posted June 20, 2015 11:10 AM            

This is about a guy I've been involved with for about 6 to 7 months now (his initial is P.)... Recently I've been feeling him changing his behaviour towards me, even this past week he didn't talk to me as much as we used to, since we talked every single day, even if it was just to keep in touch with each other.

I let myself get attached and now I'm feeling very hurt that he is making me feel like I'm disposible in his life and not even being upfront with me about his change in attitude. I haven't confronted about it yet because I'm giving him space, just waiting for him to contact me. But the fact that he doesn't approach whatever issue there might be with me and just chooses to kind of create a distance, hurts.

I did say something to him yesterday, just to let him know about some academic stuff, but he was cold with me and didn't reply to my last message. Wednesday was good, I actually told him about a very private part of my life. On Thursday he got more cold and distant towards the end of the day.

So if someone could please look into why he is behaving like this now, I'd greatly appreciatte it... Has he lost attraction for me? Am I just boring to him now? Or is he busy with other stuff in mind? Please note these are all my perceptions of the situation, I have no idea if that's how he is perceiving it too.

I can exchange if you also have questions of your own, just probably not today because I'm feeling very drained as I barely had any sleep last night and had to wake up early for an exam today, plus the way I'm feeling right now doesn't help... But I'll try to look into it tommorrow morning, after I have a good rest.

posted June 20, 2015 11:55 AM            

I don't think he has really made up his mind when it comes to his feelings for you. He is in two minds about it, which explains his hot and cold behavior. There is a stalemate here and he is restless about it, almost like it bothers him to think about what to do with you. So he would rather not get too involved and leave it at that, his actions are indeed cold and insensitive, because he's not thinking about you.

Nine of swords shows that he is having troubles of his own, and its mostly what he's concerned about. Is he having financial problems or there is some kind of discord within his family? This is one of the reason he's not appreciating what he has with you, almost like he's emotionally unavailable. I think he's this way because he is not at his personal best right now. The king of wands represents him, sitting on his chair feeling restless and filled with anxiety.

I hope this helps give you some insight into his mind.

posted June 20, 2015 02:20 PM            

Thank you so much for your kind advice. Even if it's not a reading, believe me, to read those words help just as much, or even more so.

It's not easy indeed. I did back off from communication actually the other day... I was already feeling him a bit distant with me at times, and last weekend since late Saturday I started to feel it again. So on Monday I decided to step back and let him do the talking, if he wanted to. I didn't want to feel like I was bothering him, so I didn't contact him, but neither did he. That was the first day since all those months that we didn't spoke to each other at all. It was hard just knowing that something was off and I was feeling this unhealthy panicky feeling of fear of loosing that connection with him. Still, I didn't message him. On Tuesday I maintained the same posture... But he ended up contacting me by dinner time with some lame excuse to talk to me, in my opinion. I'm not sure what was going through his mind, but he was acting coldish and was under the impression that I was in a bad mood, even though I was perfectly fine and tried to show him I was okay with us not having talked since Sunday. He seemed to be somehow affected that I didn't say anything since then either, even though he didn't say so. On Wednesday he started the conversation with a reply to what I had last said on late Tuesday night, so that's how we kept talking.

But today it feels different. I'm sure he wasn't going to contact me yesterday and he only replied once to me. He just ignored what I said afterwards. I did reply a long time after his response just to, again, give him space and not let him think that I'm all over him, since he hadn't said anything to me all day... But still, if he was okay with me, he would've said something. And today still no word from him. I bet I won't even hear from him this weekend... And I'm not really sure when, at this point.

Yes, we know each other in person. He's in one of my circle of friends, we met at university. I'm with him frequently, however we haven't seen each other much lately due to being focused on studying for exams and his lack of interest, perhaps. That is indeed a great idea to meet him and talk about this, I'm just not sure he would feel comfortable with it. I think it's easier for him to express his feelings by writting. Also, I just don't want to crush in front of him and let him know just how much I actually care for him... I don't want to scare him. I'm afraid our good friendship gets hurt by this aswell.

posted June 20, 2015 02:33 PM            

I can't really say those are happy news, but I appreciatte the honesty and it wouldn't surprise me to find this to be true. I think he is confused aswell... And since you mentioned him being emotionally unavailable too, I have to say that he is still quite emotionally attached to another person, despite what he may feel about me.

It is very "him" to just ignore the problem and pretend it isn't there. To not deal with it until it disappears. But if he contacts me again, I'll be sure to touch this subject. I need closure for myself. I just can't be left in the dark... I deserve answers, specially after all I've done for him. I just don't understand how he cannot appreciatte that and act like this with me. I deserve honesty, as much as it may or not hurt. I deserve that respect.

The only "financial problem" I see, that is actually also related to his family, is that he just bought a car with the help of his father's money, but I really don't know if there's any current issue with that. I know his father is very uptight about his money.

Thank you for the reading. Is it okay for me to ask you how you see this unfolding? Even if just for the near future.

posted June 20, 2015 11:34 PM            

I asked how things will unfold for the both of you in the next three months. Each of the card came with a really negative clarifier. It talks of happy expectations being shattered. I asked how it will unfold for the both of you, so I think he did expect to have something happy with you too. Expectations of having emotional stability with each other will only bring extreme disappointment. Four of wands is a card about happiness and commitment. But it is accompanied by the three of swords, it denotes heartbreak caused by a third person involved. I think your relationship or connection with him has always been draining. There is a strong desire but it's not for your highest good. There's a revelation in the future that's going to throw the both of you off balance, causing major conflict.

I'm sorry it was so negative. I think the cards were there for a reason, it is up to you what you want to do but for your own sake, please cast aside any expectations or feelings you have with him. The position of the cards strongly suggest it will only cause you heartbreak if you continue to do so. It is not a loss for you in any form, based on the way he's been treating you. Its a call for you to learn to put yourself first.

posted June 21, 2015 07:30 AM            

It feels very nice to have the support of someone who went through exactly what I am going through at the moment. And knowing that you managed to overcome those situations, does provide me with a comforting feeling that one day I'll be able to get over this too, and become an even more stronger woman because of it.

It really is a day by day thing. On Friday I really felt myself getting better... I was feeling myself getting back to my usual "upbeat me", and it wasn't just me trying to push it... It was genuine, even though I was still feeling sad about the situation, of course. And then yesterday I totally broke down again. Today I got some rest and feel slightly better, but just writting about this gives me that "lump in the throat" sort of feeling, like I want to cry.

Thank you for the suggestions, those are really sensible and wise. I think I may do something like that when we talk again...
He didn't contact me yesterday, by the way, as I was already expecting... At this point, I'm even really starting to wonder if he will ever do so, unless I actually try to talk to him. I didn't want to be the one doing so... I don't want to be all over him if he doesn't want to talk to me. But, on the other hand, I need to at least try to find answers for myself, so I can live better with this. I will give him a week... I have my last exam for this month on Friday and his is on Saturday, so if he doesn't say anything to me until then, I might contact him on Sunday and try to find out what's going on. This is all in theory of course, I'm not actually sure if I will contact him at all or even if I'll end up contacting him sooner, but I feel this would be a good decision, despite me being the one reaching out.

He was such a present part of my daily life, and now he's not there anymore. I don't understand how can't this possibly be affecting him either, or if it is, why he doesn't do anything about it.

posted June 21, 2015 07:52 AM            

No need to be sorry about it, as much as it hurts, I don't want to be illuded. The first step for me to get over it is to deal with reality as it is.

To be honest, I've never really had much expectations about us getting into a "committed level"... You're right, this connection has always be very draining. Outside circumstances don't help our involvement, so we always kept it "low-key" (as there were good friends of ours who were deeply in love with us), and I always knew about the emotional attachement he has with another girl... I helped him a lot through it. She doesn't share the same feelings as him though and even treats him poorly at times, and me and a few other people actually know she's hidding things from him, lying and just using him for her own benefit. I tried to open his eyes about it some times before, but he wants to trust in what comes out of that girl's mouth and doesn't want to let go.

I've always seen this as a strong friendship tthat was built, along with a physical connection... But I obviously fell for him. Maybe that's when things started to change. Maybe he picked up on that. Who knows. And of course when that happened, some hopes were created on my part, but I always had the clear notion that a lot needed to happen and change in order for us to have some sort of more serious relationship. The difficulties of it were always present on my mind and I tried as much as I could to keep my feet on the ground.

For now, the hopes I have is that we go back to what we had before. I just can't help it. But I'll try to not to feed that much and I'm sure as each day passes I will be able to accept more and more that it is what it is, and it's probably best for me to try and move on. To accept that what we had, belongs in the past. But since he doesn't give me closure or any explanations, I keep on wondering and that's why is hard to let go of the hope. I need clarity from him.

Thanks again for the reading, it does help me to put things into perspective. I will get to yours soon. Please not that I'm not on my full energy level, but I feel today I'm able to do this reading for you!

posted June 21, 2015 08:05 AM            

I know he has been talking with another girl from outside of town, but I don't think it was anything serious at all on his part... But who knows, we haven't really been talking about that lately, so perhaps there are some developments on this that I don't know about. I just really don't think he will commit to anyone at this point because he has been so attached to another girl up until this point... The girl from outside of town that he has been talking to could be falling for him though, for all I know. I don't know. He feeds her interest anyways, so it would be easy for her to start developing stronger feelings.

I do agree that he probably thinks that things between us are not as exciting as in the beginning. I can see the differences between now and then (obviously). But he could be upfront with me about it. If he doesn't say that to me to not hurt me, he should realize that he is hurting me even more by having this type of attitude towards me. Makes me feel neglected, as if he doesn't value me anymore.

We had such a close friendship, I guess that's what hurts the most... That we may be losing that too. I just really hope that things don't get awkward between us when we meet socially with our mutual friends, or that he treats me differently from any other friend. Others would notice for sure and I'm not sure of how well I'd be able to pretend that there's nothing going on...

I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I really don't believe the fight thing to be true... I mean, it's just not in his character to bring up confrontations like that, you know? He avoids that, if he can... But you could be picking up on an idea he may have on his mind, I don't know. Perhaps he thought about it.

posted June 21, 2015 09:00 AM            

Will anything happen for SereneDaze love-wise in the next 6 months?

I do see a good opportunity coming in the romance area for you... It seems that it will be on the more flirty side of things throughout these 6 months, just getting the feel of each other sort of thing... But the connection I see here is real and this guy won't be looking to use you in any sort of way, despite things being on the light side of romance. For the first couple of months I don't see much happening, but then I see this guy coming... It doesn't feel like he is very far from you, actually. He may come from your surroundings, or just being physically close to you. Either way, there will be good compatibility between you both... You will sense that you can trust this guy right away. I pulled a goddess oracle card for this and I got "Yemanya - Golden Opportunity"... I think it's pretty self-explanatory, lol. The card in itself is very positive and full of vitality, I think this guy may even awaken a feminine part of yourself that has been "asleep" lately.

What job would be good for SereneDaze?

Okay I get this really intense feeling that you'd be doing really well with something to do with helping others in some way... To be in service of others, either healing them physically, psychologically or spiritually. Have you ever been attracted to nursing or psychology, for example? I feel you're able to deal with others in a way that they don't see it as straightforward healing right way, but in fact you really do have a talent for this. I don't think you feel self-confident enough to do so though, so there's some work to be done there... You need a bit of grounding. I pulled the Ten of Cups for this, which confirms to me that you'd be successful at healing.

When will SereneDaze be doing better?

I can't say that it will be an easy path... You seem to be really drained by this. But you will be better, that I can say (and I feel it's connected to the coming of the man which I mentioned at question #1). I can't really say "when" but I see "water" and "fun" which makes me relate to the Summer time, but more to the later part of it I'd say... Again, you really need to work on your self-confidence and push through your obstacles, as much as you think you're not able to do this or that. You are. Financially, I can't say that I see stability, but I see a small improvement for the next 6 months... And it doesn't feel like it will get worse than this after that, so that's always a plus.

posted June 21, 2015 02:21 PM            

Which brings me back to my financial situation, I get really stressed out by university and I cant juggle a job at the same time. I keep going back and forth about getting a sales associate job because of the working hours. I guess only time will tell if I decide to do that. Also, its eerie that you managed to pick up "water" and "fun". I actually had a vision of doing some kind of water sports activity with a guy that felt like a love interest.

posted June 23, 2015 12:45 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by SereneDaze:
Wow Adimi what you picked up is so spot on and accurate. I cannot say for certain about the man you picked up but I hope I meet him! And yes you got it right when you said I need to be of service to others and to help people. I do feel this is one of my life's purpose and I have been doing paid readings for a few months now. But I don't see this as something I can make a living out of.

Which brings me back to my financial situation, I get really stressed out by university and I cant juggle a job at the same time. I keep going back and forth about getting a sales associate job because of the working hours. I guess only time will tell if I decide to do that. Also, its eerie that you managed to pick up "water" and "fun". I actually had a vision of doing some kind of water sports activity with a guy that felt like a love interest.

Thanks for the reading, and I hope you manage to work out that situation with him.

---

I'm so glad it resonated Serene... Before I started to "tune in", I was a bit concerned that my emotional state could get in the way... I don't usually do readings for people when I'm like this. But I felt better, so I gave it a shot.

Ohh that makes sense... Even if you can not turn it into a "full-time" job, I feel it would be important for you to keep that going on the side because that's what will make you feel the most accomplished inside.

It's so funny about the "water" and "fun" thing, that you had that vision aswell. And actually, the Oracle card I picked up for you is a woman emerging out of the water, with a dolphin in the background, which could suggest fun aswell. I really think that man will make you feel better about your life.

posted June 23, 2015 01:18 PM            

Alright everyone, just to let you guys know where me and him stand, at this point...

On Sunday, just after I posted on here, I felt a really strong urge to text him and ask him what was going on, even though just hours before I was planning not to be the one reaching out to him. I gave it a thought though, and I really didn't want to take the risk of spending that much time without any sort of contact, having that pending issue going on that was making me feel so horribly sad... So I felt it would be best for me & us to try to talk to him about it at least, just so we could at least clear up some misunderstandings that could be happening due to lack of communication.

So I texted him. He replied soon afterwards and was very welcoming to my contact. I asked if something was going on... He seemed to be genuinely concerned with the fact that I was asking it (although I'm sure he already had an idea of why I was asking this). I told him that I was feeling him acting differently towards me lately and I was just wondering if something was up... He told me no, that he was just having some issues, which I got the impression that were family-related (so you might be right about that SereneDaze ) and that he was just spending a lot of his time studying. We continued the conversation during that day, but to the later part of it I felt him getting distant again, until he stopped replying.

It made me feel better knowing that he doesn't actual have a problem with me or anything like that, because the one thing I don't want is for our friendship to change because of this. I still feel like he is not telling me the whole story about how he has been feeling towards me, because of how our conversation ended on Sunday and the fact that he hasn't contacted me since (it's Tuesday evening here at the moment). Also, whenever he had issues, he used to talk to me about them and open up, even if just a bit... And just generally sharing things about his daily life with me. He's been having exams and doesn't even tell me how they went etc... I mean, it's not like I feel he should, it's not that at all, it just hurts knowing that before he would do that by his own initiative, and now he doesn't. I feel perhaps he might be getting a bit tired of my daily presence in his life and needs some space... I understand and I'm giving it to him.

I immediatly felt better after I cleared that up a bit with him. I can't say that I'm okay, though... It's still very hard for me to deal with this situation but I'm adapting myself to it and to the thought of rejection. I've never dealt with a situation like this before. I still find myself crying a bit at times, but there's a good improvement since Sunday. I still don't exactly know what is going on, but I have to not let him be the focus of my life. So that's what I've been trying to do. I have much inner work to do and I still hope that he contacts me, but I have to fight to keep the key to my happiness to myself and to not give it to him. I won't be messaging him unless I'm forced to (example: a friend asking me to ask him something etc)... But I can say for sure that I won't contact him first to chit chat, as before.

posted June 26, 2015 01:59 PM            

Is Cherful going to get the Nevada or Colorado job?

I'm liking more what I'm feeling with the Nevada one... Although you seem to be really unsure about it. Would you prefer the Colorado one? I'm getting that it would be more convenient to somehow, more on your comfort zone perhaps... But I see better chances with the Nevada one. It seems like the process of selection is going to take a while, though... Which may cause you to really disbelief that you may get it. But I see good chances.