posted August 09, 2004 01:28 PM         

At a friend’s house, Jason dropped by one Monday evening with a couple of his friends. I was literally astounded when I first saw him; I tried not to stare at his eyes, and his voice and all of his appearance was very familiar to me. I felt his very strong presence in the room and I felt an overwhelming chemistry with him. It was love at first sight. We didn’t speak much but the room we were in was filled with sexual tension, or maybe our energy, and I thought of him constantly for four days.

The next Friday evening, my boyfriend of the time really upset me and I broke up with him, ran into Jason again, and we began dating immediately. From the beginning, there was an amazing amount of passion and intensity, and we always felt radiant, happy, and full of energy in each other’s company. Our personalities, tastes, and interests were almost identical. It appeared that our eyes would get “stuck” together often. Our mannerisms, vocabulary, and actions were the same; we seemed to be made for each other, but we do not have identical birth charts, or even share the same sun sign; Our sun signs and rising signs are flipped.

For a few weeks, everything was perfect, then I found out that he was married and separated from his wife a couple of days after he met me, two days before we started dating. He had a three-year-old son. I was shocked. The friends that we had in common said that they thought he had told me and he said he thought they had told me. As a Catholic, I hold marriage in high esteem although he told me that they married as teenagers just because they were having a child together, which makes me feel that they are not really married in the eyes of God because of lack of free will. He thought he was doing the right thing at the time. Jason is not Catholic, but his moral viewpoints are just like mine. He said that he did not want to go back to her, and if he did it would be for their child, not for her. He told me that he wished I was his wife and I felt guilty, wondering if he would have gone back to her if he hadn’t began seeing me. Jason explained to me that he and his wife could no longer get along, they no longer had sex, she was lazy, and she wouldn’t work or clean even though he paid for childcare for their son.

He knew I was upset after he told me he was married, and for two weeks we didn’t speak. When something was wrong, neither one of us wanted to be the first to call; we don’t like confrontation. I thought about him day and night and I was torn with the desire to run to him and wanting him to do the right thing and go home to his family (he had moved in with his mother). Finally, I broke down and called him. He asked me to go away with him for the weekend, and we left right away. Everything was still perfect between us; the ecstatic lovemaking unlike I have ever experienced with anyone else, the passion, and pure love. We never had an argument. He did, however, mirror what I did, and he did do the types of things that I do in relationships and I found a couple of things to be irritating.

A couple of months later, we were driving down the street when his wife called; he lied to her and said that he wasn’t with another girl and she said that their son was crying for his dad. I felt like a low-life when it came to his son; we had both grown up with separated parents that despised each other, making our childhood difficult. We are both naturally honest people and his lie really bothered me. We no longer dated after that; there was no break-up, we just stopped talking to or seeing each other. He felt how upset I was over it.

I moved within the next couple of weeks because of other circumstances, and I went back to my ex-boyfriend to keep myself away from Jason. I still had the conflicted desires and I still thought of him day and night. I ran into him at a concert while I was with my boyfriend and he desperately wanted to talk to me. I told him that he was married to someone else, so there was nothing to talk about. I was moved by the passion in his eyes, but there were other people around, and I walked away. Neither one of us will cause a public scene. A month later, still unable to stop thinking of him constantly, I called him and he told me that he couldn’t see me, that he was seeing someone else then. I was deeply hurt because I expected that he would have gone home to his wife. We both have the tendency to be with someone; we have a hard time being alone, even if we are not with the right person.

A year and a half later, I was still thinking of Jason as my spirituality began to grow; I grew increasingly unhappy in my relationship, I had been thinking of him constantly for a couple of weeks, and I had the feeling that I would see him one night. At another concert, we saw each other; Jason was with his wife, and I was with my boyfriend and some other friends, so we couldn’t talk long, but we were both excited to see each other. We still felt radiant and happy in each other’s presence. Another year and a half later, I was very unhappy with my relationship, and thought about Jason constantly for months. I began dreaming of him. I had a male friend of mine to call him and ask him to call me. He did! I wanted him to call me if he wanted, realizing that I wanted to talk to him without upsetting his wife. We talked for a long time; he was very upset at that time, having lost his business. He told me that six months after our relationship ended he did go back to his family and that he had been an alcoholic and no longer drank. We both felt better to talk to each other. He asked me to call him the next day; I did, and I wound up asking him to meet me, but he wouldn’t, so I didn’t call him again. I felt that he wanted to see me but he didn’t want to destroy his life.

He told a mutual friend of ours about the call and I told our friend that I would like to see him again. Our friend agreed with me to go see another mutual friend’s band the next weekend. He told Jason that I was going. I saw him that night, with his wife, and our friend didn’t show. It amazed me to see him again; I literally almost fainted, having to lean on the friend that was with me as darkness closed in around my eyes. I felt his strong presence, and I felt him staring at me without looking straight at me, always constantly aware of each other. When a fight broke out in the bar we were in, we both jerked our heads in the other’s direction with fright in our eyes. I knew then that he still had the same intensity of feelings for me over three years after our relationship ended. We never spoke to each other, and I ran into him at a restaurant two weeks later. He was upset that I didn’t speak to him, and of course he didn’t speak to me; we are so very alike and frankly, childlike. We talked for a few minutes and left happy. I finally broke up with my boyfriend.

Soon after that I met the man that I was to marry through the same mutual friend. He, too, was familiar to me although I didn’t feel the overwhelming chemistry and the same amount of intensity that I felt with Jason. We are exact opposites, and we both knew when we met that we would marry, but oddly I didn’t feel any joy when the thought entered my head. I saw Jason one more time a few months later as I was moving again; he was upset about his career. He had to take a job paying much less than he made when he worked for himself and he was very frustrated. I was upset because I had just lost my job. There was still the same excitement and magnetism present that we had always had, but I felt that he was afraid to be alone with me. We had run into each other at a gas station. Although I still thought about him, that was the first time I had no idea that I would run into him; I had always felt it beforehand. For a couple of months afterward I thought about him often, but I never saw him again. I went through another spiritual awakening shortly thereafter, where many things came to me in a span of several months. A little over a year later I thought about him constantly for two weeks and I was certain I would see him again, but I didn’t; my boyfriend broke up with me for twelve days and I was astounded at my sense of grief; I had no idea that I cared as much about him as I did. It seemed to me that every time I began thinking of Jason again, something bad would happen.

About a year later I got pregnant and married my boyfriend. I care deeply about my husband, but I am not in love with him as I am with Jason. I still think of Jason often, and I probably always will. We carry the same karma; I married someone that is lazy and doesn’t like to work. When he does work he isn’t very productive (he’s in sales, which is what he wants to do). We must have been leeches in our past lives! Within the last year I have become increasingly unhappy, and in the last three months I have been dreaming of him every night.

posted August 10, 2004 09:26 AM         

These people are not always lovers, they can be grandmas, neighbours, even pets.

posted August 10, 2004 04:58 PM         

I definitely feel that we are supposed to talk to each other. I don't know if you are like me, but my moon sign is the same as my south node and my Chiron is in Aries, so I am repaying some heavy karmic debt. Trust your intuition (Uriel is over that, you can ask him for help)and open your eyes to your messages. I have just recently began doing that and everything has come at a rapid pace for me. Much of this karma can be released by feeling compassion for others, praying for them, calling those that pop into your head, forgiving yourself and others, and being charitable and generous to others without thought of reciprocation. I am trying really hard. Also, in "reliving" the past to gain clarity of positive lessons to be learned, then putting them away.

If this man is your twin, you share the same soul, so if you focus, or meditate very hard and call out to him his higher self should hear yours. Maybe if you say a prayer for the two of you and light a pink candle that will help. The purple plate has really helped me; I don't have a picture of my twin, but I hav put one of myself on there for a few weeks.