posted July 12, 2009 11:33 AM         

My new friend (who falls under one of these categories) explained to me that it's because my perspective on things is "refreshing" and that it's most likely because I have no problems that people like him feel they can unload their problems on me. He and others have remarked about my being "pure" and "innocent" and they like it. Bad things have happened to me though not on their scale of badness, but for some reason I don't let it make me jaded. Like I'm not more guarded, I'm not more cautious, I'm still me. I still feel about things today as an adult as I did as a little kid.

My newer friends generally say despite my not experiencing much badness in life, I'm for some reason still able to understand them and empathsize with them which they find remarkable. My take is, feelings are feelings and I understand feelings.

My new friend said it best when he was like, You're like teflon. Whatever happens to you or what is told to you, you let it slide off of you the next day. It's true. In the aftermath of anything, I still maintain my ideals, my dreams, my visions of greatness of how my life is supposed to turn out like. But I attribute that to my strong foundation from home.

However, this trend in my life is beginning to wear me down. I just want to hang with one person in this city I moved to several years ago that's just chill and doesn't have dark secrets or drama. It's as if the scales are extremely lop sided and I'm beginning to feel resentful.

In addition to attracting society's unpopular kids, I also have people who seem to naturally want to protect me/take care of me/tell me what and how to do things. It's weird how people seem to think I'm so mature in being able to listen to and give advice about their devastating stories, yet they don't think I'm mature enough to take care of myself. I was walking with a friend and didn't notice a man was walking a little too close to me and was about to collide into me, so my friend stuck out his arm to "protect" me. Okay even if that guy bumped into me, it's not like I would've fallen down and died. The most that would've happened was yeah, he would've just bumped into me. Not like I haven't been bumped into before. Maybe because my friend was a guy and he was being a protective guy but I felt stupid when he did that.

posted July 13, 2009 06:15 PM         

i guess i've embraced this all my life and now i'm just a little tired of it...it's like come on man! can i please not be the shining light for some dark horse? i wasn't put on this earth to fix broken people as i have no right to do so. i know this, and they all know this yet it doesn't stop them from befriending me or telling me their dark stuff.

i've had people talk to me about their divorces and abortions and honestly....i've never been in a relationship nor experienced divorce even in my friends of friends...and i live my life like a mormon or nun though i'm NOT religious. i live like in the 1950s though this is 2009.

i just find it tires me out and wears me down.

posted July 13, 2009 06:34 PM         

you can just maintain your boundaries like cut contact with them or tell them straight that you don't want to hear it.

Raymond

------------------
“It is absolutely the perfect name,” Dr. Brown said, given the continuing discord among astronomers and the public over whether Pluto should have retained its planetary status.

In mythology, Eris ignited discord that led to the Trojan War.

“She causes strife by causing arguments among men, by making them think their opinions are right and everyone else’s is wrong,” Dr. Brown said. “It really is just perfect.”

posted July 13, 2009 06:54 PM         

ouch that's kind of harsh! i think the thing is when you're already friends....sometimes it takes a toll. it's not like i would cut them out AFTER i accepted them as a friend. i accept people for who they are but sometimes it's too much.

it's not like people tell you all who they are the first day you meet them, right? you gradually get to know each other and then later on, way later on, the dark sides all come out. they're still good people but just have a lot of baggage.

posted July 14, 2009 11:30 PM         

Seriously though, the older I get the more comfortable I get with it. I figure there is something about me that inspires trust. Although sometimes I literally have to sleep and hide away for a day to recharge. But you know, I have homeless friends and disabled friends, and seriously disturbed friends, and they need me.
This is not an ego thing, I mean, I know other people that are 'normal' whatever that is, it is just that usually people with some kind of problem are drawn to me.

posted July 14, 2009 11:55 PM         

I think "the sick and demented" are attracted to me because I'm also a little demented. Like GypseeWind said, it's probably just my lot in life.

posted July 16, 2009 07:40 PM         

my trend is i get those who have a bit of a dark or secretive side. they're good people but just have some issues that may be more serious than most. mine also tend to be loners or are lonerish. i also draw a lot of men like that too and that kind of scares me or intimidates me. i feel very shallow and sheltered compared to all these people in my life.

aerialcircus: whoa...i don't know what to say to your story. that's really heavy stuff. did the astrologer say what exactly it was that made the sick and demented be drawn to you?

acousticgod: not sure what it is in my chart, but i read somewhere once that my combination of...and i can't for the life of me remember, perhaps sun and moon...can't remember...causes me to attract the weird people in society. it actually said that. and i was like it's true!

but here's my chart. anything weird going on in there?

posted July 16, 2009 09:06 PM         

Whether or not you are asking for advice, you're getting it, lol. And, yes, I have had this experience. Although I've got my own demons, I tend to play therapist to my friends, and I've had to learn how to develop my boundaries; Sun/Venus in Scorpio, with Moon conjunct the Ascendant (ruling the 7th) and semi-square Neptune.

posted July 17, 2009 12:49 PM         

It would seem that you're an excellent friend.

The only thing our charts have in common is Saturn in the 1st.

posted July 20, 2009 07:45 PM         

it's just most are average folks until it's like slowly but surely there's some big dark secret. there's some issue. there's some major baggage. and due to that, i've gotta like accomodate them in some way. it's like 90% of the time i can be cool with these friends like i do my childhood friends (my set of friends i consider to be my actual clique, the one i keep separate and apart from this miscellaneous weird crew).

but then there's that small percent that sometimes...ahhhhh!!!!...i guess i feel frustrated because ever since i left home, all i ever do is befriend people who seem chill like me or my friends from home but then it's like there's a dark cloud in the sky.

i don't feel to be a saint or a "sweet person" but thank you for saying that i can be moody and snobby and angry like anybody else. but compare me against most people in this big city that one would come across, yes i do seem like some saint.

i'm not jaded. i'm shy and usually scared around people i don't know, but i'm not emotionally guarded if you want to put it that way. like recently one of my "weird" friends totally reamed me out for inviting another friend to dinner with us because he wasn't warned ahead of time. why? for his "weird" people reasons. it's not like i invited a total stranger. he is friends with the guy too. i know all about courtesy and stuff like that. i wouldn't invite someone along without considering the other person first...

and earlier in the week he chided me for inviting a mutual friend of ours out for drinks...again...for the second week in a row. it's apparently wrong to have get togethers so close together in succession. like that's not how you make friends. he basically said that i was being clingy or needy or giving that impression. i was just like what the?...omg...help me...

i guess like...it's these sorts of road bumps that i encounter with these types of people that make me wanna be like yeah see you later. for me, i have best friends already, i have a clique of genuine friends i grew up with and have history with. i have family. with these weird people...i technically don't need them at all which sounds harsh but if i want to drop them i can and i wouldn't cry about it.

posted July 20, 2009 07:57 PM         

i would hope that i am a great friend to people. if anything, i'm always the one who tries to set up get togethers and send christmas greetings and birthday greetings even if i never get one in return. i try my best to make people feel as if they exist.

it's perhaps not fascinating but like wandering through the red light district in amsterdam. it's like i'm there and i'm in the midst of it but i'm trying hard to just look up at the sky and avoid the grossness of it all.

posted July 20, 2009 09:37 PM         

quote:

---

can i please not be the shining light for some dark horse? i wasn't put on this earth to fix broken people as i have no right to do so. i know this, and they all know this yet it doesn't stop them from befriending me or telling me their dark stuff.

---

gypsee ~

posted July 21, 2009 06:38 PM         

quote:

---

thank you for replying and for looking at my chart. would you be able to expand on the meaning of having uranus on the ic?

---

IC is the angle on the 4th house cusp. The 4th house symbolizes the home. Opposite of the IC is the MC, which signifies your career or your public expression, so the IC by contrast is less public, private expression. Uranus is usually thought to be an unstable element in a chart. On the IC, it would be theorized that your home (4th house) is unstable in some way. If it's not, then Uranus is manifesting in an alternate way, and I would look to things associated with Aquarius to find out what that is. Is humanitarianism part of your home life? Is your private life inundated with strange acquaintances? Things like that.

Uranus is also the ruler of your 7th house, which rules partnerships and open enemies, which is also interesting.

Ruler of the 7th House in the 4th House

You seek a partner who is nurturing, caring, and domestic. A feeling of security in your close personal relationships is extremely important to you. Fitting in to your sense of home and family, and your set of traditions, is important to you in a companion. You seek someone familiar and comfortable. Your life partner may be the one who provides a home base for you--a sense of comfort and security. This sometimes indicates a person who is slow to marry, if at all. This position can suggest that your relationships tend to mirror your own parents' relationship, either in an unconscious attempt to fill emotional needs that went unfulfilled in childhood, or to cling to your roots. You tend to feel threatened when others don't support your most basic of values. http://www.cafeastrology.com/natal/rulersofhousesinhouses.html

posted July 22, 2009 01:05 AM         

valus: yes these people do have skeletons in their closet or, they're different from society in such a way that they just don't trust people all that easily. i don't feel i trust people all that easily either...but then i'm not a jerk about it or that i take myself so damn seriously.

i'm more shy and less emotionally guarded if you get what i mean. i feel i have secrets like everyone else...maybe not so serious like most people...but i've actually told people and come clean about my embarrassing stuff. not everything of course but...i don't let them get in the way of trying to form genuine friendships with people. i try not to take myself so seriously. thank you good luck to you too

acousticgod: thank you for the explanation. i read tons and tons of articles about what signs mean and their positions in the house but everything else is still very slow to sink in. my family like most have skeletons or secrets. though nothing beyond earth shattering. i've already dealt with it and it's not like some tragedy or anything like that.

i definitely cling to my roots that is for sure true. but yeah i definitely read the part where it says you seek someone familiar and comfortable. i do see a theme here in that i'm "weird" in a certain way in that i grew up looking not like most people. being mixed race kind of subconsciously and sometimes consciously weirds you out and makes you feel left out. it definitely imposed upon me a feeling of alienation even though no one's saying anything.

i guess like my feeling of weirdness or being an outcast is that i never fit under a label. like i've said in another post...i used to be invisible to society until i left home. i used to be overweight and dressed like a boy yet i was very well liked and super smart. but then i lost the weight and i don't know...nothing about me changed save i grew older and now it's like people who don't know me from when i was a kid, may think i'm somehow perfect and i get a lot of male attention and all of that just weirds me out.

i constantly cling to my old persona of i'm just an average person. i'm invisible. yet i've done a lot with my life and i do polish up nicely now...but i still make the same jokes and act the same as i did when i was invisible. it's odd...it's like i'm a "butterfly" now but i still think i'm some gross worm, and nobody knows it but me. so yeah...i feel i've been on both sides of the fence in that i've been an outcast myself but now i can jump over to the other side, yet i still wanna stay on the outcast side of the fence....if that makes any sense.

it's funny but there's this one person that came into my life who was just like me...it was really frightening how similar we were. it made me understand why we were so inexplicably drawn towards each other. we were like magnets that found each other. though the best way i could put it is that i'm the positive version and he's the negative version. i'm not perfect and i can be weird too but i think i cope with it better. a sense of humor helps me.

sorry for overtaking this post. i hope more people will share stories of their own or perhaps add more of what aspects may create this weird people magnet.

posted July 23, 2009 09:20 PM         

gypseewind: thanks i try to be as honest as i can without being offensive. i just find people are way too guarded with their thoughts and feelings, so i try not to be. keyword is "try."

but i guess that's the funny part, how do these used to be complete strangers know i would be able to understand them? i think that's the confusing part. it's like how did they KNOW? and i don't find myself to be a visibly open/affable kind of person. but yeah you are right, i do suspect it's because i know what it's like to be on both sides of the fence. and it's true.

it's kind of funny for me to be like i once was fat, and now i'm skinny. i once was ugly but now i'm so-called pretty. i once was afraid to leave the house and now i jet set everywhere. god's hilarious.

acousticgod: please remember to come back to this. i am interested in reading what more you have to say. would you please be able to share a little bit about your experiences with this sort of thing?

posted July 24, 2009 01:26 AM         

One of my first friends in the Navy was an odd guy. (The strangeness I attract isn't necessarily skeletons in the closet, but genuinely odd people.) He was a naturally hulking guy from Minnesota. He was 6'2", blond, solidly built, not lanky at all. He had some condition that made his hands shake. Not wildly, but he could show you that he was standing still with his hands out, and they would be moving. He swore that ephedrin helped him sleep. I tried it once, and probably didn't sleep at all that night. Anyway, he was a fairly smart guy, inquisitive. He had unusual ideas, and tried unusual experiments. He didn't interact with people in a normal fashion. When he was depressed, he was strangely pleased with the emotion. It was almost like he was completely detached from emotion, so maybe that's why he enjoyed it so much. The thing was, he was so far out of the mainstream in the way he acted. Eventually, I worked out that he was too weird for even me. I didn't stop being friends with him altogether. I just stopped hanging out with him, and started hanging out with some other genuinely intelligent people who were still unusual in their ways, but far more socially normal.

I was looking at your chart this morning, and Saturn stood out for me. You've just been through your Saturn return. I don't know how much reorienting that did in your life. Right now, if I'm not mistaken (I haven't checked to see where Saturn is in the sky), Saturn is squaring your Neptune. Saturn, the planet of discipline, is confronting Neptune, the planet of dreamy deception and idealism (amongst other things).

It's possible that the lesson is for you to realize that these aren't your people after all. They might have seemed like it for a time, but what is being revealed is that these people seem to annoy you. Strange, oddball outcasts are always easy to fit in with. They're very accepting, and not likely to judge you. Plus, you may also enjoy their eccentricity. They may be brilliant in some way. I'm thinking that maybe because you're used to thinking about yourself as a bit unusual you may have been drawn to these people. You are, or at least you seem to be, a better functioning outcast. You are more normal than your friends. This experience may be showing you that you need to be more selective in your friend choice, or that you need to expand your group of friends until you find some you really click with.

I can tell you that amongst the seemingly normal there's a whole lot of unusual people. You can find the eccentric in all manner of functioning life.

posted July 24, 2009 02:16 AM         

people are people and they have feelings and all that...but i do see that we are very different people and maybe way too different that i may have trouble keeping up and accomodating his ways to be the type of friend i'm used to being with my usual friends. he is many years older than i am and grew up very differently than me.

it's very important for me (as it was mentioned in the description you offered in an earlier post) that my close, true friends come from good, strong families or a good moral place. he kind of doesn't come from where i come from...so he's more liberal and out there than what i'm comfortable with.

i admit i do feel out of place amongst people who come from broken homes and/or don't believe in marriage or don't want children because i grew up the complete opposite of that. i'm one of the very few, perhaps the only one i know of here who actually wants to get married and have like five kids and all that and i feel strange that i'm in the minority.

when i speak about attracting crazies and outcasts, i'm most concerned about the ones i'm picking up now that i'm an adult and out there in the world and far away from my home. it's not just friends but guys who want to be more than friends. they're not mean people or bad people...just not in the mainstream.

and yeah i am more "normal" or well adjusted than most of these special folks :P my oddball ways are more of feeling weird as opposed to being it. i don't necessarily act weirdly, i just feel alienated a lot of the times, so i identify with feeling like an outcast as opposed to acting like or looking like one.

would you please be able to describe what is in your chart that would also explain your attracting strange people? i'm curious to know...