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Author
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Topic: Letting Go
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LuLu
unregistered
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posted April 03, 2006 07:35 PM
 
What signs have a harder time letting go than others after a romantic relationship that never fully materialized or worked out? I ask because I have a Scorpio that is having a really hard time letting go of our "friendship" that never fully materialized into a relationship because he thought the physical distance between our two locations was too big. So we have really been struggling between establishing the fine line between friendship/relationship and hatred for about a year now. But I, in an attempt to save myself, put an end to all of it about a month ago and asked him to just let me go. In fact, I have really had to stand my ground and say this repeatedly for over a month now. He is having a really hard time doing that though and it really seems to be wearing him down emotionally. Begging almost in tears is something I never thought I would hear out of him. He has a Cancer Moon by the way and a Capricorn Ascendant just a few degrees off from my own. I was just wondering if this was a Scorpio thing, a guy thing, a I have no idea why he is holding on so tightly thing. HELP! IP: Logged |
Green Fairy
unregistered
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posted April 03, 2006 07:41 PM
Double Cancer (sun/moon) here and i admit....MOI!!I just get stuck,become obsessed on situations and feelings and almost never let go.It's ugly to say the least but can't help it  IP: Logged |
Lady Macbeth
unregistered
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posted April 03, 2006 07:47 PM
Hi LuLu,Scorpio Sun/Cancer Moon absolutely has an impossible time letting go. Venus in Cancer has this issue as well. There really isn't an easy answer or quick piece of advice to offer you. This combination is one of the most loyal, devoted and loving. The sensitivity is profound. IP: Logged |
tbone
unregistered
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posted April 05, 2006 02:25 PM
I think it s a Cancer thing. I also get quite "obsessive" with love interests. Or maybe just a water sign thing. If people tell me to "let go" or "move on" it almost makes me want to try harder. IP: Logged |
jkxx
unregistered
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posted April 05, 2006 02:40 PM
I think it would be anyone with personal planet placements in any of the fixed signs or houses (as well as cancer, even though cancer is a cardinal sign). Venus in water signs would be emotionally attached so they would have a hard time with it as well, although venus in scorp might display it more overtly than venus in pisces.IP: Logged |
spellbound
unregistered
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posted April 05, 2006 02:43 PM
I completely identify and understand your cancer moon friend. I too have a cancer moon and have great difficulty in letting go of emotions, especially those that I feel have never been brought to closure. Cancer moons, me in particular, have a tendency to collect things...emotions, things of sentimental value. I am definately a pack rat. I have old cards from boyfriends ages ago. Not because I want them in my life, but because a part of me will always love them, the way that they made me feel, and the time of my life that they represented. I'm not sure if it's a security thing or not..possibly more of a water trait, as I have tons of water in my chart. Pisces sun, Cancer moon, Sco ascendant. I guess since water signs typically process things on an emotional level, once they have found something that gives them emotional security they want to hang on to it. I know I do..that is why I fight to keep it even when it may be difficult or unhealthy. It's a learning process though. Once you learn to declutter your emotions and let go of baggage, emotional relating definately becomes much easier and most importantly less painful. SB IP: Logged |
spellbound
unregistered
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posted April 05, 2006 02:43 PM
2xIP: Logged |
Green Fairy
unregistered
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posted April 05, 2006 06:50 PM
quote:
Cancer moons, me in particular, have a tendency to collect things...emotions, things of sentimental value. I am definately a pack rat. I have old cards from boyfriends ages ago. Not because I want them in my life, but because a part of me will always love them, the way that they made me feel, and the time of my life that they represented
Tell me about it!!I have kept so many things,even from back in the 3rd grade and all my school books  IP: Logged |
shirty
unregistered
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posted April 05, 2006 06:58 PM
My Venus is in Scorpio and I too have a very hard letting go of certain people. However, I'm very selective in my obsessiveness. There are people who I wouldn't bat another eyelash at, while there are others who I would almost do anything for.. funny how that works!IP: Logged |
LuLu
unregistered
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posted April 05, 2006 08:33 PM
I don't know!!!! But here are his planets in their signs. Maybe that will help out the quest.Sun - Scorpio
Moon- Cancer
Ascendant - Capricorn
Mercury- Scorpio
Venus - Libra
Mars - Leo
Jupiter - Cancer
Saturn - Leo
Uranus- Scorpio
Neptune - Sagittarius
Pluto- Libra
North Node - Libra
Chiron - Taurus Now...if you are ready for a laugh...look at my planets. Sun - Taurus
Moon - Sagittarius
Ascendant - Capricorn
Mercury - Aries
Venus - Taurus
Mars - Leo
Jupiter - Cancer
Saturn - Leo
Uranus - Scorpio
Neptune - Sagittarius
Pluto - Libra
North Node - Libra
Chiron - Taurus Our house overlays are almost exactly the same too...just off by a couple of degrees. IP: Logged |
Node
Knowflake Posts: 3165
From: 2,015 mi East of Truth or Consequences NM
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 05, 2006 08:52 PM
I can REALLY relate to this thred. Having Sun and Venus in the fixed sign of Taurus, with too many Karmic contact points to mention with my personal obsession. I have to say that 'letting go' can take YEARS. This person will forever remain in my heart. He will also serve as a yardstick [if you will] for every other encounter. He has taught me what I absolutely need, in order to BE myself. Let go? I will never fully 'let go' Neptune's fantasy [Scorpio] is also an alure that shades everthing with the signature of "what if"  IP: Logged |
geminirising26
unregistered
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posted April 05, 2006 09:16 PM
I seem to have an issue with this as well. I frequently lament over lost could-have-been relationships....when who the hell knows what could have actually been!
I have no strong Cancer placements, but I do have Moon in Taurus (which influences me to hold on to all things (material, and other matter) for longer than I actually should.I am also a Capricorn...while I don't think that that has much to do with holding on too long to people (or maybe the idea that the person represents?) but I know Capricorns do fall hard when they decide to. LuLu: His Capricorn ASC along with his moon and sun placement has definately effected his relationship with you, I'd say. IP: Logged |
LuLu
unregistered
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posted April 05, 2006 10:25 PM
It's just frustrating. I'm used to normal guys that say okay and leave you alone when you break things off. This one just won't go away. He seems to think this is girl code for fix it you dumba$$. That was not my intention at all. It just breaks my heart more every time he tries again. Which he invariably does every couple of days and then he gets really upset. But I can't continue the way we were and he can't seem to get over the one hour distance, so there isn't a happy medium because he doesn't know the meaning of just friends when it comes to me. With us, it is always something more. There is no in between. I literally just wish I could get away from him because at this point in time, it would just be a relief. To not feel so torn all the time. But we work together, so aren't I just cursed at the moment.IP: Logged |
Swerve
unregistered
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posted April 06, 2006 04:30 AM
I feel for this guy, I relate completely. Once you are in, really in, you have touched something that was so carefully defended but so in need of touching that the pang of missing it once its gone is never soothed. I really don't know what the answer to this is. I'm not even sure which person is right. It all depends on whether he is being selfish or you are, the details of your relationship here are bare.The question that goes through my mind at those times is whether any of it was ever real and if it can disappear so quickly for the other person and they can just carry on regardless, how much was it all worth? Then he faces the fact he still feels that way and he looks to make it true rather than just a passing fancy that suited the other person at the time but can be discarded like yesterdays trash when the mood strikes that it isn't important to them anymore. The other thing I would say is that for a Scorpio to have gotten to this point, certain promises must have been made, certain tests had been gone through, and certain dreams had been allowed to flourish. When you bask in a Water Signs adulation and romance and intensity there is a responsibility not to take advantage of that well of emotion and dive right in without thinking about the consequences. You must have realised he was sensitive, and yet it seems you expect a very practical response. i see this all the time with people mistreating Water Signs, but that is NOT to say it might not be your guys fault this time, I thow no judgements at you with so little info. Besides it must be a little upsetting and confusing for you too, as you have stated! I don't think most of the world is ready for Watery love, its too deep and too real and requires too much emotional and spiritual investment. I in myself acknowledge that I have trouble letting go, bu then I reconsider and wonder what exactly "letting go" is. When you look back on your life from your deathbed you will feel keenly those times you came close to real emotion, real passion, not the pointless dating or flimsy sexual relationships you encountered along the way. From that viewpoint, I think Water Signs are already a step ahead in appreciating what they have when they have it and the devestation of letting that go when they know how fragile and rare it is tears them apart. Sometimes illusion can make something seem better, that is a practical point of view, but sometimes dreams can add more to life and create possibilities of things far too beautiful to be within the reach of those who pride themselves on being "down-to-Earth". I think the water signs have a much better handle on love, and lets not forget, you only pass through Water after you have done the rounds on the other signs....something to keep in mind. I am proud of my emotionality, for all the trouble it causes me. Swerve IP: Logged |
Blackmagic
unregistered
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posted April 06, 2006 05:51 AM
i have venus and mercury in cancer and i hate myself for this but yes i cant let go to the point that i wnat to kill myself to get the person back! it is taking me years and years but i still cant let go....
as time passes by my feelings are getting stronger and i just cant convince myself that it is all over (from years!!)
i feel sorry for everyone who is like this, it is really a painful torture.
IP: Logged |
Node
Knowflake Posts: 3165
From: 2,015 mi East of Truth or Consequences NM
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 06, 2006 06:36 AM
Well said SwerveIP: Logged |
gert
unregistered
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posted April 06, 2006 07:29 AM
So deep swerve,so deeeeeep!!!!I am catching your wave dude even though I cant really realte(Fire Sign) but I do have tons of water in my chart! IP: Logged |
mysticaldream
unregistered
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posted April 06, 2006 07:31 AM
Swerve, what a great, heart-felt response!
I don't know if it is my Scorpio Ascendant, Venus and Neputune in Scorpio or what, but I understand and agree completely. If someone can switch gears from "love" to "like" and from "intimate" to "casual" at the drop of a hat, what did the relationship really mean to them in the first place? It reminds me of a certain guy who was always saying things like, "you are the only good thing in my life; promise me you won't ever stop loving me............blah, blah, blah."
I thought that he meant what I would mean if I were the one saying those things, that there was depth and loyalty. I won't get into the details of it except to say when things ended and he said we could still be fiends; I thought, like he11 we can. IP: Logged |
13anshee
unregistered
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posted April 06, 2006 07:35 AM
i can relate but one thing has helped me so far"failure is success if we learn from it" i take each relationship that i've had (which amounts to maybe 2 that have been serious) and look at who i was at the time, what i am now what i can acheive through lessons learned, then i don't "move on" or "let go" i use those lesson to make me a better person and in doing that it's like my tribute to that love, i still carry it with me, but it no longer haunts me, i've found it quite peacefull btw i'm sun taurus, rising gemini, moon cancer
and both names i go by, my birthdate and my numerology "soul urge" are all 6's so i have a deep and compassionate need for love in life
oh and i have scorpio in three planets too anyways i know how it feels IP: Logged |
LuLu
unregistered
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posted April 06, 2006 08:03 AM
This has all been extremely hard for both of us. I never let anyone in and I let him inside. I waited and waited in the hopes that whatever was holding him back about the one hour distance thing would go away. We have had knock down drag out fights about it because it felt like I felt so much more for him than he did for me. He never says how he feels or shows how he feels. But I wanted to make sure that he wasn't mistaken about my feelings for him. I wrote, I know that saying it out loud would have been better but i have cried for the better part of a month now, him a letter saying all the things I would have regretted not saying ten years from now. I told him I loved him, very much, and that he is always going to take up a large part of my heart. But the idea of him coming to me months, years from now and telling me that he is going to marry some random girl would be too hard for me to hear. That it would break my heart all over the place. And because I love him and want nothing more than for him to just be happy, I have to walk away from all of this now so that I can get enough distance to be happy for him when that happens. It was very long letter and very hard to write and I cried the entire time. And lo and behold, he didn't freak out when he read it like most guys do. He thanked me and said that he needed to hear all that. And then tried to flirt with me. I just want more from him than he can give to me from an hour away. I don't fault him for that. I just can't watch him date. It hurts too much. Does that make sense. Two little softies breaking each others hearts over here.IP: Logged |
Swerve
unregistered
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posted April 06, 2006 08:09 AM
On this last post I would say be careful and stand up for what you want. I hope he isn't playing those emotional games with himself that Scorpio's can and dragging you down with him.I really liked your last post and it is TOTALLY different from what you expressed in the first few. You seem like a lovely girl, and in a lot of pain. It comes down to whether you can trust him or not. Is the distance thing a problem or an excuse? I really hope you find the best way to resolve this. Swerve IP: Logged |
CapGirl
unregistered
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posted April 06, 2006 11:04 AM
Lulu~ That was something to read your last post, as I have just done the same and written a letter and cried off and on while writing it for 2 hours, basically confessing my feelings and yet saying that if he didn't feel the same or wasn't in the position to have a serious relationship, then to please not contact me or respond. Did he read the letter in front of you? I left mine for him to read later... and now I wait... I noticed his venus in Libra and NN is Libra, which I feel could explain him flirting after reading it. I don't think that was a bad thing? Libra's are very flirtatious and playful and w/ the NN in Libra, he needs more expansive, freedom love than restrictions and heavy-handedness. Also, do you find a pluto-venus conjunct in your synastry? I'm seeing one just from looking at the planets. IP: Logged |
LuLu
unregistered
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posted April 06, 2006 12:16 PM
I sent it in an e-mail, knowing that he uses his Blackberry to open everything. I sent it before work at 6:30am. I go in at 8am, he goes into his sales model at noon. He sent me an e-mail that same day around 2pm thanking me for the e-mail and telling me that he needed to hear all of that.I have no intentions of trying to change him and told him as much. I fell for him the way he is, why would I want to change that. Yes, there is a pluto conjunct venus in the synastry there. IP: Logged |
Happy Dragon
unregistered
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posted April 06, 2006 06:30 PM
=IP: Logged |
LuLu
unregistered
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posted April 06, 2006 07:22 PM
No problem...here goes...it's been a weepy day anyway.Me
04/26/1978
1:43am
Louisville, Kentucky
Sun - Taurus 5degrees (3rd house)
Moon - Sagittarius 17degrees (11th house)
Ascendant - Capricorn 29degrees
Mercury - Aries 14degrees (2nd house)
Venus - Taurus 28degrees (4th house)
Mars - Leo 5degrees (7th house)
Jupiter - Cancer 2degrees (5th house)
Saturn - Leo 23degrees (7th house)
Uranus - Scorpio 14degrees (9th house)
Neptune - Sagittarius 17degrees (11th house)
Pluto - Libra 14degrees (8th house)
North Node - Libra 5degrees (8th house)
Chiron - Taurus 5degrees (3rd house)
Him
11/02/1977
12:43pm
Atlanta, Georgia
Sun - Scorpio 10degrees (9th house)
Moon - Cancer 24degrees (6th house)
Ascendant - Capricorn 26degrees
Mercury - Scorpio 19degrees (10th house)
Venus - Libra 20degrees (9th house)
Mars - Leo 2degrees (7th house)
Jupiter - Cancer 5degrees (6th house)
Saturn - Leo 29degrees (7th house)
Uranus - Scorpio 11degrees (9th house)
Neptune - Sagittarius 14degrees (11th house)
Pluto - Libra 15degrees (8th house)
North Node - Libra 14degrees (8th house)
Chiron - Taurus 3degrees (3rd house) IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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