posted August 30, 2019 01:59 PM            

"As a writer, I’ve worked with my share of editors. I’ve appreciated every one of them. A couple of them, I’ve downright loved.

The editors I’ve loved working with have had something important in common. Their focus was on what was right with my work, instead of what was wrong with it. Eventually we got around to refining the disjointed thoughts and cleaning up the sentences that occasionally trailed off without any ending at all. In this, they were every bit as exacting as their job required. But the process began with their enthusiasm for the best of my writing, followed by coaching designed to help me bring the rest of it up to the same level.

All this is soothing for the writer’s ego, of course. But there’s also a practical lesson in there for any of us who find ourselves in a position of critiquing others, as parents, bosses, coaches, or even friends: most of the time, high standards combined with encouragement inspires better results than criticism alone.

This particular New Moon, with no fewer than five planets in Virgo, is a good time to meditate on one of the keywords commonly associated with this sign: criticism. Virgo’s criticism is a consequence of two other keyword qualities, discrimination and discernment. Like its opposite sign, Pisces, Virgo is idealistic, embracing dreams of perfection—but Virgo can be a bit pessimistic about the capacity of mere mortals to live up to these ideals.

While Pisces is blessed with the ability to overlook imperfection, Virgo is tasked with seeing each failing that stands between us and the vision. Sometimes, it must be said, Virgo indulges in negative criticism; the world is full of faults and mediocrity, and Virgo’s inability to ignore these things can turn her into a cranky scold. But sometimes, Virgo criticizes because she is enraptured by a vision of greatness that lies only a few punctuation marks away.

My mother was born with the Moon in Virgo. When I tell astrologers this, they tsk-tsk—”You poor thing!” they say, imagining a childhood spent practicing hospital corners and declining verbs under the supervision of a scowling prison matron. It’s true that Mom’s standards for us were high. Get good grades. Be polite. Always do your best. Be the bigger person. These were hard to live up to, and when we were small and learning these lessons, Mom tolerated nothing less than our best effort.

Expectations like these could be pretty rough coming from someone who doesn’t like you and has little hope that her opinion will improve with prolonged exposure. But luckily (and perhaps this is the influence of her Venus in Pisces peeking through), Mom made us feel that she really liked us. And even when she scolded, she prefaced her comments with something like, “I know you’re better than that.” Even when we really, truly weren’t.

Mom used to say that most people behave just about the way you expect them to behave. If you treat them as though you assume they’ll do the correct thing, then they will go out of their way to prove you right. I never figured out whether she was right about this, or whether she was just a really good judge of character and surrounded herself with diamonds in the rough. But for whatever reason, for more than three decades, I watched the unlikeliest people blossom in her presence. People loved her—not just because she was warm and friendly, but because she made them feel they were better people than they had ever imagined they could be.

I thought of Mom when a Virgo friend posted about honesty one day on Facebook. She wrote something like, “People think that being honest means criticizing people for everything that’s wrong about them. But I believe honesty also means that when someone is really wonderful, or has done something amazing, then I should tell them that.”

I like this perspective. My friend was not advocating that we massage others with condescending, Hallmark sentimentality. Rather, she reminded me that criticism doesn’t have to be brutal. That maybe criticism is best not when it tells us why we aren’t not perfect, but when it reminds us what we’re capable of being on our best day.

If you find yourself in a position of offering someone a different vision for herself, why not dispense with the litany of errors and failings, and instead offer a vision of what she might become— and more importantly, the ideal she envisions for herself. What if everything were to come together in just the right way—if she found the true center of herself, committed to the hard work of being and doing better, of humbly serving her vision? What would her paradise look like? And how can you help her get there?

posted August 30, 2019 06:22 PM            

I've always tried to find the fun in the work! *Heart* Find the way to turn work into play and derive satisfaction. (I was a 'fun' mom when it came to doing chores.)

Put Love in whatever you do (the 'best' you can), and you'll inwardly remember that you did.

And, Life is sooooo much easier when you have a 'place' for everything, and take the time to put 'everything' back in its place afterwards eventually?!

(music) Spoonful of Sugar (from Mary Poppins) [4:18] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftxnr28LDXc

Moon Virgo H(9)Leo
Near the MC Libra
sextile Uranus and Jupiter Cancer H8
Venus Taurus H5
square Mercury Gemini H7
trine Ceres rx Capricorn H2
T-square Nodes (bendings, ouch)

(music) You Raise Me Up (Josh Groban, with The African Children's Choir {H9}) [4:09] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aac_4V0uDRA

posted September 03, 2019 08:15 PM            

I'm not one to ever critique anyone else, that's just not my business. I don't place any sort of expectations on other people. Nor do I have any excessive standards for myself to live up to. I do enjoy sorting and putting in order, and I like creating efficient routines. Working as a librarian certainly suits my Virgo Moon. But I don't care too much, I have the ability to overlook imperfection too. I have a good pair of rose colored glasses that I view the world through. When it comes to art and aesthetics I even prefer imperfection. The best art is raw, broken, decayed... I think that might be my 8th house Venus showing.

posted September 04, 2019 12:01 AM            

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Originally posted by Nadja:

But I think I'm also more of a realist than an idealist. If I were to teach the world anything it would be the ability to find happiness exactly where you are. Not striving for some ideal paradise or working towards some distant vision. Accepting imperfection (neither overlooking nor critiquing/correcting) is how I work.

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My sun in Virgo opposite Moon in pisces forming a tsquare with Neptune near my AC like your style!

posted September 04, 2019 10:00 AM            

Once, I seriously considered going into Library Science. I lived to study! Spent sooo much time in libraries, with my nose to the books. Felt like it was my home. Loved the beautiful aroma/perfume of old and real books in the archives.

When I read a book, I devoured it!! LOL

You know the Library Congress Catalog Codes? {the Call numbers on the Copyright page}, I used to find 'mistakes' in call numbers there. They may have been simple typos, but I'd catch them.

There's a certain beginner astrology book.
There's a glaring error in their section on Virgo Moons!!

Every book worth its salt NEEDS a carefully done Index in the back of it, plus bibliographies that a Learner can chase down afterwards. I've gone down a lot of wonderful rabbit-holes, exploring those references.

Oh! Reference books... are holy-books. LOL

In the late 1980s/1990s I had an impressive home library with walls and shelves of cataloged reference-books. I could have opened my own tiny library!! I figure that in a past life I might have witnessed a precious library burn down. Traumatic memory?-- made me WANT to build my own little library "just in case" the community would need my books some day.

I donated sections of my collections, twice in my life. It helped two different very small colleges attain a higher accreditation level. That gave me a personal satisfaction.

When my own local library started to disintegrate its collections {had a reputation of being good enough to be a college-level reference center}, it was a sad, sad, process to witness. Took them around 3 or 4 years to clear stacks of fantastic books, to go to bare warehouse-looking rooms with internet accessible computers. Barely any books left in the place now.

Some governments (in USA) have been shutting down the collective communities library centers. Many children do not know 'how' to conduct a proper thorough detailed research.

I LOVE LOVE to do Research and to Learn.
It's like needed Meals of Nutrition to do so.

My Virgo Moon in the 9th House.
9th House is about Systems.
The over-arching view of Systems for systems.

(music) Reading Rainbow 🌈 Theme Song (Classic, Educ,TV) [0:52] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPqpmSWwuGk

posted September 04, 2019 01:59 PM            

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Originally posted by teasel:
One of my best friends from this board, was a Virgo Moon. I miss her.

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posted September 04, 2019 02:28 PM            

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
You mean Gabby?! She is another example of someone who is very kind to everyone and liked to help and be of service. I did not feel she was overly critical type of person.

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posted September 04, 2019 03:09 PM            

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Originally posted by teasel:
No, T. 26Taurus.

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posted September 04, 2019 04:46 PM            

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
T. 26Taurus? I don't remember that screen name.

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posted September 04, 2019 05:51 PM            

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Originally posted by teasel:
She just went by T, in recent years.

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posted September 04, 2019 11:37 PM            

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Originally posted by StubbornVirgo:
@teasel

I think you just described not just Moon in Virgo, but also the entire sign of Virgo perfectly.

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It was April Elliott Kent. She's one of my favourite astrology authors.