posted July 21, 2006 12:00 PM         

If you're not married, yet, share this with a friend. If you are married share it with your spouse or other married couples, and reflect upon it.
 
An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep eyes open. After you marry, close one eye."
 
Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults isn't really important.
 
Once you decide to commit to someone, over time their flaws, vulnerabiliti­es, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you have got to learn to close one eye, and not let every little thing bother you.
 
You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs,values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two unique individual children of God who have decided to
share a life together. Neither of you is perfect, but are you perfect for each other?
 
Do you bring out the best of each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other? Or do you compete,compare, and control?
 
What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?
 
You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life," you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain.
 
Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship.­Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.
 
What keeps a relationship strong? Communicatio­n, intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, some shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note).
 
Leave a nice message on his or her voicemail. Or send a nice E-mail and share common goals and interests.
 
Growth is important. So grow together, not away from each other. Give each other space to grow without feeling insecure.
 
Allow your mate to have outside interests.You can't always be together. So give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment.
 
Don'­t try to control one another. Learn each other's family situation.Respect his or her parents, regardless. Don't put pressure on each other for material goods.
 
Remember for richer or for poorer.If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace the passion.
 
"Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think."
 
The grass withers, flowers fade, but the word of God stands forever. Isaiah 40:8 Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight?
 
 Always try to be a little kinder than is necessary. The only difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put the I.
 
"A word of encouragement can make the difference between giving up or going on."
 
 NO CHARGE.
 

posted October 18, 2006 09:37 AM         

And a relationship is a two-way. You might be happy with your partner and you might think that the way you give your affection is just right. But be always attentive if your partner is also happy (if he/she feels satisfied with what u give, and if he/she feels confident about what he/she gives). Being truly able to concern about the other person's feelings and thoughts (under the other person's shoes) is what is truly selfless. ^_^

And remember, never to ignore anything that you feel that is not right. Be sure to share everything. Small problems that are occulted are like seeds: they grow into big plants.

posted October 18, 2006 06:18 PM         

"What keeps a relationship strong? Communicatio­n, intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, some shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note)."

This is exactly what my marriage is like. Even though I am Germany, a 9 hour difference. Our communication (Text, IM, and on the phone) is awesome, we completely trust each other, and we make each other laugh.
When I am at home I like to help around the house. We eat dinner at the dinner table together. We have our time with our friends and together. It is fun no matter what we do, be it staying in or going out to be social.

I do believe my marraige is a soulful relationship. It is awesome being with a wonderful wife who will compromise and understands and also communicates her fears, concerns, and appraisals for things we do or plan. We talk about everything.

posted October 18, 2006 06:44 PM         

I couldn't have said it better myself Bear, concerning how we are and what we do. COMMUNICATION is so very important even when people are living in the same house (let alone country). I am lucky to have a Husband that enjoys talking, texting and IM'ing. He is open, honest and loyal.

Bear and I always stress that we are a team - it is BOTH of us together than makes us strong- therefore our individual egos don't get in the way and make us feel that we need to challenge each other or that one person's needs are more important.