posted November 18, 2008 08:14 PM         

Life is so tough right now, and the pain feels like torture at times. I just wanted someone to love me, to be there for me, understand me and help me get through it. I thought things were going to be ok. But I just get more and more confused.

posted November 18, 2008 08:24 PM         

All I wanted was a bit of love in life....to ease the journey a bit.

Without someone to share life with, it's not the same. Empty.

posted November 20, 2008 12:48 PM         

i felt exactly like that a few years ago....actually i felt like i was enclosed in 2 feeet*2 feet concrete box and i cud not budge!! the feeling was horrible...but i'm over it now...

i dont know how to console you but i really do understand...i think everything has its own timimg...when somethings meant to be, it will...
when its not meant to be, it wont....

what i'm trying to say is that maybe u need to focus on something else at this point in time, besides your love life..maybe something else needs your attention...or maybe you need this time for yourself and get in touch your own feelings, likes, dislikes etc.

after i broke up a long term relationship a couple of years back, i felt depressed at first. then i decided i've had enough. i need some change. i need more friends. i need to learn new things. meet new ppl. live life the way i like it....not the way someone else wants me to...

right now my finances really need my attn. i dont thionk i wud be able to give it my 100% if i were in a relationship...but i'm really happy that i have this time to myself...the financial problems i've faced have made me get in touch with a side i thought i did not have...i feel there's so much to me that i myself did not know!! dont know if that makes sense....but i think i've managed to surprise myself on more than one occassions in the past coupla years....so i'm glad i had this time to myself.

i yearn to be with that someone special tooo. just the way you do...i want that understanding, love and companionship as well but i think expectations lead to dissappointment(let me add that i expect anyways!) but i think you shud try and do things u like... find time for yourself...eat right...exercise...hopefully that shud help .....and pray _

posted November 20, 2008 01:30 PM         

I'm feeling better now.

posted November 21, 2008 06:05 PM         

It hurts us because we are not ready for true love so we learn our lessons through imperfect love.

Have faith. I was knocked down twice this year and just this week l have met someone who can offer me a true love and me with him

posted November 22, 2008 07:51 AM         

I want to try to say something to help you dress and heal these fresh wounds.

I think you mustn't be hard on yourself:

"Your dagger will never tell you true from false;
it will never serve you as a mirror...
And creatures comelier than angels even
seem in a dagger to have devils' faces."
(~ Sanai, "The Walled Garden of Truth")

We all want so desperately to believe the fairy tales we've been weened on.

You loved deeply, and you were hurt deeply. It is nothing to be ashamed of.

I have no doubt that, in the future, you will know to heed that quiet voice of warning.

You sound like a lovely person, and all I wish for you is comfort, peace and love.

Please, be kind to yourself, and patient. You are healing even now.

And you will be healed, and, like a green shoot, grow stronger in the broken places.

All of my prayers.

posted November 22, 2008 11:27 AM         

I like that!

Listenstotrees and Dream-
You know I have to agree with HSC, we all want the traditional relationship with the love and the security. And I think that is just not what the Universe needs from all of us right now. We are at the threshold of the dawning of a new Era.
I feel like now is the time for us to be really focused on our on personal life paths!
Relationships will come and go and with it the romantic love experiences will wax and wane like the Moon. Cruel? Not really.
Because in relationships that love that we are seeking is a connection to the Divine, which exist in us already. We just have to find it, dig for it so to speak like a hidden treasure. But when you have that connection ListentoTrees, nothing matters on a physical plane, because whatever you are lacking there you can rest assure the Divine will make up for on a spiritual level.

Remember..... YOU choose this life......and you ARE strong enough to live it!
But you have accelerated karma to go through which involves lots of choices. And the Universe has a way of letting you know when you make the wrong ones. Its almost like we are being taught what is right from wrong the hard way so to speak.

Sometimes I find in moments when I have been cut the deepest and I want to give up, that I then have an avenue to go deeper into myself and fix those things that were broken in past lives and reinforcibly broken again during my childhood and dig out those deeply embedded wounds that are causing squares and oppositions in my chart that normally you ignore when you are "in a loving relationship", but when you are bleeding love all alone YOU have to a fix the "damage" to your own soul the source of that bleeding and you cannot rely on anyone else. And honestly who can do it better than you. Who knows you better than you do? No one but the Divine.
The Universe is forcing you to do that right now. But think of the life tools you will gain from this experience.
Number one being that it is not your lovers responsibility to provide your happiness it is your own. And I think that lesson is part of a bigger one that we are all learning right now, collectively for the most part, even those in stable romantic relationships they are learning through other avenue, but I think romantic relationships most of the times are the most intense and fastest way that we learn. And with us being in such an unconscious period in time the "intense" romantic relationships are neccesary. Its the Universes way of waking us up with a Uranian bolt of lightening!
The 2 biggest motivating forces of our emotions are fear and love. In love we have the experience of life and with fear we have the limitations. They both drive us forward emotionally sometimes in reckless abandon, lol.
But anyway when we live in the pattern of fear we are limited to the way we can connect. But when we live in a pattern of love then we move more freely through our emotions. And how we respond emotionally affects how we respond physically. We are born I think with predetermined patterns of fear. And they are reinforced in our childhoods, and what we are being ask to do at this time is redefine them and break there limitations so that we can evolve to full consciousness.
Its almost like we are redefining fears, in a way that involves there destruction with the resurrection of something even more powerful, transformation, interesting how Plutonian the process is. But in order to redefine them, we must first face them.
Think about the fear that goes along with a romantic relationships, the way we are so scared to let go of them.
How unhappy we are we aren't with them.
And all the deep insecurities they usually bring out of us.
What are we scared of? Why don't we won't be alone if they leave us? What are we afraid might happen?
Think about what happens logically.
What happens to your life force when that man or woman is no longer there? Lets say our soulmate decides to be a "runner" and he or she leaves us..what happens....do we stop breathing...does the world blow up? Let say our husband or wife wants a seperation. Will you die without them in your life anymore? No. Nothing like that happens no matter what our ego wants us to believe. I mean our energy may wane a little bit but its still there. And we usually learn something about ourselves and we gain another tool to help make our load a little lighter and break our previous patterns of fear.
Think about how good we will feel when we successfully free ourselves from a Karmic relationship. The feeling of freeness is amazing and think of how much wiser we feel.
And the tools we take away for dealing with that situation again.

So I say humbly accept your stake and bear it. And learn... and grow.... And be honored that you were deemed worthy enough for the task.

It doesnt mean you will live a lonely life. It just means that
you have more to learn about yourself and your destiny before you resonate at the frequency that attracts that person. All of us are different, maybe your stakes are higher ListentoTrees and Dream, maybe you have something to give to this world that is very important.
Over and over again we all are being provide the same opportunities, situations and circumstances with different outcomes. So you are not alone. But when we consciously recognize these situations or patterns we are able to percieve what is happening and make wiser decisions and develop better judgement.

Its like when we are experiencing our worst fear or worst time in our life, whatever it is that is happening , when we reach that critical level of crisis, the greatest challenge that we can fathom walking through and survivng,.... it is actually a honor. Why? Because it is impossible for you to draw those situations until you have amassed all the tools to carry you through them. Because it is in the amassing of the tools, through each relationship that we trigger the creative ability to bring them into reality on this plane in this magical moment, I say magical because I seriously feel that when I am in the middle of one I feel like when I detach from the moment and look down on it. Its like, holy crap! This cannot be my life right now. It just can't. I mean sometimes the events in my life are things that movies are made of, but again there is a reason why we are in that "moment " and it is so that we have the ability to demonstrate mastery over our biggest fears. Often when I look back, I see that, in one of my past relationships, I had to walk away before it became physically abusive, and I had to walk away with nothing, and start all over again. But I did, and in the process I learned something about myself, that I have to be a success in my own right and not through someone else, and deep down for some reason I am afraid of being more successful, I feel ashamed I think to imagine myself any more special than anyone else. But then I learned hey, being successful is different things for different people, so do yo thang! lol
But whoa is that ever a tumultuous period. The very ground soemtimes feels like it is shifting beneath our feet and we just want it to open up and swallow us.
End it all!
Guess who that it is talking?
Mr Ego.
Just tell em to shut up.
You will find that he listens much more easily these days.
lol

You know what helps me when I am at my lowest though.... when I feel like I am being tested the most?
I take out a peice of paper and I write down all the things that I am grateful for. And the things that I consider blessings in my life, and my heart starts to swell up and it helps me remember that there is a method to this madness and that the part I play on this stage this time around is part of a grand scene with other people who possess amazing talents, and beautiful visions, compassionate hearts, and other precious spiritual gifts. People full of love and light, who are walking different but equally demanding life paths. Remember that this beautiful Universe is based on Yin and Yang, the balance of things that Librans are getting to know well this lifetime. So imagine the rewards for such immense tests of the soul. ..I don't think we can even begin to fathom them... XOXO

posted November 22, 2008 06:24 PM         

Yes love hurts.. When I married my ex I knew going into it that I wasn't truely in love. I did so because I didn't want to risk being hurt. (which wasn't fair to him) After my divorce I decided that the next time I loved it would be with my whole heart. So... I met someone and let myself fall head over heels with him. I was getting mixed signals from him and so thought he cared about me too. When he finally broke "it" off (whatever it was), I was crushed. I remember months later having sex with another man and sobbing the whole time. It's taken me about a year now to say that I'm over him..never completely, but enough to move on.
So all I can say about that is it takes time to heal all wounds. I feel for you and have been there before, so this I know.
Just don't rush into anything for now. Take your time to heal your heart.

Oh... and let NO man hold you under lol!

posted November 22, 2008 10:32 PM         

Bunnies-
"Make a list of all the things I am grateful for?
There isn't enough paper in the world "

I guess we are both making each other tear up because those words made me tear up.
Your right, there is not enough paper in the world.

posted November 23, 2008 06:55 PM         

I am in love with you.

If you ever change your mind, I'll be waiting.

posted November 24, 2008 11:04 AM         

We need to make sure we sign up for each other next time around.............. if there is a next time around here........... ...........hell whatever is next I am sure we can work something out , lol! ....hmmmmm

posted November 24, 2008 06:57 PM         

lol @ your intense Scorpio stare

intelligent AND charming... *sigh*

I'm just glad we signed up to meet in this one... but you're on for the next one *wink wink*