posted May 07, 2011 10:40 AM            

Some text highlights:

Obama

quote:

---

..."Donald Trump is here tonight!

Now I know that he's taken some flack lately, but no one is happier. No one is prouder to put this birth certificate matter to rest than the Donald. And that's because he can finally get back to focusing on the issues that matter. Like did we fake the moon landing? What really happened in Roswell? And where are Biggie and Tupac?

All kidding aside, obviously we all know about your credentials and breadth of experience. For example -- no seriously -- just recently in an episode of Celebrity Apprentice, the men's cooking team did not impress the judges from Omaha Steaks. And there was a lot of blame to go around, but you Mr. Trump recognized that the real problem was a lack of leadership. And so ultimately you didn't blame Lil John or Meat Loaf. You fired Gary Busey. And these are the kinds of decisions that would keep me up at night. Well-handled, sir. Well-handled.

---

Seth Meyers (SNL)

quote:

---

Donald Trump has been saying that he'll run for president as a Republican, which is surprising since I just assumed he was running as a joke.

Donald Trump often appears on Fox, which is ironic because a fox often appears on Donald Trump's head. If you're at the Washington Post table with Trump and you can't finish your entrée, don't worry the fox will eat it.

And if I can for a moment talk about the birther issue: When did we get so suspicious about where people were born? A USA Today poll last week said 38% of Americans think the President was definitely born in the US. In the same poll, in the very same poll, only 5% more said Donald Trump was definitely born in the US. Has it reached the point where Americans only think someone was born here if they saw it? I know I was born here, and I know my younger brother was born here, but when it comes to my older brother I can only take him at his word.

Gary Busey said recently that Donald Trump would make a great president. Of course he said the same thing about an old rusty bird cage he found.

Donald Trump owns the Miss USA Pageant, which is great for Republicans because it will streamline their search for a vice president.

Donald Trump said recently he has a great relationship with "the blacks," though unless "the Blacks" are a family of white people, I bet he's mistaken.

I like that Trump is filthy rich, but nobody told his accent. His whole life is models and gold leaf and marble columns, but he still sounds like a know-it-all down at the OTB. Mr. Trump may not be a good choice for president, but he would definitely make a great press secretary. How much fun would that be? 'Kim Jong-il is a loser. His latest rally was a flop.' 'I feel bad for Ahmadinejad. The man wears a wind-breaker. He has no class. I on the other hand sell my own line of ties. You can find them at Macy's in the flammable section.'

---

Seth Meyers 20 min

posted May 07, 2011 09:04 PM            

sounds as though, like our last republican president, he considers his base to be the "haves and have mores"...

and his campaign to help sell THAT as well as the tv series.