posted July 16, 2012 11:12 PM            

We are separated. If I divorce him, Jordan law is that I get diddly squat.

I would like to get him to sell that good for nothing property and bring the money back to the U.s. so I could pursuade him to buy a home for us here. In the U.S. the woman gets at least half. Over there, diddly.

Besides asking him nicely, and then later showing my disdain for what he did, I don't know how else to get him to do it.

posted July 16, 2012 11:35 PM            

I'd like to learn more about the calculated risks, and covering bases.

posted July 17, 2012 12:04 AM            

for example, i will consider getting a joint account with someone. but keep a personal account that is only accessible by me. i would never put more into that joint account than i would into my personal account. i wouldn't hide it either. in doing so, they know that if they were to pull the rug under me and empty our joint account, i have something to fall back on. i could have thousands in my personal account and only contribute a few grand so it wouldn't phase me. if they were to empty the acct in spite, then hopefully this would discourage it because like i said, it would be futile.

posted July 17, 2012 03:44 AM            

The only thing I can think of for being sneaky is some kind of blackmail, something he'd really not want people in Jordan to know, for example (especially since it's obvious he wants to move back there). Of course that's a dangerous game and he might find it easier (or cheaper) to kill you than give you back your money. And you'd likely have to entrap him first.

posted July 17, 2012 02:52 PM            

We were married, we shared our money, I trusted that our goals were the same...

We were saving to buy a home in the US. He got starry eyed when he found out he could purchase land that he thought was expensive. He got a good deal.

He could keep some, I don't mind. The kids get it in the end, regardless.

But I want to be able to have something to fall back on when we are OVER.

I told him today that we really should jump on the recent foreclosures in our area, and buy a house cheap, in a lump sum. That way we don't have to deal with mortgage. I'm thinking I have to play quiet happy wife for a while, until I get him to hear me out.

He doesn't respect me, but that's how it goes.

posted July 17, 2012 03:01 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
You must seize control over your money. This man has no respect for you and it's likely what he's taken already you're not getting back. That's just how it works sometimes.

The only thing I can think of for being sneaky is some kind of blackmail, something he'd really not want people in Jordan to know, for example (especially since it's obvious he wants to move back there). Of course that's a dangerous game and he might find it easier (or cheaper) to kill you than give you back your money. And you'd likely have to entrap him first.

But if it were me I'd make sure he had no further access to what I make and the first thing I'd buy is legal advice from a good lawyer on options (with all the bank and tax statements I could find on both his and your finances, joint and otherwise, along with any deeds and other receipts and financial records on property with pix of his American properties, including things like fine arts, cars, and jewelry). The only sneaky thing I'd do is not give him any warning that I was considering legal action against him (that includes in not letting him know about your getting all financial records possible, including his own) so that he was hopefully caught flatfooted and thus more prone to lose in court.

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posted July 17, 2012 07:29 PM            

I just reread your post, and I laughed out loud!

He's not that diabolical that he has something to hide and that he'd KILL me if I spilled the beans.

Unfortunately, and I've check already, Jordan law states that the man owns everything. I could write up a contract and have him sign it, saying that I get half, but it would be null, according to overseas lawyers that I have spoken to. The rule is the rule over there.

posted July 17, 2012 07:39 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by esheep123:
I really don't like playing games, I like being up front and ask for I want, or knock it down if I don't want.

I'm an Aries, we ram ram ram. Thats what we do. No ******** , no sneakiness.
But apparently, a lot of people are manipulative, tactical and strategic. And i keep falling for it.

I'm am not saying I want to change for others, but sometimes, I want to get what I want too, and my current ways are not working.

How can I be more cunning? Any tips?

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I'm a triple Aries!!! I have the same problem!