posted May 20, 2019 01:20 PM            

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
loose orbs can atill be felt, my mars-neptune is definitely there in spite of being loose

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posted May 20, 2019 02:29 PM            

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Originally posted by MMarie:
How does your mars/Neptune aspect play out? I know someone with a tight conjunction in scorpio but can’t see how it effects them. What is the orb?

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i'm not as focused as mars in cap generally is, the things im driven to pursue are typically only creative or meditative pursuits outside of sex and drugs and connections with other people

the whole loose boundaries and sex/drugs side of things is there, i've seen it connected with bi/homosexuality im bi (though i also have a venus-uranus aspect and ive seen people connect those as well) so there's that too

the lack of focus is probably worse with the uranus stuff in my chart too, but i tend to just aimlessly go through life and even the way i go about pursuing things isn't very structured and im not good at being that way

i can know all the steps and then just not be able to actually get from point a to point b things either come or they dont but if theyre something creative i can spend days hyperfocused on a song or something that just ended up happening but with other things i just cant no matter how hard i try

it's not even laziness it's just sheer inability to get **** done in any structured sensible timely manner

and the acting thing that comes with it, i know i can put on a believable show not in a formal acting setting but in person faking things and pretending and such to the point where people who know whats going on forget reality too (admittedly havent used that skill the best in the past)

i think maybe if i was a different mars it'd be less obvious but it seems like even the loose conjunction really ***** with it, but i also have sun trine neptune and my mars gets hard aspects from venus and my moon too

posted May 20, 2019 03:48 PM            

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Originally posted by MMarie:
Thanks Dumuzi. I can see how some of that actually happens with this person I know especially the part of not being focused at times. What do you mean by acting and putting on a show? Not in a Leo way by being over dramatic? Is it to deceive someone? The creative pursuits make sense with Neptune/Pisces aspects.

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the latter reason yeah, spent a good deal of my life using drugs so it's been necessary at times to be less than honest to hide it and ive done it as a reaction to being uncomfortable with people who have liked me who i wasnt into (goes along with the loose boundaries)

the focus thing is terrible though, i have other aspects in my chart to make it worse

posted May 20, 2019 03:51 PM            

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Originally posted by MMarie:
I think actually Pluto in the 4th has effected me the most or is the most prominent. I’ve had the typical Pluto in 4th childhood and get into these modes often of “trust no one”. I flip back and forth between that and this easy going, forgiving Leo stellium. Maybe the square to ASC is felt the most or most obvious to others. Hard to tell, but I have a lot of squares in my chart and it’s really all I feel sometimes is the square tension.

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posted May 20, 2019 04:53 PM            

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Originally posted by kani:
I read (can't remember where) that people with Pluto in the 4th are considered true Plutonians. I have that as well and had a very difficult childhood. Do you mind saying how your childhood was ?

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It was very unstable. Moved around a lot - lived with various family members/ friends etc. Relationship wasn’t amazing with parents. Definitely better with my mom now especially but my dad was what I would and probably many consider emotionally abusive. But things were always over looked or never acknowledged it drove me crazy and I always felt I was crazy because of it. Also lots of fighting between parents since I could remember. They divorced when I was young and hated each other ever since haha.

posted May 20, 2019 04:58 PM            

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
the latter reason yeah, spent a good deal of my life using drugs so it's been necessary at times to be less than honest to hide it and ive done it as a reaction to being uncomfortable with people who have liked me who i wasnt into (goes along with the loose boundaries)

the focus thing is terrible though, i have other aspects in my chart to make it worse

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posted May 20, 2019 05:22 PM            

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Originally posted by MMarie:
I think this person I know could also be deceiving at times. They have a Pisces moon too. But I know it’s not meant to hurt people. Like you said, only when they are in uncomfortable situations. And if you are creative then maybe the focus thing is about left side/right side of the brain thing. I am in a creative field and all of the people I work with including me have a hard time focusing. And we are all messy 🤣.

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yeah uncomfortable situations i just kind of shut down and i operate based on what kind of energy i'm getting off the other person, or if the other person feels something strongly and i dont but it makes me feel bad that i dont reciprocate

but also i mean i've done some **** in my life lol and being able to play things off has been important then too

if i'm going to be honest here

i'm messy too yeah, my fiancee and i are currently both talking about how if we do find a third person for us to actually date we need someone organized who wont hate us because neither of us quite understands how to be

and the focus thing is a real ***** , it either comes naturally (rare occasions) and then im hyperfocused i'll go days without doing anything other than whatever i'm working on hours at a time no breaks etc or it just doesnt happen even if i try

i'm pretty sure i'm just not made to function in society

posted May 21, 2019 04:17 AM            

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Originally posted by MMarie:
It was very unstable. Moved around a lot - lived with various family members/ friends etc. Relationship wasn’t amazing with parents. Definitely better with my mom now especially but my dad was what I would and probably many consider emotionally abusive. But things were always over looked or never acknowledged it drove me crazy and I always felt I was crazy because of it. Also lots of fighting between parents since I could remember. They divorced when I was young and hated each other ever since haha.

How was your childhood, if you don’t mind sharing?

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