posted July 05, 2009 04:05 PM         

Well... I dreamt this last night:

I had to go to the Reiki course in the morning so I got up early (Getting up early is a sacrifice for me).

When I was getting ready to go, I started looking for my shoes... I couldn't find them... At the beginning I was calm, but while I was looking for them in all possible places where I could have put them and couldn't find them, I started to become frustrated... I tried to keep calm but I was becoming angrier and angrier. I kept thinking and thinking where else I could put them... but I couldn't think of any other place...

I even tried buying a new pair in a shop (right there in the house!!!) but there were none of my size or adequate (I could find high heels but I was going to a Reiki class!!!).

My sister and my cousin started to help me with no success (they usually help me in real life, they listen to my problems...).

I then found one shoe but not the other in the pair... and wasn't the one I was initially looking for...

My brother didn't know anything either... Then I start thinking that my mother could have put them away... because she has the annoying habit of re-locating things... of hiding them...

I was really mad by then. I was very late, I had been looking for my shoes for more than 30 minutes. I got up early to go to that class, I wanted to go and I was going to miss it!!

And my mother arrives. I ask her containing my anger... And she says "yes" completely unconcerned... She put them away for them not to be in the way.

posted July 06, 2009 06:08 PM         

My mother is a caring mother, overprotective and exaggerated, oppresive in some occasions... But in a way unsupportive... She's so negative about everything... we have learnt to fear the world from her...

I feel a lot of anger about her, I don't know really why... Her mere presence makes me mad... I feel really bad about it and even try to avoid her. It's not fair for her... but I can't help it... She awakens something in me... Some kind of deep anger, very rooted in my subconscious... wrath... despise... as if she was so weak that would not protect me when I needed it...

She is a sweet broken creature with no self steem left... yet I become wild when she is around. As if everything, whatever it is, was her fault.

Shoes? What are they symbolising?
No root? No base? A blocked root chackra?

The master, the day after the dream, spoke about the purification period, a healing crisis of 21 days afer initiation... 3 days per chackra... Starting for the root chackra... which blocked generates anger...