posted January 12, 2012 02:21 PM            

I'm here now due to a relationship that has consumed my thoughts, my actions, my every waking moment.

A little background: I am a Sag. My birth number is three. I am married to a Scorpio. His birth number is nine.

In November I met a Cancer. Birth number 11...or two.

Mr. Cancer and I connected on a level I've never experienced before. Instant. Striking. Love. We both realized the connection was much more than physical...it is spiritual, cosmic. More than mere coincidence.

I began to withdrawal from Scorp...my marriage. Now, here comes karma. January and my Cancer is withdrawing from me.

I do readings on a daily basis...the question always centers around cancer and I and how this will come to pass. The cards always point to some sort of hold or suspension. Lion muzzled, Clenched fist (11) nearly always shows its face. He is 11.

I am sad and distraught that Cancer is withdrawing. I don't know whether to struggle to let go or struggle to hold on.

All I really want is the comfort of knowing that cancer and I will connect in the future once again. I am leaving him alone and waiting until he emerges from his shell. But will he?

and the ultimate question....why is this happening? I don't want to hurt when I think of Cancer because he is love and love shouldn't hurt.

I pulled three cards just now with this question in my mind. My Goodman cards are at home so I used Psycards. Here is what I got.

22 Stars
what is above is found below. go where the stars want you to go.

19 Peace
you'll find peace somewhere apart to grow a garden in your heart.

37 Prison
the door clangs shut. who holds the key to win you back your liberty?

Interestingly his name holds the anagrams
loner jury hold hole rote torn dreary tardy

He's been imprisoned before...he still deals with legal issues. Totally someone I wouldn't have imagined that I'd love.

Could it be that he's locked in an eternal prison?

The last card I pulled with this question:
will he contact me again?
17 Libido
The joy of life this potent juice is never yours for private use.

What are your thoughts?

posted January 13, 2012 10:16 AM            

22 is submission and caution
19 is prince of heaven
both of those cards come up numerous times during readings involving cancer and me

37 is related to good and fortunate friendships ... strong magnetism

and then my last card is responding to the will he contact me again question:
17 star of magi

First all of these added, reduce to five aka Mercury.
Cancer's name reduces to five. interesting, yes?

overall the message I'm getting here is that we are entering a new chapter of the relationship, that it's transitioning to something different. My feel is that this is happening because karma is leveling her judgement to me, more specifically for what I've done these past couple of months which is all but abandon my marriage. My cancer is now withdrawing from me, as I have done aka submission and caution/peace. To find himself, be on his own journey, do what he needs to do for himself. This leaves room for me to follow my own stars or destiny, fulfill my wants and desires, and focus on my union. I can't dislike or have any ill feelings towards my Cancer for withdrawing because it's my life's lesson learned. Sure my heart hurts but that's the selfish part of me...So the end message is to release myself from this self inflicted prison, realize what he taught me about me, and let him fly.

17 teaches me that perhaps he may call again in the future...libido says he'll miss that part of the connection...it also says he won't be shy.