Author
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Topic: Do you think we model the relationships of our childhood rolemodel?
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GypseeWind Knowflake Posts: 1376 From: Dayton,Ohio USA Registered: May 2009
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posted September 04, 2009 05:03 PM
And if so, to what extent?I've been thinkin about this alot lately, and it occured to me that the main relationships I was around, were, my parents, my grandparents, and my aunt and uncle. I then realized that all three of those relationships were people that were neighboring signs. I think there is alot to be said for relationships with your zodiac neighbor, yet it always seems like someone has the upper hand. Sooo, in my life, I go either way, to the Scorpio's in front of me, or the Capricorns one the other side. Curious, isn't it? I grew up in an enviroment of high tension, high drama, DEEP feelings that swung wildly from love to hate. I swore that would never be me, as I didn't think my nerves could take it, but here I am. So what do you think? Do we inevitably become what we've seen? Is it a trap? A test? Karma? IP: Logged |
MysticMelody Moderator Posts: 233 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 04, 2009 06:44 PM
I grew up in a household where nothing was ever said, never saw my parents fight, never saw them hug and kiss. My dad would get mad because my Cancer mom would get upset with me for whatever reason and he would yell. I guess I yell when I am really mad too, but then I also show ridiculous amount of love and affection to my daughter and I'm not afraid of showing affection to others around her either. I think some things are ingrained and come out under stress but I also think in some things we go the extreme opposite of behaviors we disliked about our early role models.
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GypseeWind Knowflake Posts: 1376 From: Dayton,Ohio USA Registered: May 2009
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posted September 05, 2009 03:00 AM
Yes, MM, I see what your saying to a point. I grew up with two heroin addicts, an alcoholic and a mentally ill person. So my life was just chaos. And I said NEVER will I do that! also people in my family gave kids up for adoption, drop them off for extended like years, visits to other family members. Then go off and make more families here and there, until there are so dang many of us, its just weird. So I had all 3 children with one person= karma numero uno eraser and I have NEVER let my child go with another relative for more than visits. Even when I was struggling to finacially keep them, I vehemently refused to let someone take them. That was my breaking of a cycle that goes back to my mothers grandmother. They all, every generation, gave their kids away. So I'm erasing that.i guess what I am asking though, in seeking a mate, so you think that your models creep in there? Whether you are concious or not. Like I had a huge ephinany after coming to LL, that I love Scorps and Virgos cause that is my Mom and Dad! I still chase them, just in a different form. I hope I haven't lost you there, but I'm counting on the fact that you know what I mean. Is acknowledgment enought for escape? IP: Logged |
GypseeWind Knowflake Posts: 1376 From: Dayton,Ohio USA Registered: May 2009
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posted September 05, 2009 03:00 AM
*dpIP: Logged |
lian3688 Knowflake Posts: 54 From: The Orient Registered: Jul 2009
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posted September 09, 2009 10:02 AM
Gypsee:My father is shorter than my mother. And now it is a joke in the family that i am the rebel daughter and my brother being the good son, he takes the role model of our parents his wife is taller than he is. Everybody knows that before, there was no way he would accept a gf taller than he is. Family patterns? IP: Logged |
cpn_edgar_winner Knowflake Posts: 1242 From: Toledo, OH Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 09, 2009 03:26 PM
not really for me. like mm said, i pretty much deliberately live polar opposite. and raised my kids the opposite of how i was raised....BUT...i will say, as i get older, i find myself understanding thier (certain) behaviors more so than ever. but hten again...there are some things i will never understand...just have to accept it...then again, my family isn't much in my life the last 20 years or so, that might also factor in. i wonder often how it is that childhood is such a short time in our lives and yet so much of our adult lives come back to things that happened then...it just goes to show you how very important those formative years really are. i definately think being raised in an unstable home has led me to move a lot, be prone to initiate drastic changes..that kind of thing, but then again maybe it is just me and how i am. IP: Logged |
GypseeWind Knowflake Posts: 1376 From: Dayton,Ohio USA Registered: May 2009
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posted September 10, 2009 02:07 AM
See I get what your saying.It can be both ways. Like for example, my mother made me her slave of sorts, and her babysitter. I swore I wouldn't do that either. Now I've got an expectant daughter who can't boil water or wash her own clothes, cause I went so over board trying to not be my Mom. Sometimes we overindulge with what we didn't have. Now I wonder if my daughter will raise her kid super strict, the opposite of me, and like her Grandmother, thereby starting the whole dang cycle all over again?? (well my mom wasn't super strict, there were people i knew whose moms were worse, she was just a slave-driver) IP: Logged |
hikoro Knowflake Posts: 53 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted September 10, 2009 02:24 AM
Mm....good question.I like to think that if I ever have children, I would like to take the good things of my childrearing and mix them with other good things that I never saw/experienced during my childrearing...such as new tips you learn in books and things like that. But, I grew up in a very unstable home, child abuse and domestic violence and to this day, I still have no desire to get married or have children. As a matter of fact, I like change, movement...if things are too good between a significant other and I, I want to stir things up or just leave that person and wander off... I am way too scared of history repeating itself so I rather die alone and child-free. I think that for history not repeating itself, a person has to be aware of the damages and the obsoleteness of certain aspects of the way you were raised...but not everybody goes over they way they were raised, therefore, these people don't make a conscious effort to improve themselves or improve and think of better ways to raise their children. I am very aware of what I saw and of what happened to me and I definitely know what I would never want a child to see/experience but I am not sure if in any given moment, the monster could suddenly make an appearance, thus hurting someone I care very much for. IP: Logged | |