posted May 12, 2011 02:53 PM
I'm currently in a relationship with someone whose Lilith is conjunct my Sun, but I have a Sun/Mars/Mercury stellium and his Lilith sits right in the middle of all that, so I'm not sure if I can isolate "Sun conjunct Lilith" energy as well as you like....but I can try to add some more thoughts to the subject.My personal opinion is that significant aspects involving the sun are really important. I think having a lot of aspects to the Sun is essential, actually. After all, all the planets revolve around the Sun. So while I do agree that the Sun represents ego and identity, I think very tight aspects to the sun tend to assume the position of identity in the relationship, so to speak. Like for example, if someone's Mars is conjunct my Sun exact, when we're together I become very Mars-like, or maybe act out my Mars, even if there aren't significant aspects to my Mars. And maybe, since we all project, if I'm asked to describe this person to a third party, the first thing that comes to mind are their Mars qualities, even if they're not very Mars-like in general.
So, I think that Lilith conjunct the Sun both ways would probably make the two people act out and perceive from the other very Lilith-like behavior. I'm not 100% sure what Lilith represents in synastry, but I am sure that power is a component. There could be power struggles, or even a sense of empowerment, but controlled. If you look at the Lilith myth...she was banished because she wouldn't lie beneath Adam. Most would assume that she wanted too much power, and that is why she was disposed. But, think about it...sex is something that is very EMpowering. It's not that Adam would have lost power by letting Lilith run the show, it's that he wouldn't be in control of his own mortality, his own release. Rather than be in power it was really that Lilith wanted to administer the power, to be in control of it. Rather than a fear of dominant or controlling women, which most people would say the Lilith myth is about, I think the myth is about Adam's fear of domination and being controlled. There is a slight difference. Related: Adam is often linked to the Aries sign and Aries generally have an inherent need to feel in control of their own destiny. It's an insult to most Aries I know to treat them like they don't know what they're doing or interrupt their dogma. That's what Lilith was doing, exactly. Adam was trying to do what God commanded (if that's not dogma I don't know what is LOL) and Lilith was taking his sole purpose in life away.
So, bringing this back to synastry, I think Sun/Lilith keywords might be: interfering (-), dominating (-), power struggles (-), smothering (-), training (-/+), empowering (+), nurturing (+), molding (+). And all of these words are in relation to the Sun person's identity/sense of self/Sun energy. Interfering with my Sun energy, training my sense of self, molding my identity, etc.
For example, in my current relationship, I definitely feel like I am being trained, but unfortunately I feel like I'm being trained to be completely dependent on him. We keep going through a routine of him pursuing me, then turning off completely until I give up, then it starts again...the goal being me on my knees begging. I think this is a Lilith scenario all the way. And my Lilith is opposite his Mars, and I definitely feel this is more specific to Mars energy. For example, I have no impulse to mold him or anything like that, but when he is being extra Mars, I often find myself trying to cut him down without realizing it. A great example, last week he got very angry in public over something that was understandable, but I was appalled with the way he was acting in public. Not thinking of astrology at all, my first reaction was to chastise him for being so angry (ever chastised an Aries Mars?) and say "I'm not going to associate with you because this is how you act" and I ignored him until he apologized sincerely...which didn't happen until we had to leave and I had the keys to the car LOL. I was completely "training" his Mars behavior in a Lilith way.
I hope this helps somewhat for you.