am so afraid that its going to get worse before it gets better. I am gonna try my best and learn my lesson... and man its a tough one. I think Father Saturn has a hand in this one...
I have to stop being naive and having so much idealistic faith in my Thomas. *sigh*
I am so blind. Thank you all.
Much Love,
rOcK sONic IP: Logged |
theFajita3
unregistered
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posted April 13, 2003 05:12 AM
please don't be too hard on yourself, we all mistakes. that is how we get wiser!------------------
food is the only art that nourishes! IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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