|
Author
|
Topic: Ladies - chime in - setting dating boundaries
|
moonstruck87
Knowflake Posts: 576
From: Indianapolis, IN
Registered: Mar 2011
|
posted March 16, 2014 10:46 AM
  
What boundaries do you have when you date?
My biggest one is not waiting around on the guy to call & I don't initiate any communication until things are more establishedI think boundaries are very important to make clear from day one I am wondering though, ladies... What do you do when a man you're seeing has crossed the line?
Do you give a warning? Do you move on? Chime in  xo IP: Logged |
LostTaurus
Knowflake Posts: 529
From: Conway, AR, USA
Registered: Jan 2014
|
posted March 16, 2014 10:53 AM
I generally set my boundaries pretty clearly, and the ones I have are directly relative to respect for my person, my feelings and my time and space. Most men know pretty quickly when they've breached a boundary because I tell them, calmly and in person so I can look them in the eye. If it's one I feel like they've breached through abject thoughtlessness or callousness, they don't get another shot. I just don't have time, energy or focus for raising another one.My personal experience has been that, if they care enough, they'll rise to the occasion; if they don't we both move on. Too many fish in the sea! IP: Logged |
moonstruck87
Knowflake Posts: 576
From: Indianapolis, IN
Registered: Mar 2011
|
posted March 16, 2014 10:58 AM
I love the way you pointed out raising them - SOOO true!! I already have a little boy to raise IP: Logged |
Jerseyshore
Knowflake Posts: 36
From:
Registered: Feb 2014
|
posted March 16, 2014 11:49 AM
I think it depends on the boundary that is crossed. If the line in the sand has been drawn and ignored then I'd say move on. Sometimes though you have to allow for a learning curve.
I am all about maintaining my own time & space. If a man comes on too strong or needy I always book. IP: Logged |
MinceyMouse
Knowflake Posts: 204
From:
Registered: Jan 2014
|
posted March 16, 2014 01:16 PM
Well, I'm going to create a boundary soon. I just don't know how to do it to a hurt puppy looking for affection. Seriously. Either way it must be done. I know one guy who had crossed the line more than twice- and it didn't end well. He ended up hurt, and I withdrew from him. The other guy didn't respect my boundaries, therefore did not respect me, and I told him to sod off. In my experience, it's been within the second time meeting up one-on-one that when you mention that you don't want X to happen. IP: Logged |
FairyDust75
Knowflake Posts: 201
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013
|
posted March 16, 2014 01:19 PM
You have to make sure that you don't feel guilty about whatever boundaries you've set for yourself. Don't compromise what will or won't make you feel comfortable. If someone can't respect you and your feelings then they aren't worthy of your attention. I do alot of online dating and I have a few of my own that I always stick to when talking to or meeting someone for the first time. Don't compromise what you want for the sake of not hurting someone's feelings.IP: Logged |
moonstruck87
Knowflake Posts: 576
From: Indianapolis, IN
Registered: Mar 2011
|
posted March 16, 2014 05:45 PM
quote:
Originally posted by FairyDust75:
You have to make sure that you don't feel guilty about whatever boundaries you've set for yourself. Don't compromise what will or won't make you feel comfortable. If someone can't respect you and your feelings then they aren't worthy of your attention. I do alot of online dating and I have a few of my own that I always stick to when talking to or meeting someone for the first time. Don't compromise what you want for the sake of not hurting someone's feelings.
This is so true! If they truly care they will rise up to meet your standard! That's how we weed out the boys from the men! Loving all the feed back IP: Logged |
littlecloud
Moderator Posts: 2655
From:
Registered: Nov 2010
|
posted March 16, 2014 06:37 PM
quote:
Originally posted by FairyDust75:
You have to make sure that you don't feel guilty about whatever boundaries you've set for yourself. Don't compromise what will or won't make you feel comfortable. If someone can't respect you and your feelings then they aren't worthy of your attention. I do alot of online dating and I have a few of my own that I always stick to when talking to or meeting someone for the first time. Don't compromise what you want for the sake of not hurting someone's feelings.
I think this is the most important thing. I believe that women more than men are general people pleasers and therefore tend to compromise in ways that are essentially harmful to them. IP: Logged |
LostTaurus
Knowflake Posts: 529
From: Conway, AR, USA
Registered: Jan 2014
|
posted March 16, 2014 06:43 PM
quote:
Originally posted by littlecloud:
I think this is the most important thing. I believe that women more than men are general people pleasers and therefore tend to compromise in ways that are essentially harmful to them.
SOOOO agreed! And we don't have to. Not that compromise isn't necessary - of course it is! What's more, it's very healthy. But when compromise begins to feel like sacrifice, there's a real problem. IP: Logged |
FairyDust75
Knowflake Posts: 201
From: USA
Registered: Dec 2013
|
posted March 16, 2014 06:53 PM
It's ok to compromise at times but just don't lose site of what feels right for you. If you don't feel right or it's really going to hurt you then don't give in. IP: Logged |
moonstruck87
Knowflake Posts: 576
From: Indianapolis, IN
Registered: Mar 2011
|
posted March 16, 2014 07:06 PM
I've learned establishing the boundaries up front is extremely important otherwise they'll make excusesI am still learning more boundaries all the time IP: Logged |
Lindaland
UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! 
