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Topic: What have you learned from your Soul Unions?
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seeker3030 Knowflake Posts: 227 From: UK Registered: Dec 2009
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posted October 11, 2010 04:42 PM
Having been through quite a few relationships in my time and having just experienced yet another painful ending, I thought it might be a good idea to take stock. It also might be slightly more positive and productive than listening to "How do I Live Without You" on repeat, eating my body weight in chocolate and stalking him on FB haha! So I started to make a list and wondered if anyone would like to join in, in a kind of theraputic 'relationship stock take/detox' effort??? I thought about what each one has shown me over the years and tried to see the 'lesson' in each situation. It doesn't mean I've got these lessons under my belt by any means!! I'm still making mistakes I made when I was 20 but I'm starting to recognise what each person showed me, and be grateful for the time I had with them instead of looking back wincing! ;D I've written it as a 'note to self' so please don't think I'm trying to say these are lessons for other people... these are purely things that I know I need to apply to me, so when I write 'you/yourself' etc I mean me. If it helps anyone else then that's all to the good So here goes...
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seeker3030 Knowflake Posts: 227 From: UK Registered: Dec 2009
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posted October 11, 2010 04:43 PM
To not be so desperate/impatient - love finds you when it judges you to be ready for its next experience, not vice versa.Not to make other people responsible for your happiness and emotional security. That needs to come from within and radiate out. Don't force things - it means more if you didn't have to 'lead the horse to water...' Give people space. Space gives each person the opportunity to miss and therefore appreciate the other a little more. Be yourself. Why would you want them to be in love with an illusion that's not you? Enjoy the ride - don't rush and skip stages. Let things develop naturally. Don't hold onto something or someone out of habit - releasing is magic; it causes magnetism to fill the void, and even if it's not the same person who gets magnetised back to you, it will be someone with whom you needed to connect in order for the next experience to occur, and the next lesson to be learned. Be 'light hearted' - change the energy around you from dark to light and like will attract like. Another piece of magic Be as honest as you can about everything. Honesty doesn't = blunt cruelty necessarily. There are ways and ways of saying things however it's so important to say what you mean and mean what you say. Be true to yourself and go for what you truly want. Don't settle for less out of habit, duty or low self-esteem. You're not doing you or the other person any favours. LAUGH!!!!!! Look for the laugh and the fun in everything. It has that 'heart lightening' quality to change the energy. Love with every last molecule of you - don't hold anything back! Feel everything to the inth degree and let it fill you up. You don't want to be on your death bed spending your last few moments of this incarnation worrying that so and so didn't know how much you loved them. That's what remains of us in this realm when we've taken off our 'costumes' and moved on to the next place probably... people remember how much love we shared with them. Learn not to be stingy with it Regret nothing. It happened. Ok so it perhaps went a bit pear-shaped but no one ever made a fool of themselves by loving someone. To love is brave and selfless. It's those who didn't step up to the mark and find the courage to love that should be regretting it. Feel the feelings. It's no good trying to protect yourself from a broken heart. If you live in an ivory tower your heart will eventually shrivel up and break from the loneliness anyway so it may as well break through exercise! Give it an airing and if it all goes horribly wrong, cuddle it, nurture it and nurse it back to full health before try, try, trying again. That's as much as I can think of at the moment, but I'm sure there's more. Ah well... hopefully onto the next lesson!
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bunnies Knowflake Posts: 263 From: u.k Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 11, 2010 05:20 PM
Don't try and make a silk purse out of a sows ear IP: Logged |
seeker3030 Knowflake Posts: 227 From: UK Registered: Dec 2009
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posted October 11, 2010 05:45 PM
Haha Bunnies that should go to the top of the list!! IP: Logged |
BlueTopaz124 Knowflake Posts: 196 From: Portland, OR, USA Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 12, 2010 11:34 PM
These are so good... Great thread!Here piggie piggie...lol Bunnies, that's so hilarious and true! This is probably the same as holding onto something out of habit, but know when you need to walk away for your own well-being.
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MysticMelody Moderator Posts: 952 From: Registered: Apr 2009
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posted October 13, 2010 12:30 AM
Beautiful It all happens for a reason... if you never went through it you would have made different decisions and wouldn't have the child (or children) you have now. For me that cements that it all happened for a reason, because she is the truest, most beautiful love I have ever known. IP: Logged |
seeker3030 Knowflake Posts: 227 From: UK Registered: Dec 2009
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posted October 14, 2010 02:29 PM
Oo that's a good one MM!
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StelliumH6 Knowflake Posts: 101 From: Registered: May 2009
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posted October 14, 2010 06:07 PM
Seeker~ I am going to print out your list. I love life lessons to be learned. I have country plagues with sayings on them displayed throughout my house.IP: Logged |
IamLoved Knowflake Posts: 17 From: Registered: Oct 2010
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posted October 19, 2010 04:29 AM
I learned to leave guys alone!I have been single since August 2005 because I don't want my heart broken again Guys approach me but I just keep them as friends! Instead I just focus on my goals in life. I learned to solely love myself and God and to leave romantic love alone Katie <3 IP: Logged |
mintgirl123 Knowflake Posts: 151 From: Registered: Nov 2009
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posted October 19, 2010 07:36 AM
I learnt to not think about the future. Just take it one day at a time.Not to expect anything, bc then you'll be less likely to be let down. Not to trust completely ever lol.
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pisces moon Knowflake Posts: 8 From: Registered: Aug 2010
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posted October 23, 2010 12:52 PM
With my moon placement it's not surprising when I was younger I was attracted to people who needed my saving grace. They were all emotional wrecks and had alcohol and/or drug problems. To this day, I will say none of them were bad people they were just so lost and scared and didn't know any other way to deal with life. Unfortunately, I could show them other ways but they were not receptive to them.So from that I no longer am willing to bring people into my inner circle who drink-even socially or take drugs. I was never promiscuous but I had my share of friends with benefits which never turned out well. From that, I decided I wanted something real. I refused to even kiss someone unless we had been dating for three months. I figured to wait that long they either really cared about me or they were very desparate. It took some time but I met someone who did not drink at all, did not do drugs and was willing to wait. Turns out he was untreated bi-polar. From that I learned that I'm just not even going to try any more-hahaha. Seriously, though, since he's my son's father, I learned a lot about myself and gained alot of things I was lacking. I have this thing where if things get too tough or just aren't to my liking, I can severe ties without even blinking. But because of how children were considered after thoughts by my parents and other supposedly repsonsible adults, it was very important to me that my son not ever have to wonder what it would be like to have two parents who gave a crap about him in his life and to know his siblings and have a real brotherly relationship with them, I couldn't just walk away and be done with it. I had to stay and fight for what was in my son's best interest. To make a very long, long story short, my son's father ultimately chose to get help for his issues and therefore was allowed to be a father to our son and to his other children as well. I didn't take the steps I did to save the ex or even to save my son or his brothers. I did it because it was truly in the best interest of my son. If things hadn't turned out well then my son and I would have walked away because that would have been in his best interest. Wondering and being without the missing pieces of himself would have been less painful than living with what the reality would have been. I'm not actively seeking out another relationship-but I'm hoping when it falls into my lap and I know it will-heavy sigh, it will make me, at my core less jaded and afraid about relationships because that's what I really need but we shall see. IP: Logged |