Posts: 274
From: A Place of Pure Love
Registered: Nov 2010

posted January 19, 2011 06:14 PM            

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My 8 year old son loves his Wii, computer and DS and hates writing and homework.

I have taken away his recreation, still won't help, every day after school I have to remind him atleast 10 times to do his homework and/or complete a writing assignment.

I fear he isn't taking his education seriously and I don't know what else to do at this point.

He is a wonderful writer (Gemini moon and rising) with great ideas but just doesn't not want to write.

So I guess it's 2 questions. How do I get him to want to do his homework and how do I get him to enjoy writing or atleast not feel so much anxiety about doing it.

Maybethis has to do with the fact that I'm a single mom and there is no father figure around to reinforce rules.

Sigh . . . please help.

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From: Melbourne. Victoria. Australia
Registered: Apr 2009

posted January 19, 2011 06:19 PM            

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Can you make an agreement with him? He wants to play and you want him to do homework so can he compromise? I don't really know 8 year olds, it works with my 3 year old.

"First we do writing then you can watch 1 Dora, then nap time." She keeps her agreement, always.

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“It’s an interesting thing. Seeing Kuan Yin relating to a flower so intently. She's not just looking at it; she's interacting with it…I’m seeing how the act of relating to a flower appears to be so simple. Yet, it takes a tremendous amount of courage to make such a “simple” act important. Now, the lotus is floating away.”

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From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted January 19, 2011 06:59 PM            

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CCM
I am thinking on it.I wanted you to know that lol

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Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
You must face,touch and feel the dregs of Nessus before you can grasp the pristine beauty of Neptune.
Me

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Posts: 274
From: A Place of Pure Love
Registered: Nov 2010

posted January 19, 2011 09:24 PM            

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We had a long talk and I'm certain things will improve. I believe my impatience and irritation with him isn't benefiting him so I will encourage more and show more patience. My only reason for being so hard on him is because he's so damned smart and I know he can do it. It's so important to me for him to do his best, but I am going to show more patience

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Posts: 1672
From: Melbourne. Victoria. Australia
Registered: Apr 2009

posted January 20, 2011 12:14 AM            

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“It’s an interesting thing. Seeing Kuan Yin relating to a flower so intently. She's not just looking at it; she's interacting with it…I’m seeing how the act of relating to a flower appears to be so simple. Yet, it takes a tremendous amount of courage to make such a “simple” act important. Now, the lotus is floating away.”

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From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted January 20, 2011 01:08 AM            

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He sees it as a chore.
It's so tough to get boys interested in school, you have to start while they're young 3-ish and keep the momentum going.
If he doesn't get enough attention from you, then being there the entire time he's doing his homework would help.
Plus Gemini gets bored so he might not have a good attention span.
Ask him for a little bit of time at first to do HW, or to just write a paragraph.
With Geminis you have to make it into a game, something fun, definitely not something that is 'work'.
It doesn't have anything to do with being a single mom,
this happens to a lot of kids,
it's even harder to keep them interested as they get older.
Teachers are to blame for a lot of this.
Teachers and parents have to work together,
but he's still young-ish so there's time to get him back on track.
If you lose interest in their schooling and what they're learning, they're gonna likely follow and lose interest too,
you're likely really busy, but make it a point to at least visit the classroom once while they're in class so you can see if he participates, if he's the same as he is at home, cos the teachers lord knows don't always give accurate reports, you know your child better than they do.

If you take his recreations away you initiate a power stuggle, and that is lose-lose, cos he's gonna associate doing his work with loss, not good. He won't be motivated.
Keep in mind too that there are different kinds of learning styles, and his may not be the kind that adapts well to the standard classroom (very very common, this is another reason a lot of children don't do as well in school as they could).

So, again, you have to get creative in how he learns/studies best. http://www.howardgardner.com/MI/mi.html
And if it comes to a point where you think that he might be held back then you have to really start collaborating with the teacher and the principal if need be to get them on the right track (your son's mode of learning). Don't worry about being seen as pushy, because that's their job and they need to be held accountable.

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Posts: 274
From: A Place of Pure Love
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posted January 20, 2011 05:11 AM            

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I appreciate that Lonake and will follow your advice Thanks SunChild and Ami

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From:
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posted January 20, 2011 05:32 AM            

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It's like when they're in school you're back in school all over again

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posted January 20, 2011 11:47 AM            

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coconut - we're having the same issues with my step-daughter, and she's 11... it can be a real challenge, especially when they don't enjoy studying which sometimes has very little to do with learning... Lonake gave you wonderful suggestions...
we use a reward system, for example she's allowed to play the Wii or watch tv etc for extra time - she won't necessarily know when it's coming which adds the element of happy surprise, and she also gets positive reinforcements on a more constant basis for the same thing... "you did such a good job yesterday with your homework have an extra 15 minutes" or whatever...
we also sit with her when it's time for homework - not sure if that's a possibility in your household or not but this helps her not feel all alone doing something she hates...
this all helps, but i'll be honest it's still a challenge and i don't know that, in our case, she'll ever really have a passion for learning...
good luck

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“Believe none of what you hear and half of what you see.” B.Franklin

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Posts: 5366
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted January 20, 2011 12:12 PM            

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I have been thinking about this,CCM.
Somehow ,you have to link schoolwork to something that feels good.
HOW is the question of the day.
There must be some reward scheme lol that can work.
We ,just,have to think of it

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Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
You must face,touch and feel the dregs of Nessus before you can grasp the pristine beauty of Neptune.
Me

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Posts: 274
From: A Place of Pure Love
Registered: Nov 2010

posted January 20, 2011 01:37 PM            

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I truly appreciate you guys' help/suggestions and yes, it is like I'm back in school all over again, what makes it even more frustrating is the difficulty of the work! He is in third grade and they are multiplying double numbers! Wha??? Sigh . . . I don't remember learning that in third grade :/

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Posts: 316
From: Where I want to be..
Registered: Jan 2010

posted January 20, 2011 01:50 PM            

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I'm not a parent Coconut, but I've had a help in raising my brothers. I dunno if every method will work for every kid but what I do is encourage them constantly, I talk about the importance of money and all the great things they can buy when they grow up lol. I've talked about how fortunate they are to have an education and to not take it for granted (our parents didn't have the same opportunities). They also get rewarded for the A's they bring home (I'll buy them a new game for their system etc.) Also, games are not to be played during the weekdays, only weekends/vacations. I'd help them study, work out things they don't understand, look over their homework. Hope this helps! <3

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From:
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posted January 20, 2011 02:29 PM            

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quote:

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Originally posted by coconutcancermoon:
I truly appreciate you guys' help/suggestions and yes, it is like I'm back in school all over again, what makes it even more frustrating is the difficulty of the work! He is in third grade and they are multiplying double numbers! Wha??? Sigh . . . I don't remember learning that in third grade :/

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If he is as intelligent as you say wouldn't you want him to learn everything he could? I'm not sure if you know but when you don't use the brain cells linked to certain activity in the brain they die off. I'm sure there's a way to "re-grow" them in the future if one really needs but it takes more time and hard work. So why go through that to begin with when he already has such a good start?

People underestimate the ability of a child to comprehend and really learn something. Honestly he could probably learn another language right now. He has the mental capability and as a Gemini sign would like the mental stimulation.

You'll disagree with my advice but I'll give it a shot anyway, take away the Wii, the video games and the TV, because honestly they really turn the brain to mush. Give him books to read where he can get lost in fantasies and travel to places where he's never been or may never get the chance to go. Allow him to soar through the skies of another world.

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