posted February 14, 2024 07:11 AM            

This was my experience, but I also attribute a lot of it to Pluto squaring my Moon/Venus conjunction at the time, so for you it shouldn’t be so intense, but tPluto is squaring your natal Mars, so you may feel your actions/pursuits are blocked, especially in career. Now is the time to go deep emotionally… anyway in addition to my mother I also experienced divorce, the hospitalization of my father, and as a result the sale of the closest thing I had to a childhood home. I encountered a rather brutal environment at a new school that brought up my deepest wounds. I burned out - not “burned out” but really, burned out - and had to leave school to visit a different doctor/healer every day five days a week for two months. Then I still had to deal with more regarding my mother’s death, things that are unspeakable. I was also going through a limerent experience which further exacerbated deep wounds and needs for healing. I continually worked on healing as much as possible throughout all of this.

The best advice I can give is to understand your chart. Especially the Sun-Saturn square. Journal on how you feel it affects you and search through every situation for the lessons within it. It’s brutal, but we can use every situation to make ourselves wiser, stronger, more compassionate, just better human beings all around.

Since Saturn rules both your sixth and seventh houses, like my chart and experience, you are likely to deal with issues around partnership and mental and/or physical health, coworkers/classmates. For me, psychosomatic pains came up. Competition with classmates worsened by the Sun-Saturn square. And with Saturn deposited in the 8th, dealing with shared resources like joint bank accounts, property, and inheritance is likely.

I also strongly recommend investigating your north node. In Scorpio conjunct Pluto, it is so much about empowerment. Since it’s in the fourth, it also relates to motherhood - exploring your relationship with your mother and learning how to nurture and parent yourself in her absence is a must. And especially investigating the emotions - with your sun/moon in the thought axis and your south node in double earth, you likely tend to be very grounded and intellectual and may repress emotions. Though your grand water trine may make up for this.

Another really important piece is your Chiron in Leo in the first - I have this too. Combined with the Sun-Saturn square, self-esteem is hard to come by in this life but trust me, you can build it. I recommend Jessica Davidson’s writeups on Chiron placements - use them to jumpstart some journaling.

I am going to be taking a break from LL for awhile but I really wanted to respond to you and I’m sorry I didn’t reply sooner.

Books and resources that helped me include: The Power of Now, A New Earth, The Seat of the Soul, Letting Go by Dr. David Hawkins, Briana MacWilliam (attachment styles therapist) YouTube and online workshop, acupuncture, talk therapy, sensory deprivation, Joe Dispenza, Abraham Hicks, Susan Winter, the Bhagavad Gita (longtime and all-time favorite), a lot more spiritual and Buddhist books, breathwork, gosh so many things I worked on. Many of these I read or watched multiple times.

It’s important not to just take these things in mentally (your sun and moon being on the thought axis, you’re in danger of intellectualizing without practicing) but to really ground what you learn in your daily reality, through following through with action, physical action, and really doing for yourself what you need.