posted March 14, 2012 10:28 AM            

I really need to just vent to finally get this out of me. I met a very low level Pisces and was falling for him when all of a sudden he disappeared on me after we had a very intimate conversation. I know that Pisces men are known for playing the disappearing act, but this particular guy is just downright deceitful that even if there were a chance of him showing up again I wouldn't be able to get over what he's put me through.

He's lied to me from the very beginning. Not all were huge lies, but white lie after another takes a toll in the end. The biggest ones that I cannot forgive are that he was looking for a serious relationship and that he wanted to be with me (kept hearing the latter, but not under the right circumstances). Others were harmless, but left me scratching my head as to why he would bother to try to hide the truth.

I really liked him, but the whole time something kept telling me that he wasn't trustworthy. I stared at our natal synastry, progressed synastry, and composite charts trying to see if there were feelings between us that were more than just sexual. I never saw anything and now can't believe I didn't pick up on his name asteroid squaring my Neptune and my Sun and Moon both squaring his Neptune. He always left me wondering whether or not he was sincere and where I stood with him. Now, after a month of him avoiding me, I know that I didn't mean squat to him. All he was after was sex and he made sure that we talked about it all the time whenever he wanted to talk to me.

When I finally realized that I was the only one who wanted more I wasn't angry or too sad. At least not at first. Another week has gone by and so many things that he said, didn't say, and things that I was blind to are coming out. I've gone from angry and cursing him to feeling like a big pile of poo, trying to figure out what is so wrong with me that he didn't give a damn about getting to know me and wanting a relationship with me. Then I'm angry with myself for being so pathetic.

I know that he's not right for me, but logic isn't helping. This isn't the first time that someone led me on and later rejected me, but it is the first time that I was pretty upfront with a guy. I told him that if he didn't want things to go anywhere between us to be honest about it. Even asked him how much space he wanted or needed and his reply was that he didn't need much. Though he said that he wanted to be close I thought I did my best to give him room to breathe (days, then weeks!). Obviously there's not enough space in the world when someone just doesn't want you.

I suppose this was a lesson that I had to learn: pay attention to the early red flags. Last year I spent months wondering what T.Saturn conjunct natal Juno and T.Juno conjunct natal Saturn would bring to me. After we met, I checked the transits again, this time using his name asteroid as well and saw that his transiting name asteroid was on my natal Juno and T.Saturn. I'd liked to be in awe of this, but the cynic in me is going "do you see the cold lesson Saturn is teaching you?" A very cold and unfeeling Pisces with a Capricorn Moon walked into my life and quickly exited. With his Moon in my 1H and loosely conjunct my ASC, I thought he would feel something for me. He didn't, but I cared for him and was even his own little cheerleader when he fed me his sob stories.

posted March 15, 2012 01:11 PM            

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Originally posted by Delilah:
I agree that Pisces men can be hard to figure out, but this one in particular just didn't want me. He wasn't interested in getting to know me better and mostly wanted to talk about sex. I need more than that.....

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quote:

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Originally posted by Delilah:
and it takes quite a bit to get me to the point where I feel it's safe to go through with it. He did not care about me. He just wanted me to feed his ego and stroke his pride with adoration and compliments. All that there was between us was a fantasy which he tried so hard in the beginning to convince me was reality,

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quote:

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Originally posted by Delilah:
but in the end he vanished and avoided me for a month. So, I walked away with what dignity I had left. I know that he won't see what he did wrong. This is common for him. He never sees how he causes women to leave him and plays the victim of either them or people outside of their relationship.

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posted March 16, 2012 11:58 AM            

I don't think it was me who he cared about, but whether I cared about him. In all of our conversations I had to ask him how he was doing just to get a conversation started. He'd never ask me first and always assumed that something was wrong if I didn't. I don't mean that maybe there was something wrong with my health or welfare, but wrong in how I felt for him as if it meant that I was going to leave. He was more concerned with whether or not I would continue to adore him, which I pretty much did, rather than reveal how he felt for me. If I asked him about it his answer would be so simple and flat. Not that I expect poetry, but if you're trying to get in my pants you better deeply care for me and be close to saying three special words.

I think that deep down I always knew that he wasn't interested in me. Physically, he was my type and we did have a few things in common. Mentally and emotionally, we were not a good fit, which showed in our synastry. It was such a shallow and superficial connection. It was fun for a while, but it wasn't fulfilling on any level. We laughed a lot, until the end when it became obvious that he only talked to me when he was bored. It's not fair to force someone to entertain you whenever you want. I say this because that's basically what I was to him until he he became bored with me. Trying to get him to talk was difficult and tiring. I didn't get to know him and now see that there was nothing worth knowing.

He has Moon square Venus, so I don't think he'll ever find the right woman or will know when he has. What he wants exists for rock stars and teenagers, but not someone of his age who needs to work in a mundane world to support himself. I always wondered how he was going to have such a life when, sorry to be cruel, his artistic talent is mediocre at best and he rarely works on it. I have no doubt that he will someday be successful, but it's not in what he thinks or tries to make others believe. Then again, maybe the best artistic field for him to go into would be writing, specifically romance novels.

I don't believe that he was the victim in the end of all of his relationships. He may not have outright cheated, but once his emotions were gone he might as well have. No matter what he said to me, I always had this feeling that he had one foot in the door and the other out. I knew he was always looking for someone else. He may very well be with her now. I don't know, but with each passing day I feel better. I made sure that he couldn't come back if he wanted to and feel like I made room for something better in my life. All along I knew that he wasn't close to being the one for me, so I guess I used him as well.

posted March 20, 2012 11:49 AM            

I am one, I dated one for over 2 years, when he just up and "cant do this anymore."

I think it is very hard for them to realize their "femanine" qualities, and when they run, they are not running from anybody, but themselves.

They have difficulties with the stronger Sun signs, I think they can feel like the woman is more of the man, does that make sense? And they struggle with their own manhood alot.

Until they find a way to express these femanine qualities that they try to burry, they cant be happy with anybody.

I dont think it is a matter of ineptness of Pisces in relatonships, but a matter of who they pair with. Ultra sensitive, always feeling, Pisces cant be in relations with a strong sign, men or women. We relish a stable sign, but a very strong sign, like Leo, or even Aqua at times is just so hard.

Sorry this man gave you so many difficulties.

And I think sometimes we in the know of astrology get too wound up in the particuars, men are men and women are women, and it is good to step back from the knowledge of astrology and just let things be.

t~~~

posted March 21, 2012 03:26 AM            

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Originally posted by hippichick:
Pisces men are embrioled in a femanin sign, a very femanine sign.

I am one, I dated one for over 2 years, when he just up and "cant do this anymore."

I think it is very hard for them to realize their "femanine" qualities, and when they run, they are not running from anybody, but themselves.

They have difficulties with the stronger Sun signs, I think they can feel like the woman is more of the man, does that make sense? And they struggle with their own manhood alot.

Until they find a way to express these femanine qualities that they try to burry, they cant be happy with anybody.

I dont think it is a matter of ineptness of Pisces in relatonships, but a matter of who they pair with. Ultra sensitive, always feeling, Pisces cant be in relations with a strong sign, men or women. We relish a stable sign, but a very strong sign, like Leo, or even Aqua at times is just so hard.

Sorry this man gave you so many difficulties.

And I think sometimes we in the know of astrology get too wound up in the particuars, men are men and women are women, and it is good to step back from the knowledge of astrology and just let things be.

t~~~

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I would have rather he told me that he didn't want to go any further and put an end to it a long time ago. I can handle the truth even when I don't want to accept it.

Can't help including astrology. It's my addiction. He didn't seem feminine at all, just laid back until things became a little more personal. For a while, I was grateful that he was so patient with me, but then things changed. He became more passive even when he "initiated" conversations.

Funny thing is that I'm glad that it's over now. I cared for him, but was not in love with him. I honestly hope that he finds whatever he's looking for. We just weren't/aren't right for each other.

I don't know how I'm able to let everything go so easily and don't want to pick at it either. I've learned to not bother with guys like him who pretend that there's more between us, all the while saying that he hasn't met anyone special (yes, I stupidly ignored this too).

posted March 21, 2012 03:48 AM            

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Originally posted by ghanima81:
I went through the same thing a year ago with a Cancer sun. Uncanny how similar the situation is. He has since had 3 "girlfriends" that he announced on FB (he never bestowed that honor on me) two of which he called me after it fell apart just to know I still cared for him. Total a$$. I no longer bother responding because we were terrible together, I think I just clung to the idea of him because he was my first attempt at moving on after a big break up.
Its best for you to live and learn on this one, and not let his inability to understand his own emotions hurt you too much.

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Sorry to hear about your situation too, as well as Lexx and Hippichick.

Right now I'm on a high (not actually high, but happy). I ended things between us for good and blocked him. If I hadn't, I might contact him whenever I'm feeling low. It had to be blunt, but polite. He surrounds himself with nothing but women (something I later found out about after he lied about not having female friends. Don't know why because it's not even a big deal to me), so I'm sure he's found a shoulder to cry on if I mattered that much.

posted March 21, 2012 11:15 AM            

Sometimes we Fish come off as dishonest, and we are not, necessarially, but we cant always say what we feel cause we dont want to hurt, cause if we hurt you, then we hurt us.

Another reason alot of times, Pisces stays in relationships way longer than they should. It is easier, not correct, but easier for us to just go with the flow.

Then one day we cant handle it anymore. The better of us will finally fess up and swim away, the lesser just swim away.

blessins~

posted March 21, 2012 09:09 PM            

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Originally posted by ghanima81:
Good for you! Tatooed bad boy was just what mine was too. Well, tatooed anyway, attempting to pass himself off as the "nice guy that all women didn't look at that way". Yeah right. Turns out he actually HAD slept with most of these women "friends" after they cried on his shoulder. Makes me a bit ill to think about, how much he lied and put on a false front. And just like you I am baffled as to why he bothered with me, he should have just. Left me alone. I tell myself I was not weak and needy enough for him.

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The funny thing about him is that he felt it necessary to tell me that he doesn't have sex on the first date, but after the third. He would tell me all of the things that guys think women want to hear, but I'm a little unique. Lol. I don't believe any man who feeds me this overly romantic picture of dates and the future. Plus, it was a bit nauseating because I'm just not that gooey inside. I don't need candlelight on the first date, just fun.

He was never going to get what he really wanted from me. As much as I liked him, I didn't feel that he could be trusted. He made it a point to keep telling me, at first, that he didn't sleep around. I was impressed until he started pushing and it became obvious what he was after. I remember reading what another Pisces man wrote about how not even after three dates does he consider himself to be in a relationship, even after he and the woman he was with sleep together. What I want is a relationship. A real relationship and not to be used as a test drive. He didn't want that with me, so we walked away from each other.

posted March 21, 2012 09:32 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hippichick:
Rarely do they appear outwardly femanine, unless they have chosen another gender role, but it can be a huge inward struggle for them.

Sometimes we Fish come off as dishonest, and we are not, necessarially, but we cant always say what we feel cause we dont want to hurt, cause if we hurt you, then we hurt us.

Another reason alot of times, Pisces stays in relationships way longer than they should. It is easier, not correct, but easier for us to just go with the flow.

Then one day we cant handle it anymore. The better of us will finally fess up and swim away, the lesser just swim away.

blessins~

t~

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He seemed quite bent on asserting his masculinity. It was never at risk with me, but from the way he described his past relationships he wasn't allowed to fulfil his role as the man. Honestly, it sounded more like castration than just emasculation.

I told him very early on to tell me if and when he wanted to back off because I didn't want to fall for him when he didn't feel the same for me. I was honest about my past and told him that I couldn't go through the same things again. When it finally became apparent that I was repeating my past I was hurt. If he would have told me that he didn't want to be with me and wasn't interested in me, rather than assuring me that he did and was, there would have been a lot less frustration and anger.

He was definitely the lower Pisces as he just disappeared without a word. In the three weeks of not hearing from him I only sent him two messages to say hi and to wish him a happy birthday. When a month went by and not a word came from him, I knew without a doubt that he was avoiding me.