posted April 05, 2021 08:41 PM            

Hi everyone. So there is this Scorpio man who I have became friends with over at another astrology forum. But ever since Ive became friends with him I find it so stressful.

It started off with me replying to his posts about his morning coffee. Then somehow he opened up to me about his mom having borderline personality disorder when I made about about my relationship with my mom.
I felt like he was quite lonely especially hearing about his story about his mom and how she would beat him. He's several years older than me, and is living alone. He has many nights of sadness so when he told me that I offered my support.
Somehow the messaging became an everyday thing that was just small talk. Then somehow he said he was falling for me.

At this point I just took it as a small crush. But after awhile it became difficult for me to keep up with his messages, since he'd message me everyday. I even told him that I was sorry if Im not able to reply in a timely manner because I am bad at messaging on time and dealing with problems of my own.I did my best though. He swore he didn't care as long as he had me.
But when a day would pass and I wouldnt reply he'd always act up. He'd say I missed you and stuff like that. And he would even say stuff like he doesnt think his love will ever get through to me, and that hes too sensitive, etc. I was taken back the first time this happened, so I remember just apologizing and telling him not to take it personal if I dont reply right away. He apologized and said he promised he wouldn't get mad anymore and patiently wait.

But he did it again when a couple days passed and I didn't reply. He throws a tantrum and I am left here feeling confused.

I originally wanted to just be here to be someone he could have for support when things would get tough but I didnt think he would expect me to message him everyday with small talk. I tried to be understanding, okay so maybe he needs someone to talk to, even though it was tiring for me. I have my inner struggles Ive been dealing with, and Ive told him.

Not to mention we dont have much in common so everytime I talk about something I like he doesn't engage much with it. He's into anime and video games and honestly Im not into that.

But thats not really where the problem lies. The problem Ive been seeing is his love he proclaims to have for me. We've never met in person but he claims he love me so much.
Okay that's fine, but then he started getting very sexual. He started saying that he wants go to sleep and imagine "merging" with me. As time went on and we continued messaging eachother the more occuring these comments became.

He messaged me asking me if it's okay if he "touched" him self looking at my picture. I got pretty uncomfortable at this point, but I though he didnt have to tell me that so maybe that was a nice thing to do? ask for my consent.
But now that it's been occuring so often the things he's been telling me make me uncomfortable. I dont understand why he has to keep telling me about these fantasies.

I thought he was this lost soul needing help, but it's become something uncomfotable and stressful for me to deal with.
Then yesterday he send me this erotic type anime images and said it was "me and him", I really did not like that. It made me uncomfortable. So I told him that those images made me uncomfortable, but his response sounded like he was upset. He agreed not to send me them anymore, but sounded upset.

I feel like this is the last straw. I feel so confused and I don't know what to do. He sees me as this "angel" and I feel he is way too invested in me.
I reached out to him and a lot of people I see struggling because I know what that's like. I know how it feels to feel misunderstood or alone. I took him as that kind of person, but once I started seeing how he expected me to message him often and how he kept telling me his sexual fantasies I really started to not want to keep messaging him.

I feel like it would be terrible for me to cut him off now and I don't know what to do. It's basically my fault because I kept beating around the bush and wanting to be a supportive person for him, when really I can't even be that for myself right now.

He knows I don't see him that way. He even told me he doesnt care having unrequited love. But he still sends me these "naughty" messages.

Im really so confused on what to do. I can't even ask anyone on that forum because he'll see it.
Even when I told him I was uncomfortable I should have been more forward. I understand it's my fault for letting this happen. But the sexual messaging and stuff is really where it intrudes on my moral and comfort.

He's a Scorpio sun, Pisces moon, Cancer rising. I can't seem to find any specific thing in his chart that points to this.
I thought maybe his Pisces moon made him ultra sensitive, but Ive befriended plenty of Pisces moons online as well and they were never like him. I don't know what it is. Or how to handle this situation. Id appreciate any help. I don't want to hurt him and after all these months just cut him off.
But then again theres been so many times hed throw a tantrum about me not replying right away and it just continues. What should I do?

posted April 05, 2021 09:38 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Librapurr:
The first thing I noticed, he has Eros and mars opp. AC. Tr. Pluto is already farther from his mars, but it was here for a while making him more aggressive. Also, Scorpio is lustful by itself. So a guy probably didn’t have anybody for a while and horny. You’re an angel for being that patient. You can try to change a subject with him and ignore all his indecent messages, answer about something else. It seems like he needs your reaction for his phantasies

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Yesterday I tried changing the subject after I told him I was uncomfortable but he ignored that message. Then another time before this I also tried to change the conversation to something else, but everyday before he goes to sleep he tells me these things. I do think you're right, I think he wants me to reciprocate them. And now Im uncomfortable knowing he saved my picture and is doing that, like it's something I really wish he didn't tell me

posted April 05, 2021 11:32 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by SoulOfABird:
Yesterday I tried changing the subject after I told him I was uncomfortable but he ignored that message. Then another time before this I also tried to change the conversation to something else, but everyday before he goes to sleep he tells me these things. I do think you're right, I think he wants me to reciprocate them. And now Im uncomfortable knowing he saved my picture and is doing that, like it's something I really wish he didn't tell me

I keep having these same problems with Scorpios. Another Scorpio guy messaged me before in another forum over a year ago and he was upset when I didn't respond back. Like is this a Scorpio thing? Maybe Im just not compatible with them.They treated me like Im in a relationship with them when I never said I saw them that way lol
The difference with him though is I just stopped messaging him. But with this Scorpio I wanted to be there for him cause I didn't want him to feel alone I guess. But overtime these characteristics started coming out that I had no idea he had. He seemed more innocent before it made me want to protect him.

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posted April 06, 2021 10:29 PM            

I'm kind of confused by this, it seems like you are the one who sents wrong signals? You say you don't want this but you keep responding? The solution to your problem is very simple and it is completely in your hands?

He wants sex? With that Cap Mars in his 7th H he will be pushy and persistent about it especially if you are too kind and passive in the way you respond. And since you keep responding he believes that you either secretely enjoy his attention but you're playing hard to get or at least he sees a chance in persuading you. If you absolutely dislike smth you cut it off so that's why he keeps persisting.

You know that it's also a classic tactic right? "Open her heart to open her legs". They show you their sensitive/emotional side so that you feel like they trust you and like you have a connection and then they get to the real point. With that Moon and Mercury he can probably tell very well which girl is sensitive, naive and/or easily manipulated.

I don't see a problem with his chart in general, I've experienced extremely similar charts and the men I've known are not like this.

He clearly wants your sexual support, he doesn't care about understanding you and your needs or getting to know you. Since you say you don't like it I really don't understand why you keep responding? Either completely stop responding, he will eventually stop send you tons of messages. Or you can tell him as your last message that you'll stop chatting with him because of miscommunication or lack of understanding.

posted April 07, 2021 12:52 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Plut0nian2:
@SoulOfABird

I'm kind of confused by this, it seems like you are the one who sents wrong signals? You say you don't want this but you keep responding? The solution to your problem is very simple and it is completely in your hands?

He wants sex? With that Cap Mars in his 7th H he will be pushy and persistent about it especially if you are too kind and passive in the way you respond. And since you keep responding he believes that you either secretely enjoy his attention but you're playing hard to get or at least he sees a chance in persuading you. If you absolutely dislike smth you cut it off so that's why he keeps persisting.

You know that it's also a classic tactic right? "Open her heart to open her legs". They show you their sensitive/emotional side so that you feel like they trust you and like you have a connection and then they get to the real point. With that Moon and Mercury he can probably tell very well which girl is sensitive, naive and/or easily manipulated.

I don't see a problem with his chart in general, I've experienced extremely similar charts and the men I've known are not like this.

He clearly wants your sexual support, he doesn't care about understanding you and your needs or getting to know you. Since you say you don't like it I really don't understand why you keep responding? Either completely stop responding, he will eventually stop send you tons of messages. Or you can tell him as your last message that you'll stop chatting with him because of miscommunication or lack of understanding.

* This post makes me more curious about your chaet instead of his, it smells like Neptunian Mercury. Your way of thinking and responding to him reminds me of my Mercury/Neptune friends or my Mercury in Pisces relatives.

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I think I mentioned in my op that he kept apologizing to me every time I attempted to stop messaging him. So yes, I kept responding to him because he kept saying he was sorry but then went back to the same thing. I also already did mention that I am at fault for this for not being direct enough.
I was trying to understand him though, I cant say I haven't done things to mess things up.

But regardless if I wasn't aggressive enough I still told him I was uncomfortable. I gave him chances. I take responsibility for getting it this far, but how was I suppose to know he would so call "fall in love" with me just for me messaging him?

And how I supposed to know he expected me to message him everyday? It was meant to be platonic. It started off that way. But I cant possibly ignore him when he sends me messages like what he's doing for the day. That would be mean.

It doesn't help that he would send me messages making me feel guilty that I stopped talking to him. Stuff like " I dont know how much longer I'll live" when I tell him we should stop messaging each other. So how can I ignore him?

Either way I cant win, it's either Im too "passive" that I send wrong signals, or I will be too blunt that it will come out harsh and will hurt him. So I don't know what to do. It's not like I didn't communicate how I was feeling about the situation.

So I messed things up beating around the bush. He messaged me again saying sorry again. Then saying stuff like he is less sexual than most guys and only is this way because he feels an emotional connection to me. Which for a while I took him a genuine, maybe a it delusional because I dont get how he can love me as much as he says, but I didn't believe he had bad intentions on me honestly. But just recently it has gotten worse and Im not sure how genuine he really is.

posted April 08, 2021 08:18 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by SoulOfABird:
I think I mentioned in my op that he kept apologizing to me every time I attempted to stop messaging him. So yes, I kept responding to him because he kept saying he was sorry but then went back to the same thing. I also already did mention that I am at fault for this for not being direct enough.
I was trying to understand him though, I cant say I haven't done things to mess things up.

But regardless if I wasn't aggressive enough I still told him I was uncomfortable. I gave him chances. I take responsibility for getting it this far, but how was I suppose to know he would so call "fall in love" with me just for me messaging him?

And how I supposed to know he expected me to message him everyday? It was meant to be platonic. It started off that way. But I cant possibly ignore him when he sends me messages like what he's doing for the day. That would be mean.

It doesn't help that he would send me messages making me feel guilty that I stopped talking to him. Stuff like " I dont know how much longer I'll live" when I tell him we should stop messaging each other. So how can I ignore him?

Either way I cant win, it's either Im too "passive" that I send wrong signals, or I will be too blunt that it will come out harsh and will hurt him. So I don't know what to do. It's not like I didn't communicate how I was feeling about the situation.

So I messed things up beating around the bush. He messaged me again saying sorry again. Then saying stuff like he is less sexual than most guys and only is this way because he feels an emotional connection to me. Which for a while I took him a genuine, maybe a it delusional because I dont get how he can love me as much as he says, but I didn't believe he had bad intentions on me honestly. But just recently it has gotten worse and Im not sure how genuine he really is.

Yes you can say I wasn't being clear, but I still dont see that as en excuse to send me sexual messages ?
Maybe Im reading this wrong but it kinda seems like you a shifting the blame on me. I never said I was innocent in this. I just dont know how to stop the messaging without hurting his feelings.

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More like shifting the control of this situation on you.

Does he have an illness you know of? No matter how long he lives it doesn't have anything to do with you. You can't save anyone who doesn't want to be saved. He doesn't seek your emotional support, he uses it to get what he wants. Or at least he is trying to.

He puts his needs first not yours. Do the same. Boundaries my friend. See it this way, you're harming him more by feeding his hopes when you know it won't lead anywhere.
There is no way to not hurt his feelings or illusions or whatever this is. You need to cut him off. The sooner the better.

You can find many excuses, like you found a boyfriend so you have to stop talking to other men bexause you are exclusive. Or that you have to go away and you won't have an internet connection for a long amount of time. However I prefer the sincere approach. It makes me feel good and "clean" both to myself and others. You let the other person know what's the issue and you give a closure. Once the pain is over and they'll be able to see the situation clearly it might help them understand the situatuon better and maybe prevent them from making the same mistakes in the future.

When you say that you'll do smth though, then you have to do it, otherwise none will take your words seriously.. And they will be right to do so. It means you don't take your words seriously either to begin with. You say smth you don't do.. See? So when you say that you will stop responding you have to do it too no matter what.. Now he knows that no matter what you tell him, he'll say he's sorry and you will keep replying.

You gave him plenty of chances, he says sorry everytime and then does the same thing. He is clearly not sorry enough if at all. In my country there is a saying "You fool me once you are stupid, you fool me twice I am stupid". Do not rely on words, rely on actions. You are being manipulated.
You said you are uncomfortable but you keep on talking to him, why should he respect your feelings when you don't respect them yourself? By respecting it means that you state your feelings and if the other person keeps disrespecting them then you cut off the person. That's how you respect yourself. He said sorry the first time fine, you gave him another chance, he did it again and again. He doesn't care about your feelings, caring with words is easy, showing it with action is the real proof. When you want to help others you have to think that sacrifising for others doesn't show kindness, it shows that you treat others better than yourself, so you put yourself lower than others. Others will treat you then the same, they will only take from you. That is why boundaries are needed. Good/right/fair things often do not sound sweet to the ears.

With this mentality you will probably keep attracting these type of men and if you can't handle an online person what are you going to do with a "live" one who you might have feelings for, or who might threaten you and know personal info about you like where you live etc? That's what worries me the most and
for that reason I analyzed it this much.

posted April 09, 2021 06:19 AM            

Also, when someone says things like "I don't know how much longer I'll live" when you try to cut off contact with them, that's a manipulative tactic to reel you back in. He knows it works with you, so that's why he says it, and he'll say it again if you try again. Don't worry, he won't kill himself (they rarely ever do), and even if he did, that's not on you.

I don't know what placements you have in your chart, but if there are any strong neptunian elements, it may be harder for you to just shun a person like that than it would be for the average person. Don't feel bad for just cutting him off and no, you don't owe him an explanation either. He clearly has a lot of problems, sure, but one: his burdens are not yours, and two: it also sounds like there's a manipulative side to him, and that, to me, is always a red flag.

posted April 09, 2021 07:42 AM            

The whole thing even from the beginning sounds like a total manipulation and pity ploy to hook you into an energy feeding dynamic.

posted April 12, 2021 11:02 PM            

But now as time went on, and the more Ive spoken to him the more I realize that he really doesnt seem to care about me. He claims he understands I have my own struggles but he barely asks me, usually it's him talking. And the few times he has asked me he kind of brushes it off instead of letting me vent to him or ask me further questions. Yet he claims to care soo much about me. It felt like a constant merry go round with him. Im tired of dealing with him.

And thanks to your guys' input I found the strength in me to just let it go and not feel guilty. I dont feel guilty now because I realize I really dont believe he was the type of person he made himself to be.
I also feel like I did what I could to keep his friendship and be a non-judging person to come talk to now and then. Sometimes it's hard for me to see things clearly and I need someone else to give input to help me see what Im maybe not seeing.

Any who I finally told him that Im not going to contact him anymore. This was my final message to him. Im not sure if that came off too passive as well, but I tried not to be too cold but also not warm either. Hopefully my response was okay. But this was his response to me. Im in the blue he's in the black.

But yes as a few pointed out I am not blameless because I was too passive and inviting to him I put this upon myself and offered something I guess I wasn't ready for. I also kept responding to him. I just didnt know it would be so tiring and frustrating. I guess I should do this when Im more healthy myself. Im trying to help people when Im not even at a good mental state. Or I need to learn the signs of someone taking advantage versus someone who actually needs help.

posted April 12, 2021 11:25 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Librapurr:
The other idea, his moon and Venus afflicted by Uranus and square each other so he has contradicting desires and it might be hard for him to relate adequately.
If you believe he is just confused, not narcissistic maniac. You can try to explain him a proper way of the expressions of an affection. Also, the difference between love, lust and sexual harassment.

His 5th Mercury making good aspects to moon, Mars. He might be capable of learning new ways. However, there’s much fixed energy here. Don’t get too involved in it,

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Thank you for all of your input (: I did notice though that he can be pretty stubborn. I recommended he go out and get fresh air. Or when he said he felt lonely I suggested he get a pet. Everything I offered he didnt want to do. He always came up with an excuse. I told him that he can't find happiness through someone over the internet. I just don't see how it would be fulfilling? I mean I know for me it wouldnt.
And from what it seemed he just stood home playing anime games all day, that would make almost anyone feel lonely.
He even told me about this one Cancer girl who reached out to him. He said she liked him a lot. I told him he should go out with her, but for some reason he didn't want to. So I figured he's just very stuck in his ways. He has a routine he does everyday. Most of the time he never really expressed what exactly is bothering him and made it seem that as long as I responded to him and comforted him he was happy. The only time he wasnt was when I didnt respond to him for a few days, or when I said we should stop messaging eachother. That should have been a red flag because someone who is sad wouldnt just suddenly be okay as long as person on the internet kept in contact with him. At least I wouldnt think so. I don't know he's quite the unique person. One thing for sure is that we didnt have anything in common, so maybe like you mentioned it was also a synastry issue ?
In any case at this point I realize whatever it is I can't handle him. My brain probably lost brain cells lol
It think he would fare better with someone else. I am also so bad at keeping timely contact through messaging.

posted April 20, 2021 11:47 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by SoulOfABird:

Thank you for all of your input (: I did notice though that he can be pretty stubborn. I recommended he go out and get fresh air. Or when he said he felt lonely I suggested he get a pet. Everything I offered he didnt want to do. He always came up with an excuse.

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