posted March 21, 2004 10:39 PM         

Aquas are a lot of fun, I am close to two or three right now, and I love them. I wish I could marry one, only we are always so far apart on that issue, Aquas and I. I do not want to live with anyone and Aquas like company. They are not very passionate and get scared if you yell at them.

other than that, you are right there is really nothing wrong with them...are you lusting after the Taurus in your heart and feel guilty about it? You are entitled to fantasy, nothing wrong with that.

maybe the Aqua needs some prodding? I know they don't like to travel around much being fixed signs, so you may have to push him into a romantic event.

posted March 21, 2004 11:31 PM         

As for what happened with my Taurus.... I still cry when I think about... Hard to know where to start but the Pisces Woman/Taurus Man section of Linda's Love Signs sums it up quite fittingly, only it was he that ended up leaving me and not the other way around.... Yes, to be sure, I drove him to it. But it was not intentional nor desired by me. It all stemmed from a lack of understanding and stubborness on his part in regards to my friends. Friends of the opposite sex, particularly. He was quite possessive and could not understand how I could possibly carry on a conversation with another guy and yet not be interested in more. I tried time and again to explain that I loved him. He asked me why I felt the need to talk to other men if I truly loved him. He admitted it wasn't rational on his part to feel this way but that nevertheless he did and that he would appreciate if I respected his wishes. I did not because I COULD not, you see. It is my nature to be gregarious. I knew that I was not doing anything wrong. But more to the point, I really had to TRY to not talk to my guy friends and it was so unnatural. I knew it brought displeasure to my Taurus but I wished he would just understand that I am interested in people, ALL people. I also felt sad that he did not trust my goodness. It made me feel as though he thought I was inherently deceptive. The sad thing is that his constant displeasure and accusations regarding this matter resulted in me actually becoming interested in someone else and when he found out (because I was too afraid to tell him and knew he wouldn't understand how it happened anyway), he told me that all along he was right and that I am liar. I guess I did lie by ommission. But the even sadder thing is that I truly was not interested in this "other" person. I only responded positively to him at the time as a direct reaction to my Taurus withholding approval and affection. I felt lonely and this person, indeed any person who paid attention to me at the time, would have been received favorably. Therefore, my interest in this person was not really "interest" so much as just being starved for affection I suppose. Nevertheless when I tearfully tried to explain to my Taurus, he would not hear it. After five years of being together, he cut off all ties. He told me not to call or come to his house and he told me to forget he exists and move on. A year later, I found out that there was more to the story. Two weeks after he broke things off with me, he married a 19 yr old (he was 24 at the time) Russian girl, who has since left him and gone back to her home country. I found out completely by accident after running into his brother in law who told me the whole story. I was crushed, though it was a year after the fact and we had not spoken. To this day I still feel the pain. After he left me, I was sick in bed for a long time. I fainted twice and had an extremely high grade fever. My mother stayed with me the whole time as she feared I would try to do something harmful to myself. She was right. I did want to die but truly I was far too weak to do anything about it. I was quite delirious at the time, lost much weight and hardly rose from my bed at all. By the way, his name is Bill, my Taurus guy). So sad that I still think of him as my Taurus and he is not even mine at all.... He actually (after all this time) sent me an email on my birthday this year, wishing me a great day and happy new year. I was so shocked and not sure how to respond that I barely said anything at all, for fear that I might betray that I still do love him . I merely thanked him and wished him a good new year as well. He never responded back, which led me to conclude that he was merely feeling guilty perhaps, at the pain he probably knew he caused me and wanted to do something "nice". That is the only thing I can think of...that he had a weak moment. HOw I longed to ask him how he was, and say more, but I guard myself so fiercely because I know in my heart that he is the one person who could break me again and I know that I could not handle being sick the way I was when he left me. If I ever let that happen to me again, I am done for.

You asked if I was lusting after him and to that I answer emphatically, NO. WHen I truly love someone, it is far more spiritual than this. I do not think of them in lustful terms but moreso in divine terms, if that makes any sense. I am aware the deep bond which trancends the physical.

posted March 22, 2004 03:38 PM         

Sorry to hear about the Taurus, yes we can be jealous, especially if mercury is and venus are in Taurus too. And Pisces are attracted to lots of people it's true, I knew a Pisces friend who loved to talk to any woman who smelled good, that he told me was his criteria. Of course I probably heard it wrong, but my Taurean mind was thinking that's it? some perfume? But he probably meant it in a different way, more instinctual.

Pisces help a lot of people and I care about my Pisces friends a lot, but I couldn't be intimate with one, simply because I would fall under a spell and feel helpless, with no control. And to be under the control of someone who is so guileless is scary for a Taurus who needs some practical control over his/her life. Probably you are better off as friends.

I am different in that I have mercury in Gemini/7th house, and Venus in Aries/5th house, so I can be a little too social for my partner's taste. I get that complaint a lot.
We all need a variety of friends to be healthy.

Here are some of your upcoming transits:
Saturn trine Sun: Further training

1 March 2004 until 9 April 2004: At this time the circumstances of your life and your own inner energies are working quite well together. But this influence will not seem especially lucky; rather, your life as a whole will run smoothly, and whatever you do will come out well. Without any special sense of effort, you are actually able to make significant progress and get a great deal done. Take advantage of this and accomplish as much as possible. If an opportunity arises for further training to expand the range of your experience, take it, because you will build up a bulwark against possible adversity later on. The more you accomplish at this time, the easier it will be to live up to demands that will be made upon you a few years from now.

This is a time of preparation for the climaxes that come at the opposition and conjunction transits. Therefore you should use this period to make your world strong and secure against difficulties. This is also a good time for building up your physical strength rather than wasting it. If you waste your energy now, it won't mean immediate trouble, but in a few years, when you need strength and energy, you may not have it.

This is a good time to win recognition from others for your achievements. Employers or others with whom you work will be impressed with your diligence. And you should strive to impress them, because in a few years your goals will be challenged, but if you have convinced others that you are worthwhile, you will overcome those obstacles more easily.

Neptune trine Pluto: Strange compulsions

1 March 2004 until 30 March 2004: This influence quickens your interest in the hidden psychological forces that are operating in your life. This can happen in several ways.

First, you may become involved in a group or movement whose purpose is to expand consciousness - for example, one of the various human-potential groups that are thriving today. You may not feel satisfied with the way you have managed your life up till now, and you want to understand and gain greater control of the strange compulsions that everyone experiences from time to time, often with disastrous results. These compulsions are emotionally based drives that seem to operate without any bidding from the conscious mind. They often make you behave in ways that are not appropriate to the situation. Under this influence you will want to change this aspect of your mind, so this is a good time to begin psychotherapy, if you feel that is the best course to take.

Another effect of this influence is to create interest in mystical and occult subjects, again with the aim of increasing your understanding of the universe and of yourself. You are not interested in power over others, which attracts some people to these subjects, or in mystery for its own sake. You are interested in learning what the deepest aspects of the universe can teach you about self-mastery.

If you have already embarked on such a path, you may very well make a significant breakthrough in your search now. Your soul-life may reach an intensity that you have never felt before, increasing your understanding with totally unprecedented insights. But this knowledge will not be abstract - it will transform your life and your ability to experience it.

Saturn trine Uranus: Working for change

20 May 2004 until 6 June 2004: This is a time of stability and creative balance between the old and the new in your life. You are able to live within a structure and also engage in new and stimulating experiences, which keep you from becoming stale. Any changes you have made or any structures that have been changed in the last several years can become a permanent part of your life now. These changes are no longer challenges, but interesting aspects of your life.

You have a feeling of patience about what is happening. You can see the need for change, but you do not feel like rushing out and overthrowing everything. You can make the change in an orderly manner. You can present ideas to others in a very careful, logical way that still manages to impress them with the originality of your thinking. Your employers and superiors will especially appreciate your disciplined approach to new and original ideas.

Any task that requires long and disciplined application - learning a new skill, studying a new body of knowledge or simply working patiently at a long task - is favored by this influence, as long as it is leading up to some kind of creative change. Tedious tasks that leave no room for new experiences will not be so useful to you at this time. You should be working for change, even if slowly and patiently.

In fact you must not allow yourself to fall into a rut. Even change can become routine, if you go around in circles with the same changes. That is not the proper function of this influence.

I took these from astro.com. See how Saturn is affecting your life now, making you a little down. You are looking on the past now and that can worry you. Strange compulsions-if you know these transits are going to affect you, it's easier to ride them out. Life seems mundane now.

The new full moon in Aries isn't helping you. You feel you want to start something new, but now you have the nose to the grindstone. Get out there and do something close to nature, walk in a park, go to the ocean, be close to the awakening of Spring. Be close to the ritual of the start of new life.

Be careful about these men in your life. Be neutral, do not think about the future with them. Take them as friends only. When you meet a new man, be sure to watch how he "plays ball". When you trust him, does he trust you back? When you throw the ball, act trusting does he throw it right back at you, or wait a while, analyzing you?

Does this man require proof of your affections, or have demands? Do you think you are worthy or good if this man is happy? Be careful to make sure this man is worthy of your trust, and be the change you want to see in your life. Always keep changing things towards a trusting relationship.
Your Pisces Sun is opposite your Virgo Ascendant, and you have Venus in Aries. It's tough to find someone to measure up for you, and you want to be rewarded by an equal amount of love that you give.

But nobody will ever match what you give, so you will have to channel the energy elsewhere, and at the same find healthy relationships that revolve around friendship. You will always need these kinds of friends, outside a love relationship, even if you are fulfilled in love. It's normal for you, and eventually your lover will have to accept it, change, or leave.

You may feel abandonment anxiety if you feel your lover may leave, but do not be afraid, because this is change and it's good. When you welcome change, nothing bad will happen, and with a support system you are protected.

I think you are doing the right thing but making new friends but be sure you are fulfilled in other creative, artistic ways too, and make sure you are ultra honest with your lover. That's the only way you can get him to be honest with you.

Aquas do not like to talk about emotions all the time, but he must talk about them with you.
That way you will feel more fulfilled.

Shame is where you judge yourself, it leads to lower self esteem, so do not beat yourself up so bad over the Taurus. You have nothing to be ashamed about.

posted March 22, 2004 03:40 PM         

Mercury Opposition Saturn   

At times you may be very hard on yourself or your lover for mistakes or misunderstandings that were not really anyone's fault.

You will learn that it is better not to criticise until you have had time to think over the situation and judge whether your harsh response is warranted. With time and practice, you can certainly develop the ability to stand back and see your relationship clearly.

From time to time you may take the details of an affair too much to heart, or you may overlook something that doesn't mean much to you but is very important to your lover. Make a special effort to explain what has happened so that it won't recur, and then simply forgive and forget.

Mercury Trine Pluto   

Although you cannot always put it into words, you always know right from wrong in a relationship, and the principles you apply to your personal affairs are sound, effective and reliable.

You will get along best with a lover whose principles agree with yours or one who will take your word in this area.

You may tolerate a partner who differs radically from you when you would be better off ending the relationship and seeking out someone whose outlook is closer to yours.

These aspects say to me you need someone who thinks along the same lines you do.

posted March 22, 2004 03:52 PM         

The health issue you mentioned comes from your Sun in the 6th. When angry you repress it. Do not do that. Let you anger flow, you will always get sick if you do not let you emotions out. Being around an Aqua all the time is tough on your deep, strong intense emotions. You must find a way to express them.  

Again I believe you have Mars in the 5th not the 6th since you are warm and expressive.
Be careful to make sure you are not the provider or the dependent in a financial relationship with your lover. ideally you ought to be completely separate financially because there could be power plays later on.

Neptune tells us what your dreams are. Your Neptune is in the 4th-you are caught up in family memories sometimes, and your Neptune is Square your Sun, the collective yearning to merge with another fights with the individual part of you. You may see your lover as cold sometimes, or you may feel suddenly cold towards him for no reason-worrying that you are losing your identity.

Be sure to read your transits often, and pay close attention to Saturn (limitations) and Neptune (What you must have to be happy)

Below are more important aspects from astro.com

Saturn in the Eleventh House    11th hs

In love you are a realist who does not usually get wound up in the peripheral aspects of a love relationship.

Spending too much time in emotional irrelevancies leaves you bored and yearning for a solid relationship.

In a love affair, friendship and honesty are of prime importance, even overshadowing the more physical aspects.

Once an affair is established, it may be easier to move on to the more delicate facets of love that you eschewed earlier.

Saturn in Love

Saturn in Leo   

You look at sexual enjoyment more systematically than most. You like to plan a love affair carefully, for you feel more at ease when you are seeking pleasure within a well- defined environment.

You probably have a fairly clear idea of exactly what sexual pleasures you prefer and the techniques to achieve them.

In general, you pace your pleasures and do not bite off more than you can chew. Occasionally you may be a slow starter, but you are almost certainly a strong finisher.

Mercury Opposition Saturn   

At times you may be very hard on yourself or your lover for mistakes or misunderstandings that were not really anyone's fault.

You will learn that it is better not to criticise until you have had time to think over the situation and judge whether your harsh response is warranted. With time and practice, you can certainly develop the ability to stand back and see your relationship clearly.

From time to time you may take the details of an affair too much to heart, or you may overlook something that doesn't mean much to you but is very important to your lover. Make a special effort to explain what has happened so that it won't recur, and then simply forgive and forget.

Mars Opposition Saturn   

At odd and unexpected times, you may experience periods of sexual inhibition for no logical reason.

With a relatively understanding lover, this should not present a problem; sometimes you are in the mood and sometimes you aren't, and that's all there is to it. If this causes a problem of satisfaction for your lover, you can solve this by taking the passive role for a time. As they say, relax and enjoy it.

In time, you and your lover will become accustomed to such changes.

Saturn Square Uranus   

You hate to get into a rut in lovemaking, which makes you somewhat restive in a long- term relationship.

If you are content with being single, this is not really a problem, because your restlessness will just lead you into new and more interesting experiences with different partners. But if you are married or committed to one person, you need to work out this problem.

First, you must be honest and tell your lover immediately when you are bored; then you should work to make the situation more lively.

Although this lifestyle may be tumultuous at times, it will provide you with great sexual freedom and discovery within a single ongoing relationship so that you can have the best of both worlds.

Venus Trine Saturn

Your views about what you want from a relationship are quite clear. In general, you get the greatest enjoyment from tried and true methods.

This approach makes love a very easy and mellow experience. It's quite possible that your lover will want some variety now and then to liven things up. Although you may not be that interested in experimentation, you will certainly not find it harmful in moderation, and both your lover and your relationship will benefit.

It is a good idea to plan your experiments together ahead of time, rather than trying them out without warning.

Saturn Trine Neptune   

You definitely prefer a long-term love commitment that is more than just a physical outlet, uniting you and your partner in serving some higher goal, either social or spiritual.

Your sexual expression may be quite austere, or it may be a regular and special expression of friendly affection.

As a result, you will probably build a very stable, long-lasting marriage or love affair based on love and friendship rather than on momentary passion.

In any case, friendship will usually come before your desire or need for sexual expression.

Sun Square Neptune   

At times you may be uncertain and confused about how you should assert yourself in love.

In many cases it may be better to let your partner make the first move, enabling you to make a stronger and surer response.

Be meticulous and realistic about your expectations in a love affair, for you may often ask the impossible, either of your partner or of the situation itself, which is a sure road to disappointment. If you work to clarify what you can reasonably expect, you are more likely to attain your goals.

As time goes on, you will develop a special ability to outline the specifics of a relationship and define its reasonable limits.

posted March 23, 2004 11:25 AM         

No offense, I do it too, with my 6th house moon. I have learned to ignore my own pangs of regret because they are not real. They are memories that are all swirled up with emotions.

You said in your post and you need me to tell you this because it's hard for you to see your emotions clearly yourself correct?
That you got sick after Bill..and then you didn't like being sick because you Needed someone to care for you. You were saying in your post clearly that you did not like it. Either the end with Bill or the being sick part. So how are you passive? You were angry and when we are angry and there is no one we get sick. That's natural.

Nothing wrong with that so far correct? You are a healthy red blooded woman. Your post said he left you, but now he is back sending you emails . You know in your heart that he wants to come back, but on HIS OWN TERMS. That does not mean you want him back, it means he is judging you and grooming you to see if you are going to take him back on his own terms.

You sense this and you are curious and so you judge this to be a welcome mat. You are not welcoming him you are just normally curious about his motives and suspicious.

It came off very clearly you were suspicious of his motives. You are a spiritual person, a spiritual warrior according to vedic astrology, so you know what's up. There is no way in your heart that you still long for him, if you cannot trust him. Not as spiritual as you are.

There is a war inside of you because you are angry at Bill, allow yourself to feel angry at him, and wipe away any pain you still feel towards him. Visualize the past wiped away and see how you feel. Would you want that all over again? I think not. Visualize your perfect life-what would it look like? What would happen if Bill came back and he was perfect? How would he act?

What if your Aqua could be perfect, how would he act and look like? What does your perfect home and world look like and who's in it? Are you there first? Put yourself there first and then build a perfect home with a rainbow and add others slowly. Imagine what they would be like, underneath. Now check out the people in your life. Who is like that? If nobody then ask them why they are not living up to your expectations?

This visualization technique is very good.

Trust is important and you have to trust in relationships first. If you can't throw the ball then it won't come back to you. Build a life where you can finally trust everyone, no matter what you have to do. If your promotion is important to you, then pour your energy into that and see what happens. Don't be afraid to be happy.

Once you have conquered that, then help others. Your sixth house sun is the spiritual warrior, you love to help others, protect people from social injustice and pain. Maybe that pain in you is what you see in others and you are sick of it? There is nothing wrong with fighting that.

Take Care Warrior.

I will look at your Aqua's chart, but you need to communicate to him, that you are unhappy. He can help somewhat, that' s what he's there for.

posted March 23, 2004 11:49 AM         

Sun in the Fifth House

Sun in the fifth house of the composite chart is one of the best positions for a sexual relationship. It is also the house of creativity, children, self-expression, amusement, and good times in general. The Sun in the fifth house gives a strong emphasis to any of these elements.

In a personal relationship, a composite fifth-house Sun implies that your relationship will give you good opportunities for self-expression, for being yourself and enjoying it.

This is a good position for friendship because it indicates a light-hearted relationship in which you genuinely enjoy each other's company.

In a relationship with this placement, you must give each other room to be what you are.

Sun Opposition Moon

Sun opposition Moon is capable of bringing about much good or much difficulty, particularly in a love relationship. With this aspect, there may be tremendous polarity, which results in either-or situations that can cause great tension. On the other hand, this aspect can bring together two radically different elements of your lives and make a higher and more dynamic entity of the two of you.

In a love relationship, you can expect this aspect to generate a lot of energy. You will be tremendously attracted to each other, but you will not feel entirely at ease, because there is a tremendous energy imbalance between you.

Much the same interaction will be found in the chart of friends. In all situations this is a very energetic but unstable combination.

Moon in the Eleventh House

You have a strong feeling of shared goals and objectives in life, which will contribute to your ability to get along with each other. You will spontaneously think of yourselves as a unit rather than as two separate individuals.

You will be fond of company and enjoy sharing good times with others. Many factors in your lives together will support your relationship in a friendly way without any special effort on your part.

In general this is one of the better positions for a personal relationship and should enable you to share both love and friendship.

Venus in the Seventh House

Composite Venus in the seventh house is a good indication that this is a personal relationship based to a considerable extent on affection. There may be other reasons for this relationship, but love is certainly one of the most important.

You will have a strong sense of shared emotion and feeling and a great need to share your experiences.

The only danger that you should watch for with this position is that you may tend to be too accommodating; that is, you will try to agree with each other even when one of you has a legitimate grievance. If you do this too often, eventually the friendly atmosphere wears thin, and all kinds of resentments boil out. Do not let your desire for peace and harmony prevent you from confronting important issues.

Venus Opposition Pluto

With the opposition of Venus and Pluto in the composite chart you will have to be very careful. Somehow this relationship dredges up all kinds of deeply buried emotions that you may not really want to cope with. At its best, this power can cause you both to become new and more authentic people than you have been. But at its worst you will just play around with each other's feelings and what comes of playing around will make both of you feel quite bad about yourselves.

The feelings between you can be powerful forces for good or bad, so use each other wisely.

------------------------------------
Composite Horoscope midpoint method
PLANETARY POSITIONS
planet sign degree house
Sun Aquarius 29°15'29 05
Moon Leo 22°44'09 11
Mercury Aquarius 10°36'51 05
Venus Aries 13°04'27 07
Mars Aquarius 06°36'58 05
Jupiter Taurus 23°05'54 08
Saturn Leo 12°12'21 11
Uranus Scorpio 11°45'41 02
Neptune Sagittarius 15°54'35 03
Pluto Libra 13°52'40 01
True Node Libra 26°01'40 02

I think what's happening is both of you are becoming too accomodating, and don't want to "rock the boat". Now is the time to rock the boat a little so some rest and relaxation where you both get to know eachother again would be better.

His moon and sun are square, which doesn't make it easy for him to express himself. He may write you a letter but be afraid to say I love you. Get him to open up more, and get out more often. With is Scorpio moon and your Pisces Sun you would feel closer together doing the things you both enjoy.

What do you like to do that makes you happy with him? Are you still doing it, or have you stopped? What activities do you have in common? Do you still like these activities, and how does he feel? Maybe it's time for some new purpose together. What brought you together?

Natasha

posted March 23, 2004 08:39 PM         

Jezzebel - My Taurus's birthday (Bill) is May 6, 1977. He has a moon in Capricorn and Cancer rising.....

posted March 24, 2004 12:10 AM         

I think what Natasha means - and I'm sure she'll come along to define - was he's "grooming you" to not expect any more than what he is giving you.

Reading your last post made me think immediately that you have a way of idealizing someone, making them actually MORE and BIGGER than they actually are. I had a 15-year thing with one of those absolutely magical Aquarians - girl, you cannot even imagine - and I felt the same way about him, a great teacher replacing my family.

But he too will become part of a bigger picture. He's just a guy with mundane needs of his own, and they usually end up with very "strict mother" types. Who else is going to hold the fort while his head is concocting his famous philosophies?

But I say this too, so that it may be why you cannot know your true feelings for either guy. You only know your feelings of THE IDEA OF THEM. Not the guy himself. Keeping a sense of physical distance allows you to conveniently overlook their flaws, so you skip over the mundane, and are there to love them when they are only in full bloom, at full potential.

You love the IDEA of them. Think about why and what's holding you back from both accepting and revealing the flaws in yourself and others. Or maybe you can redefine what I've said...

.gloria

posted March 24, 2004 10:13 AM         

With your Sun square Neptune you get let down a lot and I see why you want a special man who is pure. Venus in Aries likes that a lot, and I was with a man for many years who I felt that way with. But eventually it wasn't enough for me. And I tend towards Aquas myself, they are so sweet.

It's just a phase if I can call it that, in your life. You are looking at yourself and judging yourself based on how you love-that's very Venus in Aries-when who we love is all about where we are in life. You will change but Bill won't. It's hard to change but that' s what you are going through-growing pains.

Your ideas are changing but let them change, it's okay and natural to want different things-women do change their minds, that doesn't make you less pure, that makes you an evolved human being.

Nobody is perfect, even God isn't perfect and doesn't want to be, since his world is a work in progress. If he was perfect why is there winter? Things die so others can live. You can never be perfect, I am never perfect, we all make mistakes and the greatest miracle is that we are all forgiven no matter what we do, by ourselves. You don't need to forgive Bill, and he doesn't need to change because that's Bill.

But in your visualization he does, and that's normal. What ever you want to think is normal and I suggest continuing with that and writing down what you find. You like the Aquarian as a friend and you know he wouldn't like Bill. That's your idea and if you believe that then it's true. Trust your own instincts about what you believe. Have faith in yourself.

Keep the Aqua as a friend, I think you would be sad without him, othewise, keep listening to your visualization, it's telling you something.

Boy do I know what you mean about the purity thing, we share that sixth house Sun and Venus in Aries and it's a killer with the control and the purity thing. I also have Neptune opposite the Sun, and we share that aspect with Johnny Cash-a true romantic.

Here are some more spiritual warriors-6th house suns to boost your confidence

Muhammed Ali
Mother Teresa
Bob Dylan

Notice how they are all fighters, for something better than themselves? It may be called purity, or self respect, but there are other words for it, finding yourself in the world, getting credit, public acclaim, being noticed, making sure you take care of your self worth and self esteem and the worth of others.

Sixth house suns are great fighters for self esteem, maybe that's the purity you enjoy in others, because you respect this quality.

Read this thread, regarding the Green Light game, maybe you could play this with the Aqua. http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/002376.html

posted March 26, 2004 08:43 PM         

Both of you have some really good suggestions. Natasha, I have a question for you--- You said that "Bill won't change and that's ok because that's Bill." What do you mean by that? And how do you know that I WILL change but BIll WON"T? I'm curious because you sound so very certain about that and it's something that's really impossible to predict. Ok, so he is a Taurus, but anyone can change, right? Even if they can't or won't, it seems questionable to say they won't. (Unless you read the Tarot or are psychic ) I happen to read Tarot, but it sometimes confuses the situation when I try to to do a reading based on my own situations. I seem to be a whiz at figuring out other people's scenarios. Anyway, moving along...regarding my attitude towards men's flaws (or indeed, ANYONE'S flaws), I guess it's due to my Virgo rising. I notice everyone's flaws, myself included and can be very critical. But in a very tolerant way, strangely. I observe but I don't necessarily CONDEMN, if you know what I mean. But when it comes to someone that I accept into my life that will be very close with me, then I expect a lot. I guess I do expect perfection or at least someone who is aiming for it. I myself am always striving for the next level in all aspects of my life and I guess I instinctively know that i need to be with someone who is also like this. Together, we can drive each other to become better people in all ways. I guess this is why I look for perfection. Of course I'm not there yet! But I'm always trying....

Also, Natasha, you said that "I don't need to forgive Bill". Why not? I thought that to err is human but to forgive is divine. I almost always forgive people. Even when I feel like I shouldn't or don't have to, I force myself to realize that people aren't perfect. See I guess that's what I mean about being critical in a tolerant way?

posted March 26, 2004 10:51 PM         

If you take away the word change and replace it with grow. Take another look and see what I mean.

You will grow, and change. It's a positive growth, you will mature and become whole. Bill will not do that alone. But to be mature is to accept change, to work with it. Your challenge is to be versatile and grow. Not easy for your sixth house sun.

Look at the Greek word for perfection-it means to become mature, whole. It doesn't have the same meaning in this culture. Now it means to better oneself, to correct oneself, isn't that negative?

I like the words mature, grow, accept, become whole, rather than change, perfect, correct...

It's wrong of me to use that word-change because it wasn't what I meant. I meant growth in a positive direction. Right now you can only work towards growing in a new direction yourself, you can't know what Bill will do. Sure he could mature on his own, maybe. But it's not as important, as believing in yourself, right?

Bill has to believe in Bill, to work on himself, no one can help him mature. But if he doesn't do that, then ten years later, when you see him, it will be as if time stood still, his methods will be the same. It can be a let down to see that. You could change his life it's true but do you want to help him work on something he needs to do himself?

This are just thoughts,
you are right I do not have a crystal ball. But I have been married for ten years to a man that never matured, who I thought would change and he never did.

I still love him very much but I do not see myself as his partner, because I am not mature enough to help him.

One thing I like about astrology is it's a good way to examine the psyche.

posted March 27, 2004 08:19 AM         

Natasha
Taurus
Cancer Moon/8th
Scorpio Ascendant conjunct Neptune
Mars/Sag/1st house

posted March 27, 2004 09:14 AM         

So last issue I wanted to address is this:

You said I don't need to forgive Bill and that's ok. Why do you think it's ok not to forgive him? (P.S. - I know that you will be tempted to respond that if "I" think it's ok then I should forgive him. But I already know what I think. I am curious to hear the REASON for what YOU think, specifically why it's ok not to forgive Bill.) Please indulge me on this one last item. What can I say, I am interested in people and have Mars and Mercury in Aquarius so I am driven to ask such seemingly nit-picking questions because I am ever trying to look more deeply into things to get to the source and constant questioning seems to be the only (well, at least best) way for me to do this...

posted March 27, 2004 09:58 AM         

Sometimes these things do not make sense right away, and a few months later, an event occurs that our emotions respond to. If we shut off that emotion, our emotions cannot respond, change or grow. It's scary, because it means growing again. I think society tells us to let go of our emotions quickly because it's not healthy, but it's different for everyone.

Emotional health is like a tune up for your car, it's important, but invisible. Doing this kind of work is really difficult for me, but I have learned that we all have to express=let go of our emotions in their own time. It's happens naturally.

I went to an Inner Child workshop once and they taught us to hold on to our feelings and write about them, when I thought "normal" was letting go, and doing whatever it took to let go of that emotion. Now I know I take a lot longer to let go of emotions and it's good, it makes me feel fresh and whole again, because it fuels my life.

I couldn't work as an artist-not the creating part but the work energy part, without some powerful emotion behind what I do. So I let those emotions work through me, without forgiving anyone, I enjoy anger, love, lust, and let those wash over me without criticizing myself, or feeling sorry.

So I am a big ball of emotion all the time, but I am happier and more productive than before. It sounds like a contradiction but for me it works. I was repressing too much emotion and letting go too much. The Inner Child workshop taught us to write down a face next to each emotion and accept it. It was a popular workshop so I imagine a lot of people have trouble with this.

That's where I am coming from on the not forgiving part-it's not necessary, is what I meant. Lots of times we do what's not necessary.

If you are drawing a portrait and a shadow is there, but not necessary, you can leave it out. In fact it must be left out because then it's distracting from the beauty of the piece. It takes a lot of time to figure that out that rigid control is not necessary. So I am still maturing.

I hope that analogy makes sense! Remember I have Virgo on the midheaven, and criticizing others is part of my job, I have to have an eagle eye for detail too. This can lead to self criticism.

Charles Shultz, was an excellent example of a Virgo Midheaven-Charlie Brown was always so down on himself, but he was loved so much. Look up Charlie Brown, as Lucy would say. That's what I say to myself all the time and it works. I also like to create things that make people happy and look up, just like Charles Shultz. I couldnt' live without that aspect to my work.

I hope your career becomes less stressful for you.
I am sure you are good at it, but I know it's tough when others boss you around. Sixth house suns are good at self employment, because they are self motivated and versatile. Keep looking up, and be open, that's my message all the time.