posted May 24, 2005 02:56 PM         

As much as I don't like telling my personal life stories to anyone, including those on the WWW, but this later part of the month has been very depressing and distressful.
Therefore, it's like a huge black cloud has gone over my head. Again as the story goes I'm having problems regarding family and friends. One parent has been controlling and putting me down for ages. I try my best to do my best in life but it seems that it isn't enough for him to accept. He continues to find ways to put me down everytime I am happy with what I do and feel comfortable doing. I can't wait when the time comes when I tell him that I no longer want to be his daughter. Therefore,I wish I was living in my own apartment but where I live the rent is too expensive and that I have no place to live right now.
I hate him and I hope he rots in hell.

As for friendships, I always had trouble of keeping friends. It's like I deal with so much of their drama and that I can no longer put up with them. People like that, you just want to shoot them. With this one friend, I have recently put at end to the friendship last week just to save my sanity. Then she goes around slandering and contradicting herself about me on another site just because she couldn't handle the move(she also has alot of problems herself that is why I decided to split away from her.)Three years of friendship put to the end. Therefore, I feel that it isn't worth meeting new people now because who would put up with all the stresses and dramas that come with the friendship. Also there is no need to deal with anymore additional problems. I want to stick with my few close friends whom I went to school with. I wish I lived in some place where no one bothers me and that I can be able to clear my mind. I'm really feeling hurt, confused, and even distressed that I'm having problems getting out all this negativity. It's really intolerable and exhausting. Please help..I need alot of encouraging advice. I want to enjoy love, happiness, success and inner peace of all sorts.

Please check my birth data to see what it is why I am struggling in life.

for HER
born on 13 Jan 1975 local time 03:04 am
in New York, NY (US) U.T. 08:04
74w00, 40n43 sid. time 10:36:44
PLANETARY POSITIONS
planet sign degree house
Sun Capricorn 22°30'29 02
Moon Aquarius 02°30'51 03
Mercury Aquarius 07°10'05 03
Venus Aquarius 08°50'53 03
Mars Sagittarius 23°51'11 01/2
Jupiter Pisces 15°31'41 04
Saturn Cancer 14°51'29 08
Uranus Scorpio 02°12'49 11/12
Neptune Sagittarius 10°49'43 01
Pluto Libra 09°15'21 11
True Node Sagittarius 09°33'57 01

HOUSE POSITIONS (Placidus)
Ascendant Scorpio 24°25'58
2nd House Sagittarius 25°05'04
3rd House Aquarius 00°53'48
Imum Coeli Pisces 07°29'34
5th House Aries 08°53'44
6th House Taurus 03°54'05
Descendant Taurus 24°25'58
8th House Gemini 25°05'04
9th House Leo 00°53'48
Medium Coeli Virgo 07°29'34
11th House Libra 08°53'44
12th House Scorpio 03°54'05

posted May 25, 2005 04:01 PM         

Thanks for responding. I do feel like talking about getting all these hurt feelings which has been trapped inside me for ages. Just to let you know, it's hard to trust people nowadays. When you meet new people then they change on you months later. Then grief and drama come along the way and with all your power you end up putting an end to the friendship. But then these idiots don't understand why they get dumped and take **** on you. I'm not going to put up with anyones crap, you know what I mean.

posted May 25, 2005 04:15 PM         

I don't know if this is your experience, but my growing up years have had a tremendous impact on what I am today, in a very negative way. You still live with your father, is this right?

posted May 25, 2005 04:29 PM         

Thanks so much for your time and help. My growing up years also made an impact on me in a negative way as well, even though I try to make things better for myself. I'm sure you do the same. But it still hurts that I see things from my dad repeating unto me and it must stop now.

posted May 25, 2005 08:57 PM         

And for you, you're still living with it!

posted May 26, 2005 09:06 AM         

here are some of the positions of the planets/ houses that I have found. Maybe you can help me interpret their meanings.

Mars in 2nd house
Sun in 2nd house
Moon in 3rd house
Venus in 3rd house
Saturn in 8th house

posted May 26, 2005 04:53 PM         

born on 13 Jan 1975 local time 03:04 am
in New York, NY (US) U.T. 08:04
74w00, 40n43 sid. time 10:36:44

for now :::
these are the main outer planet transits
currently effecting you chart
and are in close orb ...
both Plut and Chiron are retrograde at moment

tPlut conj nMars .. ( i.e. transiting Pluto conjunct natal Mars)
tChiron conj nMoon / squr nUrns
tLillith opp nMoon

the transits above are far from easy .. but what u say makes sense
with regards to them ... i had a pretty bad 'controlling' type relationship
with my parents .... just be aware those transits can realy lead you into
some real intense feelings .. and said transits WILL pass ...
I had a major Chiron transit a whilst back .. but almost.. well did have to
travel back to childhood in my mind .. it felt a bit on the traumatic side
and cetainly made me angry at having to go thru it

maybe meanwhile research the above thru LL and the web ...
and i shall at least give you info on the time span involved with
those transits ... but again to to the recent movement of 2 ..
plus the Lillith transit .. makes sense ..
the short term Lillith transit is probably raising your emmotional
temp. a bit.. i.e the hate .. thats relatively short term ( weeks )
Lillith has a 9 yr cycle 'round the zodiac .. i guess her transits be
about 2 weeks in duration ..
will suss it out and let u know

will copy your heading post .. read it and try to get back to you later
.. i rarely drop into soul unions.. but normaly check in at the astro section ..
http://www.happydragon.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/A.F.L.G.html
http://www.astro.com/astrology/in_chiron_e.htm
http://www.astro.com/astrology/in_wounding_e.htm
http://www.astro.com/astrology/in_transits_e.htm
http://martinlass.com/healhand.htm
http://www.martinlass.com/chiron.htm