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Author
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Topic: Urgent exchange; should I move in with this stranger?
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melodiemelodie
Knowflake Posts: 169
From: Montreal,Qc,Canada
Registered: Jul 2014
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posted September 16, 2014 10:57 AM
  
hello lovelies,
as a few of you may know, I am in the process of moving out of my parents/apartment hunting. I met this guy on the Internet; a student in theatre at my university. He is quite nice but I feel so iffy about him (he's gay and smaller than me so not that I feel unsafe)...I just feel...argh I don`t know, red flags, he's a bit pushy maybe..I think I just answered my own question but here it goes: should we move in together? Yes no if not why? Thank you!
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tphoenix5
Knowflake Posts: 703
From: USA
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted September 16, 2014 11:12 AM
I would love to say yes but NO. I feel he would be too hard to get along with. I feel you would be put in a position you would not enjoy. Also, his energy... he feels as though he may want to use his friends to gain access to men. I have a lot of gay men friends. This is not about him being gay... it is what his energy feels like.?IP: Logged |
MinceyMouse
Knowflake Posts: 1204
From: Ingerland
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted September 16, 2014 11:29 AM
Big fat no. NO NO NO NO NO NO. Pushy will mean the both of you will fight like cats and dogs. NO. IP: Logged |
melodiemelodie
Knowflake Posts: 169
From: Montreal,Qc,Canada
Registered: Jul 2014
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posted September 16, 2014 12:30 PM
quote:
Originally posted by melodiemelodie:
hello lovelies,
as a few of you may know, I am in the process of moving out of my parents/apartment hunting. I met this guy on the Internet; a student in theatre at my university. He is quite nice but I feel so iffy about him (he's gay and smaller than me so not that I feel unsafe)...I just feel...argh I don`t know, red flags, he's a bit pushy maybe..I think I just answered my own question but here it goes: should we move in together? Yes no if not why? Thank you!
yes!! I feel used.. I feel he likes me but for the things I can do for him.. like he wanted to stay at my parents while we apartment hunt. But we just met. I hate being put in the spot like this; I told him my parents are not comfortable with that idea, and he asked if he could meet them and maybe change their mind. He is an actor, so I can see him as being a good liar and good at manipulating. You guys are right! Thank you! What are your questions? IP: Logged |
tphoenix5
Knowflake Posts: 703
From: USA
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted September 16, 2014 12:44 PM
I am more worried that you would carry all the burden of the bills. My question is there anything I can do for my flatmate (housemate) to help her? She is very upset right now.. (a lot of different things) and I am trying to be supportive without interfering. Thank you! IP: Logged |
MiaPluto
Knowflake Posts: 732
From: Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Registered: Aug 2014
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posted September 16, 2014 04:24 PM
It seems like for some reason he hates his current place of living and really wants to live with you at your house. But you prefer for him to stay where he's living currently. You want to take the best decision. You are afraid and are not trustful of him.It seems like he is really trying to escape/move away from something/someone he fears, most probably someone he sees at work around on a daily basis. He's fearful of something/someone. But he is harmless. He's just thinking according to his heart. He really wants to live with you right now. At first, you two might not know each other well but in the end I can assure you you two will get along well, even if you two are a bit different from each other you two will grow to like each other. It seems like you are the wise one, and he's more childish/emotional kind of person. I think you should give him a chance because I don't see any harm in that. He seems like a sweet guy and he's going through some scary times right now himself. I don't think you will let him live with you anytime soon. But you will eventually let him. It will just take some time for you to trust and understand him. He will also try hard to gain your trust. ------------------
Mia x IP: Logged |
tphoenix5
Knowflake Posts: 703
From: USA
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted September 16, 2014 04:43 PM
Let's say for a minute that Mia is correct. Then my answer to him would be I want my first place to be my place. If you need a place for a day or two you can come and visit but my parents are watching and I want them to be proud of me. Or something to this affect. And then, if, over time, he proves to be a good ally and you will KNOW him then, then you could change your mind. I know how hard it is to say no. I may be basing my own judgment here on a man I let live with me. I did not know him. He sang a pretty tune and I let him live with me. He stole my stereo and other things. My gut said no but I was afraid to tell him something that would hurt his feelings. SO, I could very well be biased in this. I try to be a good roomie but I have had quite a few at my current age. Some good, some not so good... but I knew when he moved in,.... no good would come of it... and nothing did. This is something you have to ask yourself. For me there is nothing more sacred than my private space... even if it is just a bedroom... for you could be something else.T IP: Logged |
MiaPluto
Knowflake Posts: 732
From: Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Registered: Aug 2014
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posted September 16, 2014 05:10 PM
I strictly answered from what I saw in the horary chart. I did not add my personal opinions in it.That's what the chart indicated and showed me. I can upload it if you want. x ------------------
Mia x IP: Logged |
tphoenix5
Knowflake Posts: 703
From: USA
Registered: Apr 2011
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posted September 16, 2014 05:17 PM
No, I guess I did not write this correctly. I was playing my own devil's advocate. I think you have made valid points. Please do not take offense, as I meant NONE!IP: Logged |
Twitterbird05
Knowflake Posts: 664
From: USA
Registered: Feb 2013
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posted September 16, 2014 05:20 PM
Just to put my two cents in: I've lived with many strangers as roommates, and if you get any hint of not getting along with someone that is a RED FLAG. Your intuition has already sent off bells and whistles in your head. Look for a roommate who is low key, low maintenance and responsible. Your home and who you live with is directly correlated to your personal happiness. Look elsewhere, give him some excuse and say NO. IP: Logged |
MiaPluto
Knowflake Posts: 732
From: Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Registered: Aug 2014
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posted September 16, 2014 05:27 PM
I don't know how to read cards, but I can do a card reading for you online and let you know their names and you can then guess the answer.Your question: Should I trust him and let him move in with me? Is he a genuinely trustable person? 2 of wands: the past. You felt like finding a new roommate would be a good idea. You thought it would be a good opportunity. 5 of swords: the present. You feel defensive and angry. You don't trust him. You may have been through bad things in the past which cause you to not trust anyone right now. 6 of cups: future. You will feel comfortable with him. He will remind you of your childhood and you will feel like a child again. You two will develop a nice friendship and at home you will feel safe with him. You'll feel like old friends and he will become like a part of your family. I am getting a similar answer for this as the horary. You can judge this on your own. xx ------------------
Mia x IP: Logged |
MiaPluto
Knowflake Posts: 732
From: Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Registered: Aug 2014
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posted September 16, 2014 05:31 PM
quote:
Originally posted by tphoenix5:
No, I guess I did not write this correctly. I was playing my own devil's advocate. I think you have made valid points. Please do not take offense, as I meant NONE!
I did not take any offense tphoenix.  don't worry. xx ------------------
Mia x IP: Logged |
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