posted February 25, 2008 12:49 PM              

The first time we met was 3 years ago when I and my ex Aquarius bf took my pooch – a birthday gift from him, to a nearby animal hospital for vaccination.

To be honest, the Cancer vet is not close to what you'd normally call attractive looking, and I surely didn't take notice of him at all in the first time. But my dog was really weak and we had to make quite a regular visit, then gradually I started to feel that there's something about him that always caught my eyes. One thing for sure, he always seems very warm and caring to my pet and everyone's. I always enjoy watching him doing stuff with my dog and is really impressed with his gentle and caring mannerisms. But that was all - I thought was attracted to his good manners and had no other intention towards him.

But a funny thing started from here, one day after an appointment, my Scorpio mom who is my constant companion to the hospital suddenly blurted out that she somehow could sense that the vet is attracted to me. She said she saw 'something in his eyes' in the way he looked at me and told me to observe him carefully. I did and we came to see that he seemed to be extra kind towards my pooch. Once my dog got really hurt and I cried in front of him, the next day he called to ask about my dog's condition. But I wasn't home so he chatted with my mom really nicely. Somehow he seemed to warm towards our family - making jokes with us, giving extra vitamins free of charge, looking REALLY happy when he saw me walked into the clinic (I definitely saw his eyes lit up!).

But despite all this, I told my mom and myself not to think of anything else because the vet always seems to behave in a normal way. I'm probably just a regular customer like everyone. Besides, I my ex Aqua and I had been going steady for almost 12 years (since high school) and we actually planned to marry the next year. Having romantic thought of other men seemed really wrong for me.

A year later things somehow didn't work out between me and my Aqua and we broke up. But I also honestly had no dream of getting together with someone else – the vet in particular - because it was not realistic. Eventhough I knew in my heart that I’ve fallen for him for sure. But I wasn’t sure it all I had seen or felt was real.

Not long after my breakup, I went to the clinic again and this time something happened! In the treatment room, I caught him looking at me with the warmest gaze I’d seen! You could say we locked eyes for the longest time ever! And the funny thing was, no one – not even my hawk-eye Scorpio mom – saw this! It was so sweet yet dream-like. After I walked out of the clinic, I wasn’t so sure it all happened. But the feeling was simply magical.

Two weeks after that, my pooch hurt his eyes badly and we went there again – only to be told he was away and might not come back because he’d got a scholarship to go abroad. I was saddened and thought we might never see each other again. Then out of the blue - he called! And the first question after saying hi was “how’s your dog? I heard he’s got injured.”!!!!

Stupidly (I still blame my bluntness until today), I kept the conversation base entirely on my pooch’s illness! But I did promise to take the dog in for a check-up later, which I did make another stupid mistake. He came up to me with that twinkle in his eyes again and all – but this time I was feeling so self-conscious and quite embarrassed, so I avoided his eyes during our conversation. (I’m always like this whenever I’m around someone I really have feelings for) He looked quite hurt (I saw that in his eyes too). And things have been quite distant between us since. I’ve so much feeling for him inside me but just couldn’t express myself well enough. I wanted to be friendly with him but I just couldn’t seem to lose that shyness in me and he’d always keep some distance but remains very friendly with my mom as ever. Once in a while, he’d ask how my work had been and I’d give him a one-word answer. The feeling was still there but somehow I just couldn’t get that magic started again.

And it has been going on until December last year – I heard through my mom that he thought of taking a scholarship to become a UN volunteer in Sudan. I knew I had to take action. Heck, it’s been almost 4 years, and I’ve had enough with this! So I bought him a big Lonely Planet book (knowing he’s a Cancerian he’d probably appreciate this) as a New Year’s gift and inserted a small thank-you note inside. Being the shy girl I am, the note wasn’t intimate but it was the warmest and most sincere message thanking him for taking good care of my pet and wishing him all the best. And deep down, I wanted to trust his Cancerian intuition that he would know how I feel.

Then I got busy right after New Year. So I let my mom take my pooch to see him for his monthly vaccination in January. And he didn’t mention anything about the gift at all. But then last week, my pooch hurt his feet and my mom took him to the clinic again. This time, he asked her if I’ve been busy! This was something he’s never done before because he always seems to guard his feelings/manners/words really well.
So she gave him an update and came home telling me that he’s back in his super friendly mode with that twinkle in his eyes again!

I’m so sorry this is quite long. But I really need all of your expertise on this. Do you think there’s any hope between us at all? I read in LG’s Love Sign that usually when Cancerian and Taurus (I’m more of a Taurus than a Cap) meet, it usually takes very long, long time they hit it off. Oh I hope I’m one of those cases!

posted February 25, 2008 01:34 PM            

He knows you through his surgery. I can appreciate why he is reluctant to make an approach in such circumstances.

It's leap year this year - maybe you can seize your chance. O.K, a marriage proposal is a bit drastic but maybe you could try asking him out for dinner.

If it was me I'd ask him on the 29th and tell him a gentleman wouldn't refuse.

~faint heart never won fair lady~

---------------------------

From Wikipedia

In the English speaking a world, it is a tradition that women may propose marriage only on leap years. While it has been argued that the tradition was initiated by Saint Patrick or Brigid of Kildare in 5th century Ireland, it is dubious as the tradition has not been attested before the 19th century. Supposedly, a 1288 law by Queen Margaret of Scotland (then age five and living in Norway), fines were levied if a marriage proposal was refused by the man....

posted February 25, 2008 01:43 PM              

I know someone ought to step out a bit more. But the thing is I'm quite shy and so is he!

Frustrating, isn't it?

I certainly never knew that women can propose in the leap year! But I surely feel that I must do something before he leaves for his scholarship.

posted February 25, 2008 01:53 PM            

I'm hardly shy but I'd feel nervous calling up and asking.

I'd say I'd like to see you and go on a date with you before you leave - and I'd make sure to mention about it being Leap Year. That way I get to retain my femininity and be bold at the same time.

I don't care if it is old-fashioned, absolutely no way would I ever propose (marriage) to a man unless it was Leap Year.

posted February 26, 2008 01:35 AM            

First off you need to somehow meet him without dogs so he has no more excuses to associate you with work. Ask mom where he hangs out, what he does on his free time. Accidentally meet and chat is nice. Remember, being too direct can have a backlash since he loves to think he's the one who make the move. Let him believe so.

Better meet casually, show enough interest and encourage him and let him come after you. He will. That opposite attraction is on your side.

posted February 26, 2008 08:15 AM              

Bluemoon - seems like I must be the one who take the initiative, right? But aren't Crabs good at initiating? I'm beginning to wonder if this vet is rather stationary than slow......

Starrym - For my Bull AC, I hate to rush into a relationship too. For how long did your ex Crab take to finally get to the marathon finishing line?

8thMoon - I wish it would be that easy! But being Thai, it's more complicated than in the West.

Sarai - an accident-prone pooche - that's one of the blessings in disguise! But asking him out, again, the cultural thing gets the way. Girls are getting less shy these days but not me. I guess I'm still one of the conservative left around....

LeoCat - can you tell me more about your Crab ex? How long did it take before you get together?

Ranti - sawasdee ka! we're posting from the same city! and even have the same kind of job!

Thanks for your advice, I'd love to create a dog-less opportunity too. But a 'chance' meeting with him is rarer than me bumping into Keanu Reeves (I've met him 3 times in two different cities across the world!) I can't believe I've run into many friends and accquaintances all over town, but never met him anywhere apart from the clinic. How sad...

Anyway, how exactly 'unemotional' is your Cap girl? Maybe there's a trait I can relate to?

posted February 26, 2008 09:34 AM              

in a situation like yours now , i would suggest , you keep in touch and make sure that he knows you are making an effort .

even if you are shy , just try being with him , even silence speaks and we understand it very well .
spend time , he will know .

posted March 03, 2008 04:54 AM            

A big sawasdee and hope all is going well with you and the good vet. The Cap girl in question is also working extra hard at school too so I couldn't blame her for not being very chatty.

posted March 05, 2008 02:17 PM              

Life's rather slow for me at the moment too. Perhaps with a little tinge of surrealism not unlike yours.

Nothing much happened between me and the good vet, yet. Over the past three weeks (my dog is sick again!)we only exchanged friendly words and smiles, that's all. Sigh, sigh, sigh!

posted March 05, 2008 05:16 PM              

4 years ? That sounds like purgatory. How would you feel if tomorrow he was gone from your life for good ? It's like you are having a imaginary relationship without the fun bits.Do you have any planets in the 12th by the way ?

posted March 06, 2008 01:51 AM            

Promise me next time you won't leave his clinic without giving him some clue. If you feel it's too much to just ask him out then how about lending him a book by your favorite writer that you happen to bring along, so you can call later and ask how he like it. I don't know, think up something and act. Don't let your shyness get in the way.

posted March 06, 2008 11:09 AM              

I do have Mars in 12th! Does that mean anything? All this hesitation and shyness, I mean?

Ranti - I tried, really. But the timing never seemed right for the past few weeks. Too many people were around and it would become the centre of attention if I make an obvious friendly gesture towards him. But I PROMISE you the next time I will do my best. Cause I realise I don't want to let him walk out of my life without knowing where I stand, just like VTP said.

Thank you both again for the kind words of support. I'll keep you posted!

posted March 06, 2008 03:29 PM              

I have my Venus in Cap in the 12th. I know the feeling of being scared to risk it. Trust me. Caps fear risking their feelings. I have missed out many times on girls I really liked as I never told them how I felt. I just admired them from afar. Kind of like an unrequited love. Sooner or later if you don't take a risk they will eventually leave your life and think you are not interested. Then you will feel like you are heart broken. You will beat yourself up about missing out and it may well affect your future happiness. Better to live without regrets. I can tell you that 'finding' out is always easier to live with afterwards whatever the outcome. Because at least you tried and you found out the score. It could be that you have been wasting all your time all along as he is not free. What has he been doing for 4 years for example ?

Sometimes it is better to get rejected so you can get a release from the situation that is causing you pain.

Feelings like "if only I had made the move" are not easy to live with as you will never know.

So I say to you. Muster your courage and take the plunge and find out. He sounds a caring man, so he will respect your feelings and that you told him.

Think of it this way. You have one life. So make the most of your opportunities. What difference does it make if he doesn't want you ? He would be the one who has lost out. Value yourself.

Come on Cappy Girl you can take control of your life doing this.

Good luck

posted March 06, 2008 04:27 PM              

What sign is your Mars position in and what sign is on your 12th house cusp ?

posted March 07, 2008 02:26 AM              

I've been in a 12 years relationship with my Aqua ex who made the first move. So it had been easier for me in the past. You see, I never had to be the one who initiates! I'd really like to a lady waiting for the man to come and woo me. But hey, I guess such old fashion gesture doesn't apply here ; )

My Mars in Taurus. And this is the rest of my chart.

Venus - Aqua
Sun,Mercuy - Cap
Moon - Leo
Sat - Gem

His chart
Virgo Rising
Sun, Mercury - Cancer
Mars - Virgo
Venus - Leo

posted March 08, 2008 03:37 PM              

A Cap woman would make some good aspects to my Sun,Venus,Mars,Pluto

A nice "Taurean" lady would give me a Grand Trine and trigger off my VTP.