posted April 16, 2007 10:29 AM              

I'm going through my Saturn return (in the last half) and a potential relationship is on the horizon - he also has Saturn in the 8th. If this pans out, I'm going to have to face a lot of these issues and I'm a bit nervous about it.

posted April 16, 2007 02:47 PM            

I have a lot of things in my chart to account for intimacy issues, so, it is difficult to say which thoughts, feelings, and behaviors correspond to the Saturn placement.

I have seen a very distinct pattern in my relationships.
I come on like a Romeo and full of love, hope, and desire,
but, the closer I get, the more critical I become,
and the higher my standard climbs,
until I become very disconnected from my partner,
and the relationship ends.
I put the partner on a pedestal so high,
that, when its pulled out from under them,
they come down so hard,
they end up underground.
This is usually as painful for me as it is for them.

It does seem to correspond to the sharp contrast
between my Jupiter in Leo in the 7th,
and that Saturn in Virgo in the 8th.

posted April 16, 2007 06:14 PM              

I don't trust anyone. Everyone I have put faith in, shared myself with, has abandoned me or catastrophically hurt me.

My family either ignored me or belittled me- rampant mental/emotional abuse. They in no way "protected" me as a child- which helped to lead me toward an adulthood where I never ever want to surrender my armor.

I only allow people to get "so close" but most of "me" is kept quiet. I have learned that people cannot "handle" the intensity of my emotions. Every, every time I have let go, my friends/lovers/family physically walk away.

Every lover I have had has cheated on me. They do not acknowledge me in public (you know, as in "this is my girlfriend.")
The man who asked to me to marry him broke up with me when I discovered I was pregnant-on the day we were supposed to get married.

Whether these things happen because of a psychological issue, or because of my aspect, I cannot answer.

posted April 16, 2007 07:26 PM              

I find that the more I appreciate and love myself and how I am uniquely me, the more that others do also. I think it is the same with feelings, the more you respect your own feelings and nurture them and love them, the more others will let you cry and express emotions around them without walking away. Self-Acceptance can be a difficult path but it pays off in the end.

During this Saturn Return, I feel kind of stuck in limbo between the wounded girl I once was and the wonderful woman I am becoming. It feels very slow and hard sometimes, and I do worry about slipping back into old habits and judgements. Some days I feel in tune with everything and radiate love, other days I am festering about my wounds and how much they hurt - but I know I am healing.

posted April 16, 2007 08:47 PM              

That's wonderful for you, Neon Artemis (great name, BTW!) and elegantly stated. Good journeys to you on this path of healing.

posted April 17, 2007 01:09 AM            

quote:

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I find that the more I appreciate and love myself and how I am uniquely me, the more that others do also. I think it is the same with feelings, the more you respect your own feelings and nurture them and love them, the more others will let you cry and express emotions around them without walking away. Self-Acceptance can be a difficult path but it pays off in the end.

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Nicely stated. I think you're right.

posted April 19, 2007 12:40 PM            

quote:

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I too, have been betrayed in the most painful ways in relationships - but I've done a lot of inner work on myself to overcome my issues and I can feel flowers growing and blossoming in my heart, where before it was barren and charred. I just have to trust the universe, and learn to trust myself again. There is love out there for all of us, at all times, we just have to clear the areas of ourselves that are painfully blocked from receiving it.

---

I’m so glad you feel this way! I totally agree with your vision about this I hope you find someone soon that will help you (slowly) surrender and that you will end up feeling all the past pain was worth it, for personal growth and help you truly value “the right person”.

When you succeed, let me know, cause I have problems trusting love and people right now and I could use some inspiration, from “happy endings”!

Heart--Shaped Cross,

quote:

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It does seem to correspond to the sharp contrast between my Jupiter in Leo in the 7th and that Saturn in Virgo in the 8th.

---

All people I have known that shared the form of loving (and stop loving) you have described, had Sun conjunct Uranus (including my ex-girlfriend, who was also a Scorpio). I don’t want to jump into conclusions because I don’t know you, so I would like to ask you this, if you don’t mind answering:
-Do you have deep feelings of emptiness that make you compensate by doing many things in your life (perhaps in a restless way) and searching constantly for all type of stimulus and emotions?
-Do you constantly search for passion in love relationships and have a hard time feeling ok with love once the initial passion diminishes?
-Do you have feelings of dependence of your loved one, when you’re in the “partner idealization” stage, as well as a deep insecurity of losing her?
-Is there a lot of anger and frustration after a while, which make it very difficult for you to have empathy for your partner’s feelings and could eventually get you to be very harsh towards them?

posted April 19, 2007 09:33 PM              

I Have Saturn in the 8th. I have develop a split persona of myself. One side public, One side Private. My public side loves to meet people. But my private side loves privacy. My public side respects women in different forms. My private side wants to be sexually involved with them.

So far I've been flowing with my split personality for a while. It's rough, but still cruising.

------------------
Hank Campbell
Far Rockaway, Queens, NY
*Sun: 8th House/Leo, Moon: 3rd House/Pisces, Venus: 8th House/Leo, Mars: 6th House/Cancer, Jupiter: 8th House/Leo, Saturn: 8th House/Virgo, ASC: Capricorn

posted April 20, 2007 08:36 AM            

-Do you have deep feelings of emptiness that make you compensate by doing many things in your life (perhaps in a restless way) and searching constantly for all type of stimulus and emotions?

Yes. But there are numerous indications of restlessness in my chart (Moon in the 1st, Merc in the 10th, Mars in the 10th, Merc conjunct Mars, Uranus in the 10th, Urannus/MC, Venus/Uranus, Sun/Uranus, Moon op Jupiter; - I'm pretty sure I've read at least one interpretation of each of these aspects/placements which indicated restlessness). I think what I would characterize as the "emptiness" I feel comes mostly from the Pisces SouthNode, and the close semi-square from the Moon to Neptune. Possibly the square from Saturn (chart/asc ruler) to Neptune. For some reason, I associate Pisces/Neptune with emptiness.

-Do you constantly search for passion in love relationships and have a hard time feeling ok with love once the initial passion diminishes?

Yes. But I would look to Venus in Scorpio, Venus in retrograde, Venus/Uranus, and Pluto square the Asc/Dsc axis.

-Do you have feelings of dependence of your loved one, when you’re in the “partner idealization” stage, as well as a deep insecurity of losing her?

Yes. Again, common with Scorpios, and anyone with a 1st house Moon (especially ruling Cancer on the 7th).

-Is there a lot of anger and frustration after a while, which make it very difficult for you to have empathy for your partner’s feelings and could eventually get you to be very harsh towards them?

I actually don't have much experience with relationships at that level, although I would agree that I've experienced something like this at least once, maybe twice. I tend to look for an ideal (venusRx, jupiter in 7th, pisces southnode), and when the projections evaporate, I can become critical and distant. What I've found most frustrating is that my partners seem increasingly happy with the relationship, and with me, while I am increasingly unfulfilled, and basically dying inside. I have gone from being a very selfless and generous lover, to withholding all forms of intimacy. But this never lasts long. I pick women who are proud, and they never stick around when this kind of dynamic begins.

I think a large part of my problem is that I do not listen to my doubts in the beginning. I am so eager for the experience of love, on any level, that I ignore things which might (and do) become a problem later. Frequently, I have been with women I was not especially attracted to, and denied the fact that this is very important to me. I guess I thouhgt it was superficial. I've always had issues like that. Sex, in general, was a topic to be avoided in my home, and, even when people would kiss on t.v., my father would make an uncomfortable grumbling/mumbling sound. He was trying to be funny, but I always knew it came from some deeper insecurity. He's a triple Aquarius, and an invertibrate; my mother is a cold, domineering career woman (Virgo Sun, Leo Moon/Pluto, Gemini Asc/Uranus, Mars square Moon, Mars square Venus).