posted March 10, 2004 07:16 PM              

Formerly, aquaspryt, and LOVING my "new identity". I can only thank all of my great friends for all their support and help. I would never have been able to make this big a move without them. My best friend of 30 years is a :Libra:, and my other really, super supportive friend, a :Sagittarius: have been the BEST friends a person could ask for!

I'm back in the health field...those who know me question this line of work and with good reason. I find it very enjoyable and wonder if I should go further with it, or look for something more "scorpio-like".
I got certified in massage, but I only do that for friends and family anymore.
Could someone look at my chart? I don't want another student loan for a career I hardly use again.
Thanks,

posted March 11, 2004 02:42 AM              

I've got some things I've got to write down and this is a good a place as any. I ran out of notebook paper, anyways...

Where was I?

Oh yeah... a story which has a few chapters.

CHAPTER ONE

Once upon a time there was a girl who had to process a whole lot of stuff. She somehow, probably by the grace of God, which only confirms she is special, she arrived at a "soft place to land" - a special virtually real forum filled with Knowflakes and Angels who put a spiritual and metaphysical twist to everything.

Maybe she knew that .gloria would be there, a girl who's a survivor of domestic violence. And so, these girls were all basically new to the forum, or some come and go, but when they're at this special sacred place, everything is pure.

And so this girl first fronted herself as "aquaspryt". In Chapter One, she is full of rage, confusion, helplessness. But in the last Chapter, she is able to step into, well, a time warp. Was it HER passing through it? Or was it like a wave surrounding her? A revolving stage, and now she's somewhere new?

Well, she steps out of character, takes a deep breath and is relieved for once. She knows the stage she just came from is behind her. No longer in that character, she revisits the stage to view her life with a very necessary wise detachment. She revisits bytes of the past, and in a previous thread she said::

"The meaning of insanity...
doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results!"

[As you can see, she is in need of truth. Of constancy and solidness. And she proceeds::]

"NO, I'M NOT FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF--I'M TIRED OF PEOPLE, LIKE YOU, SAYING I REFUSE TO DO SELF-WORK AND AM IN NEED OF EMOTIONAL VALIDATION AND MOTHERING!! DO YOU KNOW WHAT "WORK" I HAVE DONE OR FOR HOW LONG?! YOU KNOW NOTHING!!! NOT A D*** THING ABOUT ME OR HIMMMMMMM, OR MY LIFE EXCEPT WHAT LITTLE I'VE POSTED. IF YOU WANT TO SCARE ME AWAY BECAUSE, IN YOUR OPINION, THAT WOULD BE THE BEST THING FOR ME, YOU'LL HAVE TO DO BETTER THAN FLINGING JUDGEMENTS AND ACCUSATIONS AROUND TO SOMETHING YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT. I,(ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME), WILL DECIDE WHAT IS BEST FOR ME AND WHEN I WILL OR WILL NOT LEAVE, JUST LIKE "YOUR NEIGHBOR", FOR MY OWN REASONS!!!!!!!"

[formerly a victim of her circumstances, she realizes she has permission to take control of her life, and to prove it, she exercises a byte of her muscles with her homey girls here, but it's not over]

"ran a copy of this and took it to my session. Apparently, I take things too personally and blew up in self-defense.
*Choke* Swallow pride--deep breath...
i apologize to all who come here. even my sag man shook his head and told me (again, for the millionth time) I take things too much to heart and need to learn to let things slide off my back. someday i WILL figure out how to do this.

also, i was told to go back to my original site where the people there don't judge, yell, or threaten. I do believe i will follow this advice.

Buh Bye!"

[she is not only leaving us, she's leaving something else too. we know she needs to take flight. some of us are saddened. some are angry. some have faith in her. but we all miss her. and then she says::]

"Thank you so much! That is the kind of response that made me want to join this forum in the first place. Not the judging and biting remarks of those who are "older and all knowing".
Peace and Light to you!"

[life is circular - not linear]

"Sorry, can't have kids...hysterectomy last January. I'm already packing and moving in with a friend in Phoenix on Tuesday. Since he is at the men's shelter I don't have to worry about what he will do when I try to leave.
I honestly don't want to be coddled, but re-reading my messages I realize I sound quite pathetic and that I was seriously depressed because I realize it's actually over, there's nothing I can do to get him to change his ways even after all this time together. Knew it, just too stubborn to want to face reality.
I asked about Saturn opposing Venus for insight into NOT choosing these types of mates again. What is it I'm doing that attracts this type of man? Friends of mine can't believe I have put up with this at all! Let alone, for as long as I have!
I'm not sure of any other aspects in my chart that would have to do with relationships.
I can't tell you how relieved my mom is about this, but I'm sure you can imagine!"

[lord, we love moments like that. and then::]

"Good question, how do I become familiar with those weaknesses in particular? I feel very oblivious to their signs/signals."

[her will is strong, she is persistent, she will win::]

"No more 180's PLEASE!"

[the circle is now complete]

"To get myself back into society mode, I went to Sedona. What a fabulous area! The "Vortex" as it is referred to as, here in AZ. I can't tell you how exciting and PERFECT it was, except that it's the first time I've EVER seen a WATERFALL in Oak Creek Canyon!! It filled me with thoughts and feelings of hope and faith I can't even begin to describe. I can't wait to go back in about 2-3 weeks to see it all in BLOOM!!"

[the butterfly girl who was once "aquaspryt", has now CONSCIOUSLY transformed into beautiful "2tailscorp" - she is VERY smart. she understands the power of the virtual real world of spirits, of us... we are here... we love her...]

THE END

posted March 11, 2004 03:37 PM              

All of my life I've had the nickname 'motormouth', and I can honestly say I don't know what to say!