posted February 15, 2007 03:48 PM            

I work for a very small company. I work closely with 2 other women, and we essentially all do the same thing, but distribute the work among eachother evenly. Well, we're SUPPOSED to anyway.

When I started here I liked both women right away. However, I noticed after a couple of months that the Cancer (the other is a Sag) had moments where she became snappy, nosey, and condescending - which I HATE. After a couple of months working with her, I really couldn't decide whether I liked her or not. Then, it seemed to get a little better. We still had our moments here and there, but things seemed to be going along ok for a few months...

Well, over the last few weeks she has gotten much worse! It's not just me either. I wasn't even at work yesterday, and the Saggie I work with emailed me at home telling me she was ready to kill her and couldn't take it anymore.

She has this Holier-than-thou mentality. She thinks she can do NO WRONG, and flat out refuses to accept blame for anything, but will be fast as lightening in blaming something on me or the Saggie. She has a superiority complex. She has a martyr complex. She's constantly listening in on our conversations (work-related conversations), nosing through our desks, and she acts like whatever she's working on is priority, and she's ABOVE helping us out when we're overwhelmed with work. She has been there longer than us, but her job is NO DIFFERENT.

Lately she has been slacking off and putting all the work on us. She'll spend an entire day working on one thing and will pass out everything else between the Sag and I. Yes, she passes out work as if SHE'S the one paying us. But of course, we're beneath her. Yet, she somehow always manages to look like a saint, while making me and the Sag look like schmucks.

The Saggie was out today, and I swear, the Cancer has had me on the verge of tears ALL DAY. And let me tell ya folks, it takes A LOT to get me to that point. It started the second she came in today and didn't lift a finger to do any of the "daily duties" that the 3 of us are supposed to share. I've been doing it all, ALL day. She has also pawned several things off on me, because what she's doing is "so much more important." And you know what? She's been working on the same damn thing ALL DAY.

I'm totally disgusted. How do we deal with this kind of behavior? I'm a bit passive-aggressive sarcastic, and I've come back at her with things a few times, but I think that just makes things worse. The Sag is more direct of course, and the couple of times she's confronted the cancer, the cancer literally throws a tantrum, grabs her purse, slams down her keys, and takes off for lunch or a break, or whatever. How can we change things so that we don't kill eachother???

Basic placements:

posted February 16, 2007 10:16 AM              

I hate to say it, but one of you probably has to set yourself up as the Alpha female / Adult to get her to stay in line. You're not dealing with mature person from the sound of it, so treating them like you would handle a bratty kid may be the best solution. When you try and "get back" at her, you're just playing in the game and encouraging it inadvertantly. She'll probably make a stink about it at first and act up, but then she'll stop if you stick at it. (Just like a kid who got away with things for awhile would act when it finds itself suddenly exposed to boundaries and limits.) She's not acting like an equal, so she shouldn't be treated like one. There need to be consequences for the things she does that are disrespectful.

posted February 16, 2007 12:04 PM            

The SH*T just hit the fan. Cancer asked me to help her with a stack of crap she had on her desk piled up since yesterday. I kind of rolled my eyes, but took it. I asked the Saggie if she'd help me, and she sarcastically (so that the Cancer would hear) replied that she would once she finished what she was working on.

Saggie put an order (for one of Cancer's accounts) on her desk. The Cancer immediately jumped down her throat and said, "Thanks a lot for the order! I just told you how busy I was!!" Sag replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't realize you weren't doing any orders!"

Yeah, literally yelling at eachother across the office, and it escalated from there. Now it's just tense in here. This is getting ugly. The Sag told me she's going to have a talk with her today because she can't deal with it anymore. Maybe that will help, but this is not good. My pisces moon does NOT do well in tense, non-peaceful environments.

posted February 16, 2007 12:33 PM              

It is time to stop playing the victim here. Document each and EVERY incident with this woman. If your Sagittarius person is present, get her to witness the incidents on your document.

This woman can't be an angel to EVERYONE else. Find other people she has annoyed, attacked, tricked, etc. Once you have ten or twenty incidents, you and your Sag arrange for a meeting with your boss.

At the meeting, lay out the incidents, why they are causing problem with daily work, and what you want to happen going forward. Promise to give an update on any future issues. Continue watching this woman and documenting everything she does that is incorrect, illegal, immoral, etc. If you get a face to face meeting with your boss this womand and the both of you, KEEP YOUR COOL. This woman's game is to make YOU look bad. Repeat each and EVERY complaint you made to your boss.

This is NOT a peronal issue, it is a BUSINESS issue. If this person is as bad as you say she is, she is a problem, and should probably be fired.

BEFORE doing all this, talk to the woman, make it clear what your issues are, why they are issues, and what you expect her to do when at work. If she refuses, begin your documenting. Be certain to mention to your boss during your meeting that you tried to work things out directly with this woman, but she refused to cooperate.

Business-like,