posted July 11, 2014 04:13 PM
Pixie Jane.... What you're saying is very relevant to my own life personally. And I know through your posts that you have real-experience behind the things you say... I honor and recognize this in you, and I value on a core-level what you're saying. {{ }}I was personally paralyzed economically, socially, and emotionally, for 'that kind of' accidental-crusading 'alone.' Somehow it seemed to be only circumstantial. I'm usually a very cooperative person, (too cooperative, I've been told). I honor and try to follow the rules, not realizing that not all rules mean what they say. Some are cosmetic, and others have extremely serious consequences.
My "QB-1" type (asteroid trine my Sun) stands evolved out of situations. I didn't do it 'on purpose' (but realize also now that it involved part of my soul's purpose, and living to my highest ideals).
Golden Rule... I thought Others generally have the same kind of inner-core Values that I grew up with, and I knew a that a few did not. Based on unique error, I thought that Others would eventually come forward and reinforce me *if* I stood up to fraud and stayed strong-enough in the face of dishonest dealings. I thought that 'someone' 'somewhere' in Leadership would have a Conscience, and that virtue and Truth would save the day. I supplicated to the perpetrators privately, giving them room to escape 'shame' and to do the right thing. I put my faith in the thought that everyone is born with a Conscience. I am not a litigious person, and learned some 'crushing lessons' about persons in positions of Power-Over people.
I dealt openly, honestly, and concretely-- step by step, honoring those who were 'in Authority.' (My Father modeled this to me. He had been in the military all his life. Even when it seemed that he was clearly right, he accepted false guilt for things... which was maddening to my inner developing warrior.)
I "trusted" that Truth comes out in the end and that there's redemption. I trusted Leadership. Assumed they had the moral fiber and qualities it would take~~ Or that there was adequate 'supervision' (higher authority) who was monitoring their underling. *They* were 'Right-Leadership' (o alas~~, the very-naïve, idealistic-me).
You have to be "your own" Right-Leader inside. I dealt with these whom I'd honored (who were NOT honorable) with the Higher road senses and qualities inside my soul. Be Gentle as Doves..., Direct with Truth because Truth Rings a Bell. But I did not know the signs, I did not see the vipers and snakes hidden in the 'green grasses'....
I dealt with these Others with all honor and diplomacy as I could muster. They were sinister people, in a HIGHLY secretly politically motivated system-- one 'designed' to identify people with good motives, and to encapsulate and rendered these inert for their own 'hidden agendas' to remain unexposed.
Unknowingly and unconscious on my part, I gently and strongly stood in what I knew and understood were the rules. I didn't realize Consciously at all how Powerfully I was exposing the darkness in them (inside) with the light of simple facts, and the expectation of morality. They "pretended" to be that which I valued most (as was part of their 'organized branding'). The consequence was dire to me. I stood there not-knowing that I represented 'that' which they FAILED in their Public-Service to actually morally DO. I (innocently and uprightly) was a symbol and threat to them to them, and without prior mentoring (because 'girls' don't count), I didn't know how to 'handle' and recognize what I was ACTUALLY dealing with. (Part of my 8th House challenge in my chart!)
I was INCREDIBLY wounded by this experience. I have a lot of bravery within me, but I NEVER realized how 'deep' and dispersed the corruption root was, and still is to this day. I 'naively' believed in the power of the Individual, and had Uttermost Faith in the Collective to Be there, to have my back. Instead, I was screwed.
I have an Idealism in my Heart. One that knows there should be a compassionate active response of Right-Groups to collect around those in trouble, to support what (in my case and fact) was an issue unethical, supremely unfair, and immoral.
But the shallow 'groupings' were intimidated infiltrated and controlled by these unscrupulous (political) "helping" organizations. It was a Lie. The organized Charities (in name only) were there to 1) help themselves to self-perpetuated jobs and money, 2) be in the media lime-light as hero organizations, 3) help perpetuate discrimination, stigma, and to box people into that 'deathly self-identification' and lasting limitation made publicly-repulsive as branded 'stereotypes'... (*us* excludes the more inclusive and truthful identification as *we*), ... 3) attract public sympathy and donations that habitually loop back to item, number 1 (themselves, and those to whom they politically owe debts).
You don't know how VERY VERY strongly I would much like to be proven wrong on this, my views of these 'organized' collective-serving business-groups. I have jaded experience-- which is there to give me wisdom? I can 'believe' the shiny commercials and propagandas. Very hooking. But deep at the core of *them* my question is goes to the root, and I'm afraid that 'duality' will always be their fight. Perhaps that was born into our human experience, and takes extraordinary conscious awareness to harness Correctly, and make Higher use the default priority when things have gone badly. Correction is always a necessary part of the timeline in human experience. How can we ever REALLY know the consequences except to learn from history-- the backwards glances in eras and errors made in time past.... [Actually unanswerable question that can even be judged correctly or incorrectly as each Now-Moment passes. What is Right in one Experience can be Wrong in the Next.]
I feel grief and 'I'm-not-sure-what-else' I feel when I read the stories about various martyrs, in every faction of politics faith and religions... like Astro Keen's "Corrie" WHAT can we "do"?....
To remain anesthetized is very very very "human." We NEED to protect our integral self. It's completely understandable to require periodic escapes and to be able to REST ourselves. To want to escape 'feelings' about what happens to "others" is so completely reasonable and to be expected and honored.
But 'what is' the overall moral human thing to reconcile in those kinds of cases? To not-Feel?.... I'm afraid that this is one of those ways that perpetuate the on-going ills of this Society. Individually, we are shocked and overwhelmed by behaviors, or maybe not. To join an organized Cause can be a trick or terrible-deception we blindly lead our hearts to take, because some of these "use" Honest people, who then become *their* casualties-- We risk making love-blinded decisions, at personal cost of economic catastrophe, or EVEN the essential loss of physical life.
Like I think you were saying, P.J.? .... We need to be able to distinguish, and "balance" ourselves. We need discernment operating-- to allow ourselves to be moved in one's heart, and be sensitized with compassion by what we are deliberately exposing our minds to by commercial and entertainment-oriented media on the outside; YET, I know there is benefit to the education, teaching awareness to recognize needs (around our personal village/community) that perhaps we wouldn't have noticed existed there before.
Think globally AND act locally ~~ starting with that 'neighbor' who smiles and acts as though everything's fine and they're on top of the world? Or how about that aggressive mean callous isolative and uncaring family?
We can never really know?.... which one needs that touch~~ the 'help' or protection that connection can provide. What's going on behind that face, or locked social door? We live in objective subjectiveness? or Subjective objectiveness? How do we know 'which one'.... It's a level and state of suspense, for me.
I'm very sensitive and tend to override what my soul says to do, because I'm earthly confused. I have my own very deep needs, and I learned that one can wait forever for things that never seems to arrive. But that experience also sensitizes me to those who suffer around me-- If "I'm" suffering from this, then could 'they' be suffering in silence too? What can *I* do to help? What can I provide that will possibly help them? When I am in a limited position to help myself, then I want to "see" help come on others around me. I want to set free those others in traps I found my own self in life derailed me into. I may not be able to extricate my own self, but I will be watchful over others, and dedicate energy to Be the Blessings I can't get....
We can never know some of the horrors that exist behind some closed doors... People, families, can hide behind their soft happy masks and say 'oh, everything is fine' here. Is it? Gently, It is really?... Sometimes it's not. And it may not be safe for them to say.... Especially when others already know, and feel hostile to those with deep needs, and demand that happy-masks stay on.
*They* don't want to 'really and actually' be bothered by any social problem in their own private spheres, unless it were to touch and disturb their own space literally (family, personal, village catastrophe and violence, or sickness). Their media-influenced solution is to throw money at the "Organized" institutional systems (churches, charities).... but this action may never directly 'make the difference'.
Prayer AND Money helps.... Some can cast money into coffers while others can only throw out shallow or silent thoughts and prayers.
P.J. One of your urls showed a picture of a group holding up a sign that says "we" don't agree or feel the same way that our government and radical groups are representing the WHOLE of us to be. THAT is Powerful.
To the people of Gaza and all the mid-east and surround...... People CARE about you, and what's going on in your World. I feel so sorry that you experience such cataclysmic changes in your immediate surrounds. It shouldn't have to be like that. I care about your hurt. I care that your politicians and slave-reckless-soldiers think NOTHING of destroying your homes, and minds and health and security.
We need to collectively Lift up our perspectives. Join together from a more over-arching view. There are lines drawn, boundaries on the ground, and within our own belief systems--- but we must NOT disregard the fact that there really ARE no boundaries when it comes to the things that are Core to the existence of Human Beings upon this earth. Peace in the borders. Peace and the right to possess and hold-on to palpable Hopes that our Human Family will prosper, and that we each desire to exist unmolested in the Pleasant places (of states of mind, body, and spirit).
....
This POSTING went long, and I need to take a break, go for walk and get some food in me, as I feel a bit light-headed.
I may, or may not, change this post. Maybe I will leave it "as-is"... only 'minor' cleanup later. Maybe I tended to go too long on some paragraphs and interrupted the flow in my own writer's attempt to communicate-all, yet still try at first draft to remain as clear as possible. But my Expressions of all this I've posted includes isolated-perhaps elements of things not quite integrated~~ how I feel, and, what I think... Gently, I need now to go take care of my immediate needs, so that I can do the things I want.
Isn't 'that' the philosophy for existing in our day-to-day world? We need to pay attention to 'what's now', so that we can and may be able fulfill a Tomorrow?
(music) Storm Comin' (Wailing Jennys) [3:32] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OguVb3uSZTs
9:32pm edt