posted April 03, 2023 11:57 PM            

So…I’m celebrating my birthday this month on the 21st, and like every year around this time, I’ve been expecting a lot of anxiety surrounding it. I swear weird things happen around my birthday…THIS year, good ‘ol mercury goes retrograde on my birthday AND…I will be experiencing an 8th house profection year. I don’t even know where to start or what to say. I’m truly speechless, I guess?

If anyone can please read my chart or even offer any kind of advice, I’d be most grateful and appreciative.

posted April 04, 2023 09:46 AM            

Anyways, enough about my life. I suspect that this feeling you have is likely from an undesirable event in the past(on your birthday) that you've "expected" to recur since.

Kinda like being bitten by a dog on a specific street corner. Then getting heart palpitations everytime you are around that street thereafter. Its post-traumayic stress

This can get to the point of where you even unconsciously train your brain towards a certain kind of confirmation bias in order to affirm the "i knew it. I just knew it would happen" eery feelings of discontent.

I must admit that since something joyous happened the previous year around my birthday, I dont have such a negative feeling around it anymore. I am also born on the 21st. But its December.

My mind expects pleasant things around December now. And even when the unpleasant may occur, i dont think that it will feel as personal anymore tbh.

Maybe take control of that day & consciously direct how it unfolds? I.e. take yourself out with someone, do something unusual but exhilarating? etc. That could be a way tp easen the stress. Also....purge in the early hours of the morning.

posted April 04, 2023 03:39 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mee_chryssa:
Depends where is your Sun, in which house. And what house it rules. If it's in the 12th/6th, or has some negative aspects, or rules a house that is not in a good shape, then it will manifest like a little bad period every year.

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posted April 06, 2023 01:57 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by bella_taurus:
The sun will be in my 10th house, but on other sites, it says my 9th. 😊

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posted April 06, 2023 03:45 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mee_chryssa:
What ASC are you? and what other aspects are to your Sun?

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In natal, I’m Aquarius rising, but in the solar return, I’ll be Leo 1st house rising. I’ll have to look at the solar return chart to check out aspects to the sun.

posted April 06, 2023 02:38 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by bella_taurus:
In natal, I’m Aquarius rising, but in the solar return, I’ll be Leo 1st house rising. I’ll have to look at the solar return chart to check out aspects to the sun.

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posted April 07, 2023 09:22 PM            

Some birthdays are more eventful than others. Natally, my Sun sign is a mixed bag. I have Sun Aries h11 trine Mars Aquarius h10, Square Saturn h9. So my birthdays since I was 17 there is always an energy of "I matter damn it!"

Also I realize that Uranus, NN, Mercury and Venus are all in my 12th house right now. I've felt such a need to reflect. I've been doing a ton of that since the summer!!! I got a lot busier in February. I started to socialize more on NYE. February I've been socializing and working. By the end of March I felt completely drained.

So this lone wolf **** is temporary and I feel like this is just necessary for when Mercury and Venus shift into my first house.
I finished Mars transiting my first house a few weeks ago. And all I can say is wow!!!!!! The late degrees makes a sextile to my sun and trines my MARS!!!!

I'll be shinning bright next month! I can't wait. I seem to be very happy in the month of May and June for some reason. The rest now, will be beneficial later.

But that moon cycle in late April did me "no favors" it squared my Jupiter. My head space plummeted. Now with the strawberry moon I feel content. I did go out on Wednesday. I feel better and more hopeful than I did at the end of March. It's just a part of life, but it is more barrable to be alone with my thoughts now.

Also my mom issues in a certain way, have been surfacing. Today I was like "what's with the mommy issues right now?" Natally I have Scorpio Moon conjunct Pluto and Lilith. so they have been a big part of my life.

I was like "what is the moon doing?!" The Scorpio Moon is still in the early degrees so not touching my Moon yet. So that's got to be it. My mom issues have really been highlighted over the years with the life transitions of getting married, have my marriage falling a part, leaving my husband, and the process of divorce. I'll probably spill more in Sweet Peas in the Rain.

I basically told my mom how I really feel today. I could articulate it so calmly because she has let me down so much to the point where I don't even react. But to get to that point with my mom, still sucks. Even though it's necessary it's still a huge downer. So that was kind of a buzzkill before deciding to plan my party.

And then my laptop was slow as molasses. The restart took forever. Kind of symbolic. But I kind of feel like I need to emotional purge before I plan it. I could be possibly be thankful later.