posted January 09, 2012 07:24 AM            

What do you think about this when you look at her chart? Are there any "redeeming" aspects in her chart that show a possibility that she'll have children (maybe later in life) after all? What about the 5th house?? Is it more children related and more important or not? Please, help, she's very distressed, and so am I. Thank you.

The chart:

posted January 09, 2012 07:46 AM            

However, I still wanted to express some words of hope, if that is all right.

First, I have to say that nothing in life is "the only thing that can make you happy". Happiness has to come from within. External things, like marriage and children, can add to a person's happiness, but they cannot create it entirely.

Second, would she be open to considering adoption, foster care, volunteering with children/mentoring, charity work, or anything of that nature? Even if she can't be a biological mother, she can still make a difference in the lives of children and can still bring her love and light to them in other ways that would profoundly affect them for the better. She can still make a difference in childrens' lives. I don't mean to be insensitive or anything, but I just can't help but get an intuitive feeling (and I could be wrong, but this is just what I feel while I'm typing this) that this person has great potential to bring peace, stability, and healing into the lives of children who may not have ever had that--she could really help transform children's lives for the better. So, again, I see hope for her: even if she can't biologically have children, she does have some options.

I myself am on the opposite end--I never want children and am in the early stages of getting an IUD and/or possibly being sterilized--but I can definitely relate to feeling powerless about these issues, and as someone who believes completely in reproductive choice, I do feel bad for any woman--regardless of whether she wants children or if she wants never to have them--who doesn't have complete control in this situation. So, I offer my own sympathy--from the 'other side', but still sincere and with genuine compassion and empathy. I can't honestly relate to her situation exactly as she experiences it, but, woman-to-woman, I feel bad for her that she might not have complete say in this matter; being powerless is a horrible feeling, and I do not wish it on anyone. My wish for her is that she will find strength and courage within herself.

Whatever the case may be with her, I hope that she will find comfort and peace, and that she will find a way to be that nurturing figure in children's lives, as she so wants to do.

posted January 09, 2012 08:00 AM            

She has Mercury & Mars in the 8th, so you can see how big her desire to EXPERIENCE pregnancy & all things related to birth, that's why it pains her, cause it's really her BIGGEST WISH, children are not just one of the important things, they are THE MOST IMPORTANT thing to her...I'm sure she could adopt, but it's still painful & she'd feel empty as a woman who didn't fulfill her "role" in life...

I, on the other hand, am on the same page as you, RegardesPlatero, I have no wish to have children, although a few people who declare themselves as "professional astrologers" have told me I'll have children, more than just 1, that is...many...I have no idea where they get that, I have no wish for marriage either, but I won't raise any children, especially outside the normal harmonic family conditions...But I can still understand her, cause I know her, and I know this is the most important thing to her, she's an only child too, so she'll want more children...

posted January 09, 2012 08:57 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Chaos:
Well, thanks for the answer & best wishes, anyways...

She has Mercury & Mars in the 8th, so you can see how big her desire to EXPERIENCE pregnancy & all things related to birth, that's why it pains her, cause it's really her BIGGEST WISH, children are not just one of the important things, they are THE MOST IMPORTANT thing to her...I'm sure she could adopt, but it's still painful & she'd feel empty as a woman who didn't fulfill her "role" in life...

I, on the other hand, am on the same page as you, RegardesPlatero, I have no wish to have children, although a few people who declare themselves as "professional astrologers" have told me I'll have children, more than just 1, that is...many...I have no idea where they get that, I have no wish for marriage either, but I won't raise any children, especially outside the normal harmonic family conditions...But I can still understand her, cause I know her, and I know this is the most important thing to her, she's an only child too, so she'll want more children...

Anyone else wants to contribute with their (astrological) wisdom?

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Eighth house is sex, though, and neither Mercury nor Mars have anything to do with children. Children would be the 5th house.

I do notice that she has a 5th house Jupiter in Aries. Jupiter is the planet of expansion and good fortune.

(at least, that is how I personally understand it).

I have an 8th house moon, for what it's worth (and in Cancer to boot), and have no desire for children. I'm very strongly opposed to it and will do absolutely anything and everything in my power to remain without them. I don't think that the 8th house is connected to children at all.

I also have a 5th house north node in Aries, like she does, but again, I really am not fond of children at all, and am strongly anti-motherhood for myself. So, I don't think that the node is it, either.

posted January 09, 2012 10:19 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
I'm very strongly opposed to it and will do absolutely anything and everything in my power to remain without them.

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posted January 09, 2012 09:12 PM            

The ruler of her 5th house is mars and the ruler of her first is Jupiter and her mars squares jupiter. I imagine this explains her difficulties conceiving.

Her mars biquintiles saturn and her jupiter trines saturn. I am thinking this means she will have a better shot at conceiving after her first Saturn return which occurs at the age of 29.

posted January 09, 2012 10:49 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by amowls**:
Actually, with the house system posted, the ruler of the 5th is Venus because its intercepted in Taurus. In that case, it opposes Saturn Rx, which doesn't really bode well for fertility.

Didn't want to say it before, but there that is.

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posted January 11, 2012 06:30 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Chaos:
Yeah, I want to know that too....Regardes, it almost seems like you're scared of even the possibility that you might have kids! I know I'm indifferent to that subject, I don't care if I'll have them or not, now I don't want to, but I'm not so definite about it, like you are...Chill, kids are not that bad ...Why would someone want to get sterilized, people change, I don't know if I'll start wanting kids one day, now I really don't, but who knows...

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Chaos, I don't mean to be rude, but frankly I am 100+% sure and would like not to be judged on this. I am going to please ask that from now on, you not make any more comments like that towards me. (I am not asking you to never to speak to me at all, and I do not wish it to come to that, but I would prefer that you not express any comments to me that are against my personal views on this issue, please).

I tried to be courteous, caring, and supportive--and of someone who has a completely different viewpoint on this issue. **I** showed **you** and your friend compassion and sympathy, and frankly I do not appreciate the way that you responded to me. I am not trying to personally attack you, and I do not think that you are a bad person, and I don't hate you, but I am just being honest.

I will simply say that not every woman wants kids. I don't really know why people can't wrap their head around it. I am simply not a kid-person and have other things that I want out of life. I don't have to justify my choice to anyone, and no one has any right to judge me for it.

And yes, for some of us, kids ARE that bad.

Not every woman wants to be a mother, and that is completely fine. Different life choices are right for different people. One person's heaven is another person's hell.

It's a complete myth and a fairytale lie that motherhood is something that just magically makes life all sparkly unicorns and rainbows. The reality is that it messes up a lot of things and it doesn't leave every single woman fulfilled. Andrea Yates and Susan Smith ring any bells? Or the many other mothers that you hear about in the news who couldn't stand it or take it anymore and finally snapped? It's not "different when it's your own". Some people are just not parent material. I happen to be one of those people. I don't know how else to explain it but that.

Babies are stressful. Children are stressful. It isn't some kind of picnic or a greeting card. They are an ENORMOUS responsibility, and frankly they are NOT always a blessing. Children aren't little dolls that you can just chuck away and get rid of; you're stuck with them for the rest of your life. Frankly, I don't believe that anyone should enter into parenthood at all unless they TRULY know what they are getting into, have a strong support system, have spent considerable time with kids, and also have financial security and stability. It isn't fair to the child at all.

I have spent enough time around children to know that I do not enjoy spending time with them. I've spent enough time around expectant women to know that I don't want to do that to my body. I've spent enough time fighting for my freedom and my ability to make my own choices in my life to know that being free is important to me. I've been around parents enough to know how stressful it is to have even one child.

posted January 11, 2012 06:35 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Doreen:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by RegardesPlatero:
[b] I'm very strongly opposed to it and will do absolutely anything and everything in my power to remain without them.

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I genuinely don't mean to be rude, but I don't feel that I have to justify my choice to anyone. The only person who has any business, right, or authority to decide things in my life is me.

However, since you asked, and since you simply kept it at that, I will simply say that I've given this issue thought and consideration and prayer over the years, and have done my research thoroughly. I have also been around people who have had children and seen what their lives are like. I do not want to be a mother. I have other things that I want for myself. I have felt this way since I was at least 15 years old (the earliest that I wrote down feeling that way in my diary) and it has not changed at all since then.

Parenthood is right for SOME, but not for ALL. I am one of the people for whom it would not be right. Period.

Again, I don't mean to be hateful (I am trying to write this as calmly and respectfully as I can), but I want to simply not be judged for being true myself. If people want their choice to have children to be respected, then THEY should respect MY choice not to have them. For my part, I do try to respect the choice to have kids. I don't personally agree with it, but, other than cautioning people to make sure they want it and to have a realistic idea about what it's like so that they aren't shocked, and advising them to have a good support system and loving people around them, I'm not going to tell them not to do it. I don't want people to tell me that I have to do something that's not right for me, so I don't want to do that to others.